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UCLA Freshman Finds Great Way To Tell Her Roommates She’s Going To Be Awful To Live With

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 (Winnie Chen has a terrible roommate, but great eye makeup)

School hasn’t even started yet, and one UCLA freshman is already famous on the Internet for being the worst college roommate anybody has ever seen. This woman has been sending her future roommates a list of demands and orders that are positively mind-blowing, and the roommates have responded by posting her terrible emails to Twitter. Class doesn’t start for a week, and there’s already more drama in this room than on the entire run of The Hills. If someone hasn’t offered these kids a reality TV show by now, I’ll be honestly astounded.

According to People — because this roommate drama is so crazy it is actually running in the press alongside Renee Zellweger and Kim Kardashian– 17-year-old Winnie Chen and 18-year-old Guistinna Tun were making plans to move into their shared room at UCLA in a couple weeks when they got a doozy of an email from their third roommate, Ashly.

Ashly is pretty intense. She starts the email aggressive right out of the gate, insisting that the other girls have been rude and ignoring her–Winnie says they commenced conversation on Tuesday afternoon, and the crazy email came Thursday morning. Nobody was ignoring Ashly. Then she lays down the law about what exactly she is going to be taking when she walks into the room, and how she will stand for no lip from her roommates.

“Okay, so I’m not sure why neither of you responded back to my emails, but I don’t really care, just as long as you both know this and understand that I’m not gonna settle for anything less than what I’m gonna tell you that I’m gonna get once I arrive in the dorm,” she wrote. “I’ll take the top bunk of the bunk bed that has a bottom and top bunk. I DO NOT want the single bunk where it has a desk underneath the top bunk so don’t try to leave me with that.”

“I’m also taking one of the white closets. There should be two white closets and I’m taking one of them. I don’t care for which one it is, just know I’m taking one of them.”

“I want the desk that’s near the window. Plain and simple. I don’t care about who gets the bottom bunk but just know what I stated above is what I’m expecting once I arrive at the dorm and I won’t be in the mood for any arguing or other nonsense because one of you two decided to deliberately disregard this email. If needed be I’ll turn it into a bigger situation so don’t try me.”

“Sorry but not that sorry for the attitude. I don’t like being ignored because that’s just rude but that’s what you both decided to do so I decided to make it clear now on the kind of person I am and what I will and will not take.”

“So as a final reminder: I am getting the top bunk of the bunk bed with the bed on the bottom. I am getting one of the white closest, and I’m getting the desk near the window. that’s fair enough to ask for considering that I’m giving up fighting for the bottom bunk.”

 

Geez. When I showed up at the dorm, my roommate had already picked her bed. She got there first, so I took the other one. It was fine.

Ashly seems to have been expecting her new roommates to roll over and do what she wants, but Winnie and Guistinna were not having it. Winnie posted Ashly’s deranged email to Twitter where everyone could see it along with the headline, “My roommate that I haven’t even met yet.”

Meanwhile, Giustinna fired back her own email, matching Ashly barb for barb.

 

Guistinna is masterful at this. If Ashly’s the unstoppable force, Guistinnna is the immovable object. She manages to maintain the high ground–not difficult to do, considering that Ashly is standing in a pit of crazy and won’t stop digging–while being just as assertive as Ashly. She declares she won’t allow anyone to speak to her or Winnie like that, thus casting herself in the role of towering defender. She’s not engaging in petty roommate drama, she’s standing up for herself and her friend. She tells Ashly off for being demanding, entitled, and out of line, but says she and WInnie are very chill, drama-free people and are willing to start over again if Ashly wants to try.

The fact that she ends the email with, “p.s. I’m fine with the top bunk with the desk underneath it.” is perfect. It’s like the college freshman version of that scene in Rob Roy when a guy challenges Liam Neeson to a duel to first blood, and Liam Neeson reaches over and cuts himself on the guy’s sword, then says, “You win,” and goes back to what he was doing. She “loses” by taking the top bunk, but wins by making Ashly look even pettier.

But does anybody think Ashly is the type to let someone else have the last word? No, she is not.

Luckily for us, Winnie continued to chronicle the drama for the ages. Because Ashly basically wrote back saying that yes, she was out of line and rude and awful, but that Guistinna shouldn’t have snarked back at her.

“While I stepped out of line with my attitude, you throwing it right back along with other snarky unnecessary comments is just fighting fire with fire,” wrote Ashly, who is about to be canonized as the Patron Saint of People Who Can Dish It Out But Can’t Take It. “I’m mature enough to put out the fire myself once I see it spreading, but other people aren’t so I don’t think that was necessarily the right way to handle the situation.”

…As you can see from my previous email, I am like a ticking time bomb that sets off when certain things I don’t like happen to me. I went far with the assumptions that you both were ignoring me, but I wasn’t “playing the victim,” I truly believed I was being ignored because of how I was looking at the situation. My mind trails elsewhere when I’m not catching it on the tracks.

I’m an over analyzer which leads to over thinking at times. I do have anger issues that has only been going off recently because of personal stuff, one of the major ones being I’m leaving home to go miles away. If that scares you then you can request another roommate. I have a low tolerance for a lot of things and my patience level isn’t high at all. Those are three things I’ve been working on and plan on working on it while in college too since it’s one of the best times to grow and develop into who you want to be.

 

 

Winnie and Guistinna reportedly asked UCLA for a new housing assignment, but were not given one.

“Housing never responded to my request, so I am stuck with the Ticking Time Bomb,” Winnie quipped on Twitter.

The housing department might not have responded, but they damn sure know about all this. The entire UCLA housing department has definitely read this email exchange. I bet they’re all chatting about it over lunch.

All three of these girls are going to be famous by the time they get to campus. Everybody is going to be running around looking for the Ticking Time Bomb, Guistinna the queen bee, and Winnie, the funny girl who has all the gossip.

These girls need a webcam. Or a reality TV show. Immediately. And Ashly’s going to need a T-shirt that says “Ticking Time Bomb,” because the only way she’s going to get in front of that nickname is to own it. It’s her “Prostitution Whore!” moment.

Also, it sounds like Winnie just got herself the coveted bottom bunk, and a couple thousand new Twitter followers.

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