Cops Bust Up Hard Partying Teen Party, Allegedly Find Hard Partying Mom Peeing On Herself

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liquorCops who make the rounds on these boozy teenage parties probably know the drill. Pull up, rap on the door, and enter a boozy wonderland where 15-year-olds are taking their first stab at rum and cokes. Maybe you find a 13-year-old sibling who tagged along for the ride. Cue stolen liquor and clanky beer bottles. Maybe even some poor youngin’ already craning over the toilet. But when Florida police officers reportedly arrived at a Palm Beach residence to bust up some teenage underage drinking, they also happened upon a 39-year-old mother who was allegedly boozing herself. Is this becoming the latest staple of the underage drinking scene now? The “cool mom”?

The Huffington Post reports that cops of the Palm Beach Shores Police Department encountered grownup and parent Kimberly Clark Kiernan. Not only was mom allegedly hosting a spectacular underage booze fest for 26 minors in her own condominium (one of them is reportedly her own teenage son), but her 7-year-old was also in attendance. Kind of. The child was reportedly locked in a bedroom during the festivities because nothing hinders a Cool Mom’s coolness like a 7-year-old who is complaining about people vomiting in his bathroom.

After neighbors called to complain about the party, police discovered the following scene:

Mixed among the scattered beer and liquor bottles across the floor, police said they found a girl, 16, choking on her vomit in a restroom. She was treated at St. Mary’s Hospital…Finding the mom so intoxicated that she urinated on herself, police called the Department of Children & Families Emergency Hotline after kicking in a door to free the child, according to the report.

Kiernan has been charged with making a false report, cruelty toward a child, 26 counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and don’t forget resisting an officer. Mom denies that she was drinking in the first place, because that’s what Cool Moms do.

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(Points to the first reader who can properly identify the slut-shaming in this news segment!)

(photo: monticello/ Shutterstock)


  1. Amber

    July 8, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    This is nothing new. Scumbags have been breeding just as long as decent people.

  2. Véronique Houde

    July 8, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    yup. totally don’t get why it’s important to point out the super tightness of her white shirt… 😉

    • Véronique Houde

      July 8, 2013 at 11:08 pm

      I win! 😀

    • Koa_Beck

      July 9, 2013 at 10:11 am

      COOKIES for you!

    • Véronique Houde

      July 9, 2013 at 10:12 am

      YAYYY! I choose chocolate chip please 😀

  3. Paul White

    July 9, 2013 at 12:02 am

    Maybe kids today are different than when I was growing up, but I don’t think pissing yourself makes them think you’re cool.

    • KB

      July 9, 2013 at 10:03 am

      “You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants!”

  4. LiteBrite

    July 9, 2013 at 9:32 am

    “Kiernan has been charged with making a false report, cruelty toward a
    child, 26 counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and
    don’t forget resisting an officer.”

    I wonder how “cool” Kiernan feels now.

  5. helloshannon

    July 9, 2013 at 10:43 am

    her tshirt has nothing to do with how shitty of a mom she is.

  6. Kat

    July 9, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    And that’s why I always tell my kids, “I don’t care if you like me.” It’s not my job to be liked. It’s my job to keep my kids safe.

  7. Brooke T.

    July 22, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    The ignornce of people these days.ignorance

  8. Chris Sorochin

    July 26, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    Most parents were “cool” when I was growing up and I don’t recall any 7-year-old kid ever being locked in a bathroom. As I recall, if such kids were present, they wee sequestered in another part of the house.

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