Probably my favorite thing about being a new parent, besides the kids that I love so dearly, is how much parenting has lowered my expectations. Now, when I do anything that was once considered normal, it is so EXHILARATING because I hardly ever leave the house. This is not a tale of woe or mommy martyrdom; I actually appreciate how my shut-in status has made me excited about mundane, everyday crap.
Here are 10 normal things that become epically fun once you have kids:
1. Going to the grocery store by yourself.
This was hands-down the most thrilling thing I did in the weeks after having a baby. It was simultaneously eerie to run errands without another person living in my body.
2. Going to bed early.
On most nights, hitting the hay at 9 PM feels like a blessing sent from heaven above. I’m not lame, I’m just tired.
3. Sleeping until 8 AM.
8 AM used to sound early to me, but now if I get to sleep in until eight on a weekend, I know it’s going to be a fabulous day.
4. Taking a shower alone.
If I want to multitask, I’ll leave one of my kids in the bathroom to stare at me while I shower; if it’s my lucky day, I’ll shower alone and take my sweet goddamn time.
5. Going out for ice cream.
Any time that the stars align and we are able to have a happy ice cream outing as a family, I feel like I’ve won the lottery. I never realized ice cream could taste so good.
6. Taking a nap.
Naps were once reserved for all-nighters and hangovers, but they are now one of my favorite hobbies.
7. Eating alone in silence.
While this once sounded like a sad, pathetic Friday night, I now relish it. Shut up, my stories are on.
8. Drinking a cup of coffee from start to finish.
As I enjoy my cup of coffee without interruption while my kids are in daycare on the weekdays, I finally understand the phrase “living the dream.”
9. Going to a movie.
I haven’t whimsically said, “Let’s go to a movie!” in close to three years. When we finally book a babysitter and visit the silver screen, I sit with rapt attention and refuse to take bathroom breaks.
10. Going on vacation alone.
Going on vacation used to be fun, but now it has taken on a whole new meaning. Whenever my saintly mother offers to babysit the kids, and my husband and I book a getaway, I am like an excited Chihuahua with a tiny bladder. I’M ON A BOAT.