Pregnancy

If These Photos Make You Want To Be A Pregnant Mermaid, Raise Your Hand

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I was not what you would call a pretty pregnant person. Some ladies are lucky enough to appear like they are holding watermelons under their shirts when pregnant, while others like me find that pregnancy swelling makes you feel and look like Violet Beauregarde after she eats that forbidden piece of gum.

For those of us who found pregnancy to be not our best time photo-wise, the ingenious photographer Adam Opris has taken the pregnant woman’s credo of “I feel like a whale” to heart and has come up with a way to make you feel like the beautiful pregnant goddess you always wanted to me.

I present to you: Mermaid Moms

mermaid mom redFine, so Opris doesn’t actually call them mermaid mom shoots, but I am a child of the 90s. I grew up singing Part of Your World while swimming in the pool for hours on end, all while trying so hard to copy that move Ariel does when she thrusts herself up on to the rocks right as the waves crash around her and the song comes to a crescendo. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

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36 Comments

  1. Samwisegamgeeeisthebesthobbit

    October 21, 2014 at 11:22 am

    These pictures are so very beautiful but there is no way you could have gotten me half naked in pool for photos. I’m pretty sure my cankles and swollen face would still show up in a picture underwater. Doesn’t water magnify? Nope. No way.

  2. Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

    October 21, 2014 at 11:24 am

    How the fuck do they look so gorgeous in these pictures??? I don’t look that good in a pool normally, let alone with all the swelling and bloating and discombulation of being pregnant…

    • Spongeworthy

      October 21, 2014 at 12:21 pm

      Photoshop.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      October 21, 2014 at 12:58 pm

      But…the hair….can you Photoshop that hair?? And, on a related note, how do I apply Photoshop to like, every day, all day, in real life, and not just photographs?

    • Spongeworthy

      October 21, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      I think the only way is to ask everyone else to look at you through eyes that are half-closed. It’s like an Instagram filter.

    • candyvines

      October 21, 2014 at 1:33 pm

      Or have them smear Vaseline in their eyes.

    • Spongeworthy

      October 21, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      Why waste Vaseline? Go full-on crunchy mom and just spray breast milk in everyone’s eyes!

    • LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

      October 21, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      Yep! It will also miraculously cure any case of pink eye they might have. (I totally want to try this when my baby had pink eye because getting the ointment in his eyes was a nightmare. Alas, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.)

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      October 21, 2014 at 5:59 pm

      I’m going to try that and see how long it takes for my family to try to have me committed. 🙂

    • Kitsune

      October 21, 2014 at 2:46 pm

      A mix of lighting, angles, and photoshop. I have no idea about underwater lighting but I’m always amazed at what a good photographer can do with lighting.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      October 21, 2014 at 5:57 pm

      It’s the underwater that has me flummoxed, because of the havoc it would wreak with the lighting.

  3. LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

    October 21, 2014 at 11:30 am

    These pictures are amazing and I am normally someone who 1058% hates maternity pictures. Now I have to get pregnant and then go to FL so I can get these sexy mermaid pictures taken.

  4. Samantha Escobar

    October 21, 2014 at 11:33 am

    I get kind of bored by most pregnancy photos posted online (I get it, that was you at 14 weeks and now you’re 16 WEEKS GOOD JOB), but I understand why people take them for themselves and their families. These, on the other hand, should be shared foreveerrrr!!

    And should totally be on America’s Next Top Pregnant Lady.

    • Megan

      October 21, 2014 at 11:36 am

      But how will Tyra ” show them how it’s done?!”

    • guest

      October 21, 2014 at 11:50 am

      Smile with your EYES!!!!

    • candyvines

      October 21, 2014 at 11:52 am

      Smize, even.

    • LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

      October 21, 2014 at 12:42 pm

      I love when she chews them out for having an expressionless face, and then demonstrates their face versus her more emotive face and they look totally the same.

    • Samantha Escobar

      October 21, 2014 at 11:58 am

    • PAJane

      October 21, 2014 at 4:18 pm

      The fact that they’re pregnant tells me they’ve already figured out how to do it.

  5. Spongeworthy

    October 21, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    I think this would have been more my style.
    http://www.palmpressinc.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/3100.jpg

    • LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

      October 21, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      She doesn’t have a beer in her hand, but I do love the water wings for safety.

    • Spongeworthy

      October 21, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      Safety first!

    • jonezora

      October 21, 2014 at 2:33 pm

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  6. Kitsune

    October 21, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    I hated moving while pregnant due to joint pain but I totally would’ve loved a photoshoot like this. Soothing water while someone finds a way to make me look like a gorgeous pregnant mermaid, yes please. I don’t think this is as easy to do in New England though.

    • LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

      October 21, 2014 at 1:11 pm

      Just wear a dry suit to keep from getting hypothermic and all is well (though it would be decidedly less mermaid-y).

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      October 21, 2014 at 1:16 pm

      But decidedly more Scuba Steve-e. Which would be awesome.

    • Spongeworthy

      October 21, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      I’d love to see a New England attempt. Getting a good shot without freezing to death, avoiding stepping on all the rocks, and not getting tangled up in a metric ton of seaweed. And after its all done, the lovely smell of the tide.
      I love the New England beaches, but yea, not the best for mermaid maternity pics.

  7. Cindy Ailey

    October 21, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    But aren’t these photos “glamourizing” pregnancy? Where’s the photos of the woman carrying around a pee jug all day and stashing it in a cooler under her desk at work? How about a photo of a severely pregnant woman’s swollen ankles? Or maybe a pregnant woman tossing and turning all night long trying to find a comfortable sleep position.

    Just sayin.

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      October 21, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      I take it you’re referencing the posts lately about breatsfeeding being glamorized? Here’s the thing, though. Pregnancy is not a thing that is being pushed or advocated for in any real way, unless you count your Aunt Eunice’s annoying questions as advocacy. Breastfeeding, is, however being advocated for, and if that is the case, you need to give women a real idea of what it’s going to be like for them to have a chance at being successful at it. I know so many women who gave up because it hurts or it was hard, or any of a million things that get pushed under the carpet when saying “breast is best.” That’s what the authors have been talking about, and it doesn’t really apply here. False equivilancy – just sayin.

    • Cindy Ailey

      October 21, 2014 at 1:20 pm

      I disagree that motherhood isn’t something is pushed or advocated for in any way.

      My point though, beside just being a joke, was that these photos are glamourizing pregnancy. They are JUST LIKE the photos women have taken of themselves nursing their children. If it’s OK for a woman to pay for a photo like this of herself, why is it somehow not OK for a woman to pay to have artsy fartsy photos taken of herself nursing her child?

      Not everything is a political statement.

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      October 21, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      I explained how they’re different. And, while everything is not a political statement, the other article was written in the context of political issues, so…

    • Cindy Ailey

      October 21, 2014 at 6:13 pm

      Except that your explanation falls totally flat. You can’t say that pregnancy is not being pushed or advocated for when people stand in front of Planned Parenthood everyday to harass women going inside.

      I can’t even list all the ways in which thousands of people everyday are fighting for actual policy changes that would make it harder for a woman to NOT be pregnant.

      As far as I know, no one is trying to make formula illegal.

      I really never meant to start a debate here. Just pointing out the similarities in style between these types of photos. Personally I don’t like the saccharine sweet glamour maternity/nursing shots. Not my style. But I definitely don’t think people shouldn’t take them.

    • LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

      October 21, 2014 at 2:39 pm

      Well, I don’t think any woman really wants to commission portraits of herself looking her worst, so that is probably why those kinds of portraits aren’t a thing. I mean, when I was pregnant, I wouldn’t have needed to pay someone to make me look swollen and miserable because I was swollen and miserable. However, looking like some sort of other-worldy mermaid? Not something I could achieve on my own and TOTALLY something I would want to do.

  8. Elizabeth Wakefield

    October 21, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    I can’t wait for the Pinterest-fails for these pictures…

  9. js argh

    October 21, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    Finally! Something good happened in Florida! Yaaay! #notashamedtolivehereforthedurationofthisarticle

  10. WarriorMermaids

    October 21, 2014 at 5:04 pm

    If I were a professional photographer, I’d totally be doing underwater shots. As it stands, I have a small Fujifilm camera I use to take photos of my friends at the pool. Hey, it’s a start…

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