If You Hate The Diaper Genie, You Don’t Live In The City
There is so much advice out there regarding the stuff you actually need to own when you become a parent. There seems to be a general agreement about the things that are probably totally unnecessary – bottle warmers, wipe warmers, super fancy burp cloths – that kind of thing. But whenever I see a Diaper Genie pop up on that list of unnecessary goods – I want to scream, Are you crazy? I realize now that this is because I lived in the New York City when I had my first child. If you live in the city – you need the Diaper Genie.
I realized a poop-filled diaper was probably not the most pleasant thing in the world before I had kids – but I didn’t quite realize how disgusting it was after a matter of mere minutes. My God. If you are lucky – you have no idea what poop that’s been festering for a few hours smells like. It’s a scent that came straight from the bowels of hell. Okay, actually it came straight from the bowels of your baby – but you will never believe how disgusting the stuff that comes out of your precious little gift is until you actually witness it. This shit needs to be contained. You need the Diaper Genie.
Now, I absolutely understand not wanting to keep that vile shit in your house for even a minute. But if you live in a third-floor walk-up, there is not really another solution for this. If you wrap the diaper in plastic and stick it in your hallway – your neighbors will probably set your apartment on fire and/or punch you in the face. If you are one of the lucky few that lives in a building with a trash chute – I’m jealous. I you live in a garden apartment with quick access to an outdoor trash can, that’s great, too. Pretty much any other living situation in the city requires the quarantine of the Diaper Genie.
Now that I live in the suburbs, I see how fantastic it is to not have to use the Genie. I just wrap the diaper in plastic and throw it out my side door, to be swooped up and disposed of in my outdoor trash can in the morning. Remembering the vile scent that used to waft up from the Genie when I opened it to insert another diaper makes my skin crawl. But I still attest that it’s a totally necessary investment if you live in a place with no quick access to an outdoor trash can.
So if you’re trying to decide whether or not to add the Diaper Genie to your registry, if you live in the city I suggest that you do. And if you don’t – be lucky you are one of the ones who never has to experience what happens when you open the lid of the Genie to dispose of the string of diapers that have collected inside.