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TGI Friday Open Thread: What Do You Miss The Most About Your Pre-Kids Life?

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Fotor0913142521Let’s play that game where we don’t have kids and we have an entire weekend all to ourselves and we won’t be woken up in the morning by anyone wanting to play Batman guys.

Screen Shot 2013-09-13 at 1.55.24 PMHow would you spend it? How did you used to spend your time before you had kids? Remember spending an entire afternoon reading a book, without any interruptions? That was THE BEST.

Going to movies that don’t involve talking animals, taking long baths, having sex without anyone knocking on the door and asking if the popcorn bag should be opened before it goes in the microwave, eating a long lunch without anyone stealing all your French fries. I love my kids. I couldn’t imagine my life without them, but sometimes I miss the days before I had them. I can’t be the only one who feels this way. So instead of having any free time this weekend, I’ll be helping with four English projects and cleaning my house a lot. Yeah, Yeah I should have thought about that before I opened my slut legs and got myself knocked up.

 

 

So, tell me, what do your miss most about the days before you had kids? Go go go!

(Image: Tumblr)

69 Comments

  1. NicknamesAreDull

    September 13, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    We used to come home, and sit in absolute quiet for half an hour. That was our unwinding time, and I miss it so much. Now that my daughter is in school and I’m unemployed, there’s a lot more quiet time, but it’s usually filled with doing things. I miss the sitting on the couch, with a glass of wine and having no noise around me.

    • Polyamorous Mom

      September 13, 2013 at 3:43 pm

      yes! this is like my morning one, but at the end of the day. lets have both. lets have quiet ,loads and loads of quiet.

    • AugustW

      September 13, 2013 at 9:58 pm

      Unwinding time. So missed. I suppose I get 20 minutes on the road between my school and picking my daughter up from Grandma’s, but then there is the “where are your shoes?” “where are your pants?” game where I have to chase her around because Grandma is exhausted from watching her that day.
      I do miss just coming home and taking a big deep breath.

    • MonkeyseeMonkeyDo

      September 15, 2013 at 4:39 am

      I can totally understand what you mean….When my 3 yr old goes to nursery school for 3 hrs a few days a week if I’m home and not out running errands, I have absolutely no tv or radio on in the house just to enjoy the quiet.

  2. Ptownsteveschick

    September 13, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    Being able to just get in the car and go somewhere, and not have to remember to get snacks, diapers toys and what ever else. And walking down the stairs without having to say” hurry up, just go down the stairs, let me pick you up then, ok fine walk yourself but hurry up because I don’t want to stand here all day. Why are you touching that old gum?!”
    My mom is taking the munchkin for at least a few days for sleep over at her house next week. I might just take myself out to karaoke.

    • EX

      September 13, 2013 at 3:31 pm

      I had that exact conversation last night except we were going up the stairs to the bathtub. It’s amazing how long it can take a (totally capable of walking up and down the stairs in a flash) 2 year old to complete that task.

  3. Mary

    September 13, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    Staying up late and sleeping in. My bedtime changed because I knew the kids would be up by 6am. And movies, going to a lot of movies.

    • keelhaulrose

      September 13, 2013 at 3:23 pm

      Do you triage your movies too, into “must see”, “want to see, but can wait”, and “I’ll settle for Netflix”?

    • WinWin

      September 16, 2013 at 3:38 pm

      I always triage them! But somehow they all end up in “I’ll settle for Netflix” a few weeks after release 🙁

  4. G.E. Phillips

    September 13, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    OMG. It’s me! I’m in your article! So cool!

    Other than sleeping sans Batman et. al., I really miss drinking and smoking. I quit smoking when I found out I was pregnant and in a lot of ways I’m glad I haven’t gone back, but sometimes I do miss it. I’ll still have a drink or two (or three) on a special occasion, but it’s not as much fun for me as it used to be. First of all, Face is a total buzzkill and cramps my style in the bar, you know? Second of all, hangovers are only fun if you get to wake up at noon, eat a bacon, egg and cheese, and spend the rest of the day re-watching an entire season of Mad Men. Parenting small children and hangovers are a crappy combination.

    • G.E. Phillips

      September 15, 2013 at 10:54 pm

      Carousing. I also miss carousing. I hardly carouse at all anymore.

  5. Shelly Lloyd

    September 13, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    Not having to cook all the freaking time. Before kid if I didn’t feel like cooking, I’d just make a sandwhich, or pick up a salad, but with kids and a family the expect to have a hot meal. I’m a good cook, but there are days when my heart is just not in it.

    • AugustW

      September 13, 2013 at 9:55 pm

      I’m lucky in that my toddler will eat anything.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      September 14, 2013 at 6:18 am

      I have teenagers, it’s like toddlers part 2, lol, they will eat anything too. And there are some nights when I am just too tired to cook and we will have frozen pizza night or “fend for yourself” night. But my hubby will get kind of annoyed with me if I do too many of those nights. And to be fair he will cook dinner on the weekends.

    • AugustW

      September 14, 2013 at 7:55 pm

      Egg beaters + soy milk, broccoli and spinach in skillet, add salsa at the end. Her favorite meal in the universe.

  6. Blueathena623

    September 13, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    I miss all the usual stuff, but the kiddo is still kinda young and goes to bed at 7:30, so I get some alone time, so I sometimes get the book reading and relaxing thing.
    But as a SAHM, I sooooo miss the ability to just schedule an appointment or run an errand without a second thought. Back when I worked, I would call, try and get an appointment before or after work, or run an errand after work, then go home. Now there is the prep before we go, trying to plan things so we can be home at nap time, or calling around to baby sitters to see who is free (and which one will come to my house vs. me dropping the kid off at theirs.)
    It just took 4 phone calls and 30 minutes to schedule a trip to the optometrist. Would have taken 2 minutes pre kid.

  7. historychick79

    September 13, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    Being able to veg completely guilt-free. Even if C is sleeping/with grandparents/at daycare/having daddy time, and I have the house/bathroom to myself, I always have a running list in my head of things that I ‘should’ be doing. After 3 years of the mommy learning curve, I am making time to read, do puzzles, cook for fun and take long bubble baths again (and exercise is at 5am urgh, that is not ‘me’ time), but it’s always a mental struggle to really relax through it.

    • Mel

      September 13, 2013 at 2:59 pm

      This! I hardly enjoy hanging out anymore, because there’s always something I could be cleaning…

    • G.E. Phillips

      September 13, 2013 at 3:01 pm

      I hear you on the exercising, too. I love to run, but it’s hard to get a run in. I miss being able to just go for a run whenever I felt like it, for as long as I felt like it.

    • AugustW

      September 13, 2013 at 9:53 pm

      I bought a Wii Fit and all the trappings, including The Biggest Loser game. You can choose 20 minute, 30 minute, or 60 minute exercise routines. Great for naps.

    • ted3553

      September 13, 2013 at 4:55 pm

      YES! I find it really hard to relax in those few moments I can because of that list in my head. It’s a real struggle that I’m working on

    • Peggy

      September 13, 2013 at 8:16 pm

      yes, yes, and yes to all of the above. This was exactly my answer. Anytime I take some time to sit and do nothing, my brain keeps thinking of other things I should be doing (including right now-should be cleaning the play room rather than drinking wine, watching HIMYM reruns and nosing around mommyish.

    • noelle 02

      September 13, 2013 at 10:48 pm

      You hit the nail on the head. I take time to do things I want now, even with three kids, but I always feel guilty about all the things I should do, whether playing with my kids or cleaning or having a real conversation with my husband. Ten years of feeling guilty all the time is no fun.

  8. jendra_berri

    September 13, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    I’m the first of my friends in town to have a kid. I miss the dinner parties. I miss the group movie outings. I miss being a part of things.
    Also, my hair dresser. I miss our conversations. My salon has too many stairs to lug my stroller up and she doesn’t work weekends.

  9. Lisa Judson

    September 13, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    The freedom of not having to put clothes on when I was thirsty in the middle of the night (because you know it’s just your luck at least 1 child will come walking out of the bathroom/bedroom even at 3am when it’s just not possible) OR first thing in the morning. My husband and I would spend the weekend mornings cooking breakfast without getting dressed and lounge until Noon reading/watching t.v./whatever and then think about putting on clothes and going out for lunch.

    • Ptownsteveschick

      September 13, 2013 at 4:52 pm

      I solved half this problem by just staying naked. If my daughter has an issue with it when she is older I’ll just be like “Well you shouldn’t be up, everyone knows mom is naked after 11pm.” But my own mom was much the same way so I’m used to it.

    • Lisa Judson

      September 13, 2013 at 6:21 pm

      I would do this if we werent a blended family. All I need is for my son’s mother to call and be like “so I called services because my son saw your fun bags.” I didn’t even breastfeed in front of him. It’s just THAT kind of situation. -_-

    • Ptownsteveschick

      September 13, 2013 at 7:17 pm

      Oh yes, I can see how that would definitely be a different situation.

    • AugustW

      September 13, 2013 at 9:57 pm

      Yeah, I saw my mom naked when I was a kid (and recently, clothing shopping) and I certainly wasn’t traumatized. 😉
      Often the only way I get a decent shower is if I drag the toddler in with me, so she sees me naked too. Oh well.

    • Ptownsteveschick

      September 14, 2013 at 2:50 am

      My mom was naked mom, now I am naked mom. The apple doesn’t fall far from that tree haha.

    • Litterboxjen

      September 15, 2013 at 3:05 pm

      I used to see both of my parents naked semi-regularly (my dad sleeps in the buff, my mom would sometimes have to put up with us asking her questions when she was in the tub). I was visiting my parents today with my little one, and just saw my dad in the buff. I made fun of him. 🙂

      My husband and I are both naked around our kid — he’ll take baths with her sometimes, I’m just not shy about wandering around upstairs in the nude. When she gets uncomfortable with it, we’ll adjust accordingly.

  10. keelhaulrose

    September 13, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    I know this is probably weird, but I totally miss being able to go to the store for one freaking thing without having to pack a million things. I’m a scatterbrain a lot of the times, and I’ll be writing out a shopping list and forget to write something painfully obvious and necessary.

    Before kids: no biggie. Hop in car, drive five minutes to store, in store two minutes for item, go home. Total cost: 15 minutes, $5 for missing item.

    After: try putting socks and shoes on children, little one pull off one shoe and one sock and hides them in different spots while I’m putting shoes on big one, realize baby has dirty diaper, change diaper, herd turtles out to car, five minutes buckling in, run back in for sippy cup/blanket/juice box, drive to store, spend five minutes getting kids into store, put little one in cart, fight with big one about riding in cart, get fruit because someone smashed the bananas, get favorite cereal, get *missing school supply*, get wine, check out, five minutes getting back in car and settled, sit down, start car, realize I forgot the item I went for. Total cost: 1 hour (if I’m lucky), $50 for random things I didn’t know we needed, my sanity.

    • Angela

      September 13, 2013 at 3:51 pm

      Haha! I can so relate! Except for the fact that I wish that in my state you could get wine at the grocery store.

    • keelhaulrose

      September 13, 2013 at 3:53 pm

      I’ve seen that before, and i don’t know how you survive. If spend loads less on liquor if I had to go to a separate store for it.

    • Blueathena623

      September 13, 2013 at 4:13 pm

      AMEN!

    • Ptownsteveschick

      September 13, 2013 at 9:36 pm

      I just went to the store for ginger, juice and salad. I spent $100 bucks, got the ginger and the juice and forgot the salad. Sigh.

  11. TwentiSomething Mom

    September 13, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Most of my friends are childless so I miss being able to not have to make plans way in advance just to have an afternoon out at brunch or something. I also miss long weekend getaways.

    • Wendy

      September 13, 2013 at 6:31 pm

      Yes! Can we get a babysitter on that short notice? Jesus. By the time we pay the babysitter, how much will that stupid movie end up costing us? Screw it. Waiting for Netflix

  12. Polyamorous Mom

    September 13, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    I miss waking up when i feel like it, and enjoying my cup of coffee…hell, CUPS of coffee for as long as i want in my pjs. or naked. and doing things that involving sitting and relaxing, like knitting without anyone messing wtih your god damn yarn

  13. EX

    September 13, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Vegging out on the couch for hours watching an America’s Next Top Model marathon. Or Real Housewives or just about any crappy reality TV show. As long as it’s a marathon. Oh how I miss killing my brain cells in that fashion.

  14. Toaster

    September 13, 2013 at 3:38 pm

    Right now, sleep. When the baby finally starts sleeping well again, my freedom. Days like today I feel so trapped and like I’ll never have guilt-free time to be myself again.

    • Polyamorous Mom

      September 13, 2013 at 3:41 pm

      oh yes, sleeping all night. that one too

  15. ChillMama

    September 13, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    The spontaneous “I’ve had a long day. Let’s go out to the pub.” OR, the “we’ve been in all evening, but now it is 9:00 and I want to go out for some soooo delicious carrot cake.”

  16. Venting

    September 13, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    I work full-time from home, husband is a 1st-year MBA (i.e. he’s overloaded), and I parent from the moment I wake up until the moment I start work, and then again from the moment I stop work until the moment I put her down for the night. (Love her!)

    This is really well-timed, because I’m currently surrounded by mostly childless friends who, while busy in their own ways, can go out whenever, sleep in, and carve out large chunks of free time to do nothing.

    I miss brunch. And spontaneous plans. And trivia nights, happy hours and that occasional gorgeous Saturday afternoon when you sit outside somewhere and catch a slight buzz on good beer or margaritas. Then being able to come home and snooze in front of the TV, or sleep in ’till even 8 or 9.

    Oh, oh! And VACATION. Like… a REAL ONE.

  17. Alex Lee

    September 13, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    I miss giving her full-body massages. Really taking my time with it. Getting the oil heated just right. Reserving my fingers and hands all morning for one night.
    Plenty of soft, fluffy, warm towels on hand…

    That’s what I miss most.

  18. Abby

    September 13, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    I mostly miss the feeling of NOT feeling guilty. Like others on this thread have said, I can’t take any time to myself without feeling like I really should be doing something else. It sucks and it’s exhausting

    • Eve Vawter

      September 13, 2013 at 4:50 pm

      This is profoundly, amazingly, completely spot on

    • [email protected]

      September 13, 2013 at 5:55 pm

      This is me.

  19. allisonjayne

    September 13, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    1. Sleeping in. My wife and I take turns on weekends, but neither of us will sleep past 8 or 9am knowing the other is doing solo duty. I miss sleeping in TOGETHER.

    2. Morning sex. The best time of day for boots-knocking, in my opinion. I miss it.

    3. Going to see a movie. I’ll sometimes (rarely) take a vacation day from work and still send the kid to daycare (sometimes we do it together so we can have a day-date) and my number one thing to do is go see a movie. With popcorn so buttery I get 3 pimples the next day. WORTH IT.

    4. Going out at night. With my wife. More than once a month.

    5. Spending a whole day – in the dead cold of winter – in bed, eating junk and binge-watching TV.

    Those are the biggies for me.

    • JAN

      September 13, 2013 at 6:40 pm

      Number 2 for sure! The laid back, no hurry, morning sex on weekends! It’s just not the same when you feel you’re on a deadline, LOL.

  20. Hibbie

    September 13, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    Cursing. Lots and lots of cursing!

  21. Rose

    September 13, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    Spending money on yourself and not feeling guilty. I buy a freaking latte, a voice in the back of my head goes, “gee, you could’ve used that to buy the boy more socks. He only has 10 pairs.”

    Also, for the very brief time husband and I were DINK, we’d sleep in on Sundays, walk to our favorite breakfast joint, then read the Sunday paper together in blissful, calm silence. I think I miss that the most.

  22. chickadee

    September 13, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    Here is some advice for all of you…get rid of your toddlers and get some older kids. Teenagers, even. They are pretty fun, and they like to sleep late too.

    • AugustW

      September 13, 2013 at 10:00 pm

      Is it true how they handle the 2’s is how they’ll handle the teens? I have a lot of older moms telling me this in regards to my toddler.

    • chickadee

      September 14, 2013 at 12:30 am

      I didn’t find that to be true. It may be sickening, what I’m about to say, but I have a 19-year-old and a 16-year-old and I enjoy their company, no one has done anything seriously horrible, and they are focused on their school and futures.

      They were little beasts when they were toddlers. Tantrums galore. Maybe karma decided I’d paid my dues when they were small.

    • AugustW

      September 14, 2013 at 7:53 pm

      This gives me hope. I have a drama queen at home.

    • MonkeyseeMonkeydo

      September 15, 2013 at 4:28 am

      I didn’t find that to be true. My now 22 year old was one to test your patience at EVERY level until he hit 3. He grew out of that and I’m happy to say, he was and is a fun guy to be around. Never gave me any trouble, did great in school and is thriving as an adult. I think I agree with Chickadee and say karma said I paid my dues when he was small.

    • Eve Vawter

      September 15, 2013 at 4:40 am

      But most importantly, now that he is 22 can you borrow money from him? Because I only had kids in the hopes one day I could borrow money from them

    • MonkeyseeMonkeydo

      September 15, 2013 at 5:04 am

      I wouldnt even think of borrowing money but I do dream of going to his house and eating all his food, leaving a mess, etc. but I will save that for the day when I’m old and living with him. I figure my time to wake him up at stupid o clock, throw a tantrum when he cooks something I don’t like, and just being a general pain in the ass is gonna be epically awesome.

    • Eve Vawter

      September 15, 2013 at 11:52 am

      Yes!!!!!!!!

  23. JD

    September 13, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    I miss eating occasional binge eating. Like, a box of Stove Top or Kraft Mac and cheese washed down with a Mountain Dew. My daughter doesn’t nap anymore so I can’t do it during the day. If I wait til the kids are in bed I have to share with my husband!

    • noelle 02

      September 13, 2013 at 10:52 pm

      Or slurping your noodles when eating spaghetti and licking the plate clean without little eyes watching you? Maybe this one is just me!

  24. AugustW

    September 13, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    Pooping without an audience.

    • Ptownsteveschick

      September 13, 2013 at 10:18 pm

      OMG YES! For some reason as of late, my husband also suddenly needs me every time I try to take a poop. The other day he was taking a crap with the door open and I told him it was gross, he responded “Well you always do it with the door open too” I had to explain to him that it is just other people constantly opening the door on me, not something I had intended.

    • keelhaulrose

      September 14, 2013 at 9:23 am

      I’m going to figure out how to fix the lock on our bathroom door, or install a new one, so I can get some privacy in there, because, like you, I’m the only one anyone barges in on so the fix is low priority for the husband.

    • AugustW

      September 14, 2013 at 7:57 pm

      Even when I lock the door, I get THE FINGERS under the door.

      Also, she tends to destroy something while I’m in there. It’s just easier to bring her in with me and contain the crazy.

    • keelhaulrose

      September 14, 2013 at 8:08 pm

      I don’t have enough room for the fingers, so I get the jiggling door handle and pathetic whimpers. But I live with my parents and brother, so we’re big on teaching bathroom manners.

  25. That's Hedley

    September 16, 2013 at 10:03 am

    I really miss working out. I played every sport imaginable in high school and was lucky to be good enough at one to even play in college. Then after college I took up biking, then a short stint running and doing triathlons, then back to biking. For the first 30 years of my life I was always training for something!

    Now, of course, I don’t have time. I’m not a 30 min. workout girl. I used to spend 3-4 hours on the bike every Sat. & Sun. morning in addition to an hour after work twice a week. I got a bike trailer and I take the squirt out 3-4 times a week for 30min. – 1hr. and it KICKS MY BUTT, but it also leaves me wanting more. I want my fitness back. I want my body (somewhat) back. I guess I’ll just have to be a little more winded and squishy until I am done having babies!

  26. WinWin

    September 16, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    As many have mentioned – going out to the movies. And even more..being all alone for the weekend when my husband is out on one of his business trips. Pre-kids, I used to wake up when I wanted to, eat cereal and chips with hummus whenever I was hungry with no proper meals, and in general be a blob on the couch. Now..not so much 🙂

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