As the owner of multiple electronic devices that all can play Plants Versus Zombies (1&2), I enjoy a fun app as much as the next person. But do you know what isn't fun? Any of these amazingly bizarre apps that have to do with babies, parenting or childrearing. Here are some of the strangest I have found.
1: Milk My Baby
What is this how do we milk a baby are babies cows? Looking at the other images from this app, I can assume it is some sort of breastfeeding thing because it also includes a recipe for Goat Milk baby formula.
2: Baby Nursery Decorating Tips!
Sure, maybe this app offers some amazing tips for decorating your nursery, but judging by the main app image I don't have a lot of confidence in the aesthetic ideals of these app developers.
3: Hidden Object - Babies In Dreamland
I Iove a good seek and find game, but looking at the other images from this app gives me a little concern:
FIND THE GAS CONTAINER AND THE MASKING TAPE THEY ARE BY THE BABY! These app developers need to learn some childproofing.
4: See Me Go Potty
Granted, this app does have good reviews, especially from parents of children with autism, because it says it does help them potty train, so you can purchase it here. It's just some of the other images are kinda freaking me out:
5: Beer Baby
Considering this app is advertising a website for people who don't want kids, I can appreciate the sort of snarky humor behind this. But judging from the app's description, which is: You are a baby floating around in a womb. Your objective is to get as many beers as possible while avoiding a DWI, this doesn't sound like much fun for babies OR for drunk people.
6: Babies Vaccination Schedule
This is just your standard shot records app, in Urdu, but I have to give it props for the image and I plan on spamming ant-vaxxers forums with it constantly.
7: Scientology Parent
I think the reviews speak for themselves:
8: Bellybuttons Are Navals
I'm all for kids learning the proper names for body parts and learning about their bodies but this is sorta creeping me out. #sorrynotsorry
9: Escape from Baby Room
Listen, we all want to escape from the baby room, we don't need a game to mimic real life so closely.
10: Baby Hazel Skin Trouble
The Baby Hazel games must be pretty popular because there are roughly a million. Baby Hazel does normal things like plays dress up and celebrates the holidays, but in this franchise a whole mess of bad shit goes down for Baby Hazel, in sort of escalating degrees of "trouble"
Baby Hazel Goes Sick
Baby Hazel Stomach Care
Baby Hazel Leg Injury
Baby Hazel Leg Surgery
Shit just got real for Baby Hazel you guys.
11: How To Date Single Moms
I can't even.
12: Weight Loss During Pregnancy
Because everyone knows it's a good idea to go on a diet while pregnant. The app's description even says:
1. Diet for Weight Loss During Pregnancy
2. Healthy Weight Loss During Pregnancy
3. How Long Does it Take to Lose Pregnancy Weight
4. How to Lose Weight while Pregnant
5. Safe Weight Loss While Pregnant
13: Me And My Dad
Not only does this one have a vaguely child abduction-esque image, but inside you will find some heartwarming little memes like this:
What the fuck does that even mean, Enid Bagnold?
14: Divorced Dad
You may think that the actual app image of this dude trying to grasp helplessly at his child isn't this blurry on the actual page, but it IS. I also love how bitter the dude who created this sounds, and how he hates punctuation.
This is taken from the actual amazon description:
In society the guy is always the bad guy. Being a divorce dad is tough. Even if you were not the cause of your marriages break up it always seems to end up being your fault. Whats worse is your kids refuse to see you because mommy said youre an awful person.
15: Domestic Violence Free
This looks like a quiz to determine if you are a victim of domestic violence:
And because this is the actual real description, I have to add it in here:
Our questions will help you to understand whether it is necessary to visit psychologist to resolve your problems or it’s all in your head.