Unbearable: I’m Starting Natural Fertility Treatments – And They’re Gross
Having a child is usually a happy time in a woman’s life. Unfortunately, as we wait longer to have children, infertility and trouble conceiving can become a part of the family making process. Unbearable addresses these difficulties.
I have to admit, there are some perks to writing for a living. First of all, I’m laying on my couch right now, partially spooning my with black lab as I type. For another, I can get up and make myself a snack whenever the mood strikes. And also, I sometimes have companies send me free stuff to try. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, I’m thrilled. Really, who doesn’t love free stuff?
Unfortunately, BeeFertile, a company that makes natural fertility supplements, is probably going to regret sending me a huge pack of their products. Because let me tell you, the experience of actually taking these things was not pleasant.
The BeeFertile system contains vitamin and mineral supplements in the form of enormous horse pills, as well as a concoction called “Royal Jelly.” The first time I took my four supplements a day, I was afraid to do it alone in the house. I was pretty positive that one of these massive pills was going to get lodged in my throat. I warned my Twitter followers to call 911 if I didn’t sent out a confirmation tweet that I had managed to swallow all four. I walked away feeling like my throat had been violated.
Then there’s this “Jelly” business. It’s a lot like really thick, dark brown honey. Think of the very worst sticky, sweet medicine you were ever given as a child. Now make it thick and brown. That’s what “Royal Jelly” is.
Even better than the struggles to consume this daily regimen were the effects on my digestive system. I described it to my friend as coating your stomach with a thick mixture of glue and lead. I knelt at my desk for a couple hours after taking my supplements because it really hurt to bend at the waist.
I do not think that this was the review BeeFertile was hoping for.
But you want to know the most ridiculous part of this nonsense? I’m still going to keep taking the supplements. I’m going to continue to feel like I’m digesting broken glass everyday, and I’m going to do it on purpose. No, I didn’t sign a contract saying that I would see the process through to the end. (If we had gotten into contracts, I’m pretty sure I would’ve been forbidden from describing the product as ‘gross.’)
I’m going to keep taking these natural fertility treatments because I know someone that they worked for. Now, anyone can argue that this woman got pregnant simply because the time was right for her, not because she took the supplements. They can say that she would’ve gotten pregnant anyways. And maybe that’s true.
However, for a woman who has been trying to have a child for two years, the chance that there’s something that could possibly help is too much to turn down. If three months from now I find out that I’m pregnant, the horse pills and royal jelly will have all been worth it. If the end result is a baby, who cares about a little abdominal discomfort?
Yes, my natural fertility supplements are no walk in the park. Assisted reproduction is rarely a fun and pleasurable experience. But we’re all going to keep trying. Couples struggling with infertility will do anything to have a child, including swallowing horse pills and eating thick, brown honey by the spoonful. Here’s hoping it works out.