Stealing from Girl Scouts is a dick move. Most people don’t think of themselves as “bad guys,” but a person who steals from little girls selling cookies has got to realize that they are definitely on the wrong side of that storyline. But still, it keeps happening. One person was caught passing fake $100 bills to Girl Scouts in exchange for cookies and change in real cash. Back in 2012 some thieves got their asses handed to them by some older Girl Scouts who were more than willing to punch a dude for stealing their cookies. But those petty crimes were small potatoes compared to the case of Leah Ann Vick, a Girl Scout troop leader who just stole $15,000 worth of cookies from her own troop and went on the run.

According to The Appalachian News Express, 26-year-old Vick was the troop leader of the Wilderness Road chapter of the Girl Scouts, and in February she went to pick up her troop’s cookie order, and it’s suspected that she may have picked up orders for several other troops while she was there. Girl Scouts don’t pay for their cookie orders until they sell them, so the troops owe $15k for those cookies. But after picking them up, Vick just disappeared with all the cookies in tow. Her troop hasn’t sold any of them, and nobody knows where she went.

She stole $15k worth of cookies from her own girls? That’s horrible! Phillis Nefler would never do that. 

The case is Twin Peaks levels of weird, because Vick had several different addresses, and now nobody has seen her or been able to contact her since she picked up the cookies and disappeared with them.

“She has never paid for any of them and anyone who has tried to contact her about them has not been able to contact her,” said District Attorney Rick Bartley. “The case was a little confusing because she may have picked up cookies for other groups. The ones that she did pick up, at least for her own troop, were never sold by the troop. … It looks like she picked up the cookies and, now, she and the cookies have disappeared.”

A Federal Grand Jury has formally indicted Vick on charges of Grand Theft, because stealing $15k worth of goods is grand theft, even if it’s just a whole ton of cookies.

 

That must have been a weird case, but a relief to the grand jury. There are so many terrible crimes a jury member might be asked to look at and weigh in on. I would be so relieved to be faced with, “This person is accused of stealing a fuckton of Girl Scout cookies.”

It’s unclear where she’s going or what she plans on doing with $15,000 worth of stolen Girl Scout cookie. Is she going to sell them? Eat them? Hold them for ransom?  Nobody has any clue where Vick or the cookies went, but if she’s looking for refuge, the Mommyish offices are available in exchange for Samoas.

(Image: Facebook / Girl Scout Cookie Program)