10-Year-Old Chef’s NSFW ‘Unicorn Sausages’ Take Food Porn To A Hilarious New Level
As parents, we must support our children’s passions. If our kids are into art, we take them to museums and put their pictures on the refrigerator. If our kids are obsessed with Pokemon Go, we drive them around to catch the nearest Vaporeon and Google “Pikachu nest near me.” And if our kids are passionate about cooking, we let them make dinner and promise to eat it without laughing, even if it winds up looking like a plate full of penises.
That’s what happened to UK mom Sarah Adamson recently, when her 10-year-old invented “Unicorn Sausages” for dinner, and it’s the most NSFW food you’ll ever see.
“Tonight my 10-year-old cooked unicorn sausages for dinner,” she wrote alongside a photo of a pair of enormous, greasy, heavy brown sausages rising from a nest of what looks like Yorkshire Pudding. “Should I Instagram with a recipe?”
That 10-year-old’s unicorn sausages have earned a place of honor in the museum of Kids’ Art that Looks Like Penises. Somehow, they look more obscene than anything you could buy from an erotic cake factory, or intentionally make with your trusty penis cake pan. Maybe it’s the heft, or the greasiness of it.
These unicorn sausages are painfully hilarious, because you just know that 10-year-old has no idea what these look like, or why mom is cry-laughing at them.
I have no poker face. If my kid brought me these, I would be dying.
“No, no, they look delicious, sweetie! Mommy’s just crying because she’s proud of you,” I’d say while snorting and hiccoughing through tears. “They’re beautiful! Go show daddy. Then let’s FaceTime grandma.”
These aren’t the first accidental culinary penises, and they won’t be the last.
This sort of thing happens to adults all the time. Like the mom who tried to make a bunch of cookies that look like the number one, and Pinterest failed her way into a giant tray of blue-frosted dicks.
Good for that kid at making Yorkshire puddings, though! And honestly, adding sausage is not a terrible idea. That 10-year-old has a future in the kitchen. I hope Adamson sends this photo to Gordon Ramsay. The world definitely needs to hear what he thinks about them.
Would you eat these unicorn sausages? And could you do it without laughing? Let us know in the comments.
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(Image: Twitter / @Scrumppreserves)