Oh noooooooo. This is so awkward, yet so entertaining. A woman’s obituary has gone viral, but not for ANY of the reasons one might hope to go viral in death. This is the obit equivalent of a pissed-off ex plastering your misdeeds on a billboard. It’s like the dead lady version of Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. I cringed. CRINGED. But also, felt a little bit of happiness that she’s getting her comeuppance. Karma is just so lovely and just sometimes.
An obituary shared on Twitter went viral, which just goes to show: be a good person, and you won’t be mocked in death.
Paragraph 1: ok
Paragraph 2: ok
Paragraph 3: wait
Paragraph 4: OH
Paragraph 5: *airplane flies overhead with a banner reading WELCOME TO HELL MOM* pic.twitter.com/ppV45htrda
— Stu (@RandBallsStu) June 5, 2018
Here was my process when I read it for the first time: “Starts out fine. Ms. Dehmlow seemed to live a long life! Why am I reading this, anyway? Uh huh. Oh. Ummmmm. OH. Nooooooo. Oh god. WTF OH GOD.” And then I cackled, dear readers. CACKLED. Ms. Dehmlow did some people dirty, and goddamn it, they waited. Whoever wrote this, her kids or other family members or whoever, they’ve been waiting for her to die for so long. And when she finally did, they put their plan into play.
This obit made its way around the web, as this shit has the tendency to do.
I always thought the worst last line in an obit was "he was identified by his dental records" until I read this https://t.co/noT3uheIJy
— Chris Miller (@Cmillstrib) June 5, 2018
GOOD HEAVENS ALMIGHTY. This is why you gotta be a good person; because you can't have people waiting to flex big disrespect on you when you can't defend yourself lol https://t.co/lVIPH6ksql
— BlocBoy EJ (@tokthadon) June 5, 2018
— Jeri Young (@jeriyoungWSJ) June 5, 2018
Here’s the thing: was this the right time? Eh, debatable. Did she deserve it? Well … to me, that’s less debatable. You don’t get to be a trash person in your life, and then be revered in death. Sure, people make mistakes. But cheating on your husband with his brother and then abandoning your children to be raised by your parents is a pretty big fucking mistake. I don’t feel sorry for Ms. Dehmlow, but I do feel badly for her children and all the other lives she upended and damaged with her selfishness.
Moral of the story: be a good person! Lesson to be learned: if you’re not a good person, make sure the ones you’ve wronged aren’t in charge of writing your obituary. And as always: don’t start shit, won’t be shit.