What Your Baby’s Crib Says About You

cribThe crib is the visual focal point of any nursery. Besides being the place where your baby will likely spend most of his time (second only to your arms) the type of crib you chose for your baby says a lot about you as a parent. Sure it needs to be functional, but style will inevitably be a consideration. Here’s what your baby’s crib says about you.

1. Your baby sleeps in a laundry basket

Your first born slept on organic muslin sheets and a mattress made of bamboo to ward off allergies. Your second child got a crib from a consignment shop, and his younger brother used that  same one until it broke. Kid #4 just needs a place where he won’t get trampled on until he’s big enough to join the bunk bed brigade.This gets the job done.

2. Your baby sleeps in a bassinet in your room

You can’t bear the thought of not hearing the baby if she cries in the middle of the night, and you don’t trust a baby monitor to not malfunction. Plus middle of the night feedings are much easier when you don’t have to stumble down the hall. You’re not being overprotective, just pragmatic.

3. Your baby sleeps on a mattress on his bedroom floor because you don’t believe in “baby jails”

You’ve removed everything from the room except for the mattress. Despite the fact that your baby’s room now has less stimulation or furnishings than the average jail cell, you still think this is better for him than a crib. I’m sure you believe amber teething necklaces work, too.

4. You have a crib from IKEA

Flimsy wooden pegs instead of screws and no actual directions on how to put it together. Once your baby hits her toddler years, you’ll be what they call “the fun parent”.

5. Your baby has a crib that can convert to a toddler bed and eventually a queen sized bed frame.

Spare me the story about how buying this behemoth is an “investment”. I’ve never heard of a bed surviving the rough and tumble elementary school years and making it all the way to a child’s adulthood. Even if it did, the thought of your child and their spouse getting down on the same bed where one of them once shat themselves may prevent you from ever having grandkids.

6. Your baby sleeps on a custom ordered circular crib

You know people will tell you that a crib which requires custom made sheets and a special mattress is extravangant, but you can’t hear those haters. You’re too busy making a mental list of all the things you’re going to buy your BFF Oprah for Christmas this year.

(image: Shutterstock.com)

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