10 Types of Sex You’ll Have Once You’re a Parent
6. Date night sex.
A few childless hours plus that glass of pinot you had with dinner makes you feel carefree and fun. Be careful, this is how siblings get made.
7. Date night nonsex.
The kids went to a sleepover at grandma’s house and you opened a bottle of wine in front of the fireplace in hopes of fanning the flames of love. Instead you got a little tipsy and warm and woke up snoring together on the couch.
8. The planned sex.
You realized it’s been a while since you’ve had the adult time, so you shaved your legs and put on non-cotton underwear. You don’t care what’s on Netflix or how long it takes the kids to fall asleep; tonight it’s on, no matter what.
9. We’re tired but let’s do it anyway sex.
The comfortable, routine sex of the couple who’s been together long enough to know how to get the job done without needing any fanfare or bells and whistles.
10. Sex, interrupted.
You’re in the middle of things when you think you hear a noise from the baby monitor, so you pause to listen. Hearing nothing, you resume activities. Just when you’re getting back into the swing of things, you think you hear something again. This pattern repeats until the baby really does start crying or you’ve both lost your focus on each other in favor of the baby monitor. Better luck next time.
(image: Maridav/Shutterstock.com; originally published Apr 4, 2015)