10 Ways Your Pregnancy Is Annoying Everyone
There is no way around it. Just like in your regular state of being, something about you in your pregnant condition is going to annoy someone- after all, we can’t be all things to all people and this seems to go double for the ever-scrutinized pregnant woman. There are several offenses that a pregnant woman can commit that may be annoying everyone around her. I know I’m guilty of many of the below because being pregnant can downright suck and sometimes, it makes an otherwise sane and rational person anything but. Check out all of the ways your pregnancy is annoying everyone:
1. You won’t stop complaining.
I know. I knowwww. It sucks being nauseous and it’s awful to have a sweaty crotch and constant Braxton Hicks and having to pee every six minutes. Believe me, I am with you. But your friends and acquaintances likely are not. They only want to hear about the rosy parts of pregnancy and that you are feeling “great”!
2. The baby’s name and gender are being kept secret even though you know both.
You have every right to withhold this information but maybe it is best to tell everyone else that you also do not have any idea because when you tell people you know the gender and name but are not telling anyone it doesn’t usually go over well.
3. You are throwing a gender reveal party.
This is relatively new in the world of pregnancy trends and is quickly gaining ground as one of the more annoying things a pregnant couple can do. It’s seen as gift-grabby by some and by others, it’s just an inconvenience to have to attend yet another party celebrating your offspring. I personally thought they were pretty lame until a woman I work with brought us cupcakes full of blue ooze to let us all know she was having a boy. Cupcakes make basically any situation palatable so to stay in everyone’s good graces, maybe just invite them to a Cupcake Party instead.
4. They don’t like the list of rules you made for visiting your baby once it arrives.
Look, I understand that this is all your show- you have every right to have people visit and hold your infant on your own terms. However, I think most of your friends and family can do without the Facebook statuses telling them they will all know about your little one’s arrival when you are damn good and ready. They could probably also do without the reminders to wash hands and to not wear cologne and perfume.
5. Your shower invites include registry info.
This is a great way to ruffle the feathers of all the etiquette experts in your life! If you include registry info in your shower invite be prepared to offend some people who prefer not to be told what gifts to bring the new mother-to-be.
Expect some hushed exchanges during your shower while people discuss why you think your baby needs seven $50 Baby Nike track suits instead of burp cloths and pacifiers. Bitches be gossiping!
7. You’ve whined about being angry that someone stole your baby name.
As we have said on Mommyish before, no one owns a name. However, if you have been vocal about liking a particular name and a close friend or family member nabs it before your bun is out of the oven, that truly does suck. That said, people will still be annoyed if you complain about it because really, no one owns a name.
8. You’ve posted incessantly about your pregnancy on social media.
Don’t be surprised to discover that people have un-friended or ignored you during your obsessively documented 9-month journey. If you have posted near-daily Instagram belly pics along with ultrasound photos and updates on your every bout of heartburn then you’ve probably earned those social media conscious uncouplings.
9. You’ve cut your partner’s balls off.
I’ve seen it happen many times. If you decide that since you are pregnant and cannot drink that now your husband is not allowed to have any beer then, yeah….it might make people think you are a controlling douchecanoe. Same goes if you make him stop his weekly golf foursome so you have a partner to stroll the aisles of Babies R Us.
10. You won’t just have the darn baby already!
This may be the only one on the list that isn’t a new mom’s fault but it will annoy everyone nevertheless that your Facebook feed is devoid of baby arrival info day after day.