8 Ways Running A Half Marathon Is Like Losing Your Virginity
I ran my very first half marathon a couple weeks ago and I’m still processing the experience. Even though the race was in Walt Disney World, so there was lots to see, going 13.1 miles gives you plenty of time to think and reflect on what you’re doing and how you feel about it. As I started running I was surprised by the mix of emotions I was feeling. A few miles in I had an epiphany that hit me in the face like the cup of water thrown by that douchy guy in front of me– running a half marathon is just like losing your virginity.
1. You’re going to be nervous.
You can study the course map until you’ve memorized it or read all the How To internet articles you want, but those minutes before you actually start are always going to make your heart race.
2. Your body might not look the way you envisioned it would.
I thought that training for my race would help me be svelte by the time the big day rolled around, but there is a thing called post run hunger (aka runger) and it was not satisfied until it had sweet, delicious carbs. But in the end, how I looked didn’t matter, what mattered is that I had trained and was physically ready to run. It’s the same with having sex. It doesn’t matter if your body looks like a porn star’s or not, what matters is that you feel ready to do it.
3. You’re going to be sore the next day.
Even if you take it easy and try not to push yourself too hard, running great distances and your first time can leave you feeling it afterwards. Ice packs, warm showers, drinking plenty of water and rest are helpful in both scenarios.
4. You will enjoy it more if you use lube.
Friction is not your friend, whether it’s coming from your partner or your sports bra. Lubricating for sex and running covers many of the same body parts– down below, around the bra area– though it’s a special kind of person that would lube up the feet before getting busy between the sheets.