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New Research Says Online Dating Sites Actually Work, I Believe It Because I Make All My Friends Online Now

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shutterstock_143704990__1382473724_142.196.156.251I somehow managed to miss the whole online dating ship. My current relationship of seven years and last relationship of five butted right up against each other. Twelve years ago, people weren’t really using dating sites like they are now. It wasn’t something that even crossed my mind. Today, one in ten Americans have used an online dating site, and of those one in ten, twenty-three percent have met a spouse or long term partner.

I used to think the concept of meeting someone online was totally weird. I insisted you needed to be face-to-face with someone to see if you are actually compatible. I was completely wrong about that. I can’t speak to making romantic relationships online, but ever since I started writing on the Internet I have made friends who I am certain I am compatible with – and these are all people I have never met face-to-face.

My editor, Eve Vawter, is one of them. We’ve been “talking” on Skype every week for the last year. Yes, a lot of it is work-related, but we gossip and tell stories about our children and make fun of people. She sends my kids gifts on their birthdays. I certainly consider her a friend – a really good one. I have no idea what she looks like. I’d probably walk right by her in the street because I’ve only seen a couple pictures of her.

Similarly, there are fellow bloggers I have come to know and love simply through their writing. There are readers who I am certain I would be fast friends with if we met in person. Now that I am living in a state where I have yet to make friends, most of my socializing is done in this capacity. I feel like I have friends, even though I don’t actually “know” any of these people.

So I finally get it. Years of not understanding how you could possibly meet, fall in love and build a family with someone that you met online all came to an end when I started socializing with people online myself. Disqus should start a dating site. Seriously. I would know in a second if I wanted to go on a date with someone by reading the last 10 comments they made.

(photo: Syda/ Shutterstock)

26 Comments

  1. ChopChick

    October 22, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    I’m actually marrying the man I met online (on the Craigslist personals, to up the ante a bit) in January and it’s been 5 years since we met! Go internet go!

    • Andrea

      October 22, 2013 at 5:43 pm

      It actually still kinda blows my mind. Ten years ago, this was unheard of and most people probably thought you were insane if you went to meet someone you knew on the “internetz”. But now, everyone knows couples who met online. I think it’s awesome.

    • Blueathena623

      October 22, 2013 at 8:46 pm

      Haha. I met my husband almost 10 years ago on Match.com

    • Andrea

      October 22, 2013 at 9:03 pm

      You were a front runner!

    • AlexMMR

      October 22, 2013 at 10:46 pm

      Me too!

    • Amber Starr

      October 22, 2013 at 9:15 pm

      That’s awesome! Congrats to you both!

  2. Andrea

    October 22, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    In re: online friendships. I have made MANY friends online. Through online communities, I have met amazing people I never would have had the chance to meet otherwise. But (yes there is a BUT), honey, you need to make some friends to do stuff with outside the house! I know it is VERY VERY hard to do when you don’t know a soul in your community, but the rewards are worth it!

    • Maria Guido

      October 22, 2013 at 9:23 pm

      You are preaching to the congregation. I absolutely agree with you.

  3. Tea

    October 22, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    I met my partner online when I was 15, we’ve been together 9 years now. We moved to CT for gay rights and to be near our closest friends, who we also met online. Most of our friends are still online, since he works in a very masculine field (Automotive).
    It’s just been second nature to this awkward geek.

    • Amber Starr

      October 22, 2013 at 9:16 pm

      That’s such an awesome story! 🙂 Wishing you both many more happy years!

  4. Rachel Sea

    October 22, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    I maintain most of my friendships online now, and quite a lot of people that I have made a casual acquaintance with in peron, I have made friends with online. Few of my friends live within a worknight’s drive, so if it weren’t for the internet, I would never speak to them. No one is out of sight, and therefore out of mind, anymore. I have only a tiny community of people in person, most of the year, but my online community is enormous.

  5. Blueathena623

    October 22, 2013 at 8:47 pm

    If I weren’t already taken (by a guy I met online almost a decade ago) there are about 15 mommyish commenters I would marry in a snap.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      October 22, 2013 at 8:53 pm

      I was just thinking that! 🙂

  6. LadyClodia

    October 22, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    My husband and I just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary this past Wednesday, and we met online in a scifi chatroom. It wasn’t a dating site, so it was sort of unexpected, and I’m sure that most of our friends and family thought we were crazy. Before kids, the majority of my friends were online, although I’d met a lot of them in person at least once after I met them online. So getting close with people I’ve never met in person is sort of normal for me I guess.

  7. Amber Starr

    October 22, 2013 at 9:14 pm

    My fiance (and soon-to-be baby daddy) & I met on OK Cupid. All of the creepy messages, all of the bad dates, all of the propositions for “discreet humpins” were worth it the second I met this amazing man. 10 years ago, I would have been hesitant to tell people, especially my family, that I had met the man of my dreams online, but now… it ain’t no big thang.

    Congrats to everyone here who found their special someones in whatever way they were lucky enough to find them. To those who are still lookin’, don’t give up! <3

    Also, in the short time that I've been here, I've read comments and articles by folks who are simply fabulous! You guys really are awesome.

  8. Kim

    October 22, 2013 at 11:49 pm

    I met my husband online. Its funny how people still have a weird reaction to finding it out, I’ve even been asked if it’s “Weird having an online relationship” – after we got married and while I was pregnant. Funny stuff.

  9. Jallun-Keatres

    October 23, 2013 at 2:26 am

    I’m naming my daughter my favorite name… a name I grew to love as it was in the username of my first online gaming “best friend.”

  10. Edify

    October 23, 2013 at 6:13 am

    I met my husband on Facebook. 5 years, a move across the country and 2 kids later…

  11. alice

    October 23, 2013 at 8:49 am

    Found my future husband on OKCupid after a late night, drunk, laptop-in-bed, keyword search for “tattoos”

  12. allisonjayne

    October 23, 2013 at 9:46 am

    I indirectly met my wife online. I met her through my best friend at the time, who I’d met online (I can’t recall exactly where online we met, but it was due to both of us wanting to set up a Riot Grrrl chapter in our city). So I met my wife at a make-out party thrown by that friend. And they originally met through another friend, whom they’d both met online.

  13. Shea

    October 23, 2013 at 10:10 am

    I met my boyfriend of 2 years on OKCupid. Online dating was great for me, since I’m not terribly social and generally dislike going out to the sorts of places where one normally meets people. BF is the same way, so it worked out well for both of us!

  14. Janok Place

    October 23, 2013 at 10:32 am

    I met DH at a bar, how is that any less tacky then online? Internet is a fantastic resource and it’s wonderful when it’s used like this!

  15. BubbleyToes

    October 23, 2013 at 10:54 am

    When my husband was deployed to Iraq for a year, I stumbled upon a support website for army wives. I met some of the best friends I have ever had and ever will have online. I will probably never meet these women in person, but we got each other through a very difficult time and I will love them forever. We are still close, years later. You can totes make meaningful connections online.

  16. Eve Vawter

    October 23, 2013 at 10:55 am

    You guys are all my BFFs. I was wondering how we could do a Mommyish secret santa or som’m .

  17. LiteBrite

    October 23, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    I met my husband on Match.com. We’ve been together for 11 years, married for 9 (as of today actually). I also have several friends on FB that I met through a consumer forum years ago. I’ve never met them in person, but I feel like I’ve known them forever (because I sort of have).

  18. DatNanny

    October 24, 2013 at 1:43 am

    My partner and I tell everyone we met “through friends” and, well, we did… it just happened on Facebook. We had mutual friends, but didn’t know one another at all; he sent me a request after seeing some entertaining comments I posted on a mutual friend’s page and wanting to compliment my Batgirl cosplay that was my profile picture at the time.

    We laugh about it, because meeting your partner through Facebook seems supremely lame. But I believe completely in online friendships – my best friend in the world lives across the country, we’ve only spoken on the phone once, but we talk online every single day, and have for years now; she probably knows me better than my partner.

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