8 Things I Didn’t Know About Traveling With Kids (With Gifs!)
Summer is here, and for the Locke family that means one thing; traveling. Not fancy-pants, resort vacation traveling, mind you. Nope, just regular, driving-eight-hours-to-see-family traveling, which isn’t nearly as relaxing or fun. Especially when you have three kids under the age of 10. This summer has been especially eventful, and it’s not even July yet. I’ve learned so much about traveling with kids that I could be a fucking Kid Traveling Specialist. So sit back, grab a drank (preferably a boozy one) and learn from my mistakes.
8. There are only so many times you can play “I Spy” before you want to throat punch yourself
You know that phenomenon where you read or say a word too many times and you suddenly don’t recognize it anymore? Well after playing “I Spy” exactly 25 times, this happens to the world. The. Entire. World.
8. Mobile Mommy Shame is a thing
Apparently you CAN mommy shame someone while still driving a car at 65 miles-per-hour. Who knew? Thanks, lady-who-gave-me-stank-face for yelling at my fighting kids, you sure showed me!
6. Vomit bags aren’t just for airplanes
I learned this lesson the hard way after 300 miles and approximately five clothing changes later. Oh, and my car still smells like a mixture of chili and curdled milk. Good times!
5. You simply cannot take too many bathroom breaks…
Who manages to stop exactly 15 times during what should have been a five-hour car ride? THIS GAL!
4. …but you CAN manage to tune out three small people crying for an hour!
Especially when you’ve gotten to the point where you’ve stopped a million times, fed them, AC’s been on, off and on again, fed them AGAIN and nothing, I mean NOTHING has helped.
3. There aren’t enough books in the world to entertain three kids for five hours…
…let alone the 12 (YES, 12!) hours that the trip actually took us.
2. Apparently I’m not above buying a portable DVD player for my kids on the fly
Judge me all you want, sanctimommies, but my new, portable babysitter works like a charm.
1. Blasting Nirvana at the highest volume possible does nothing to stop toddler rage
My 10-year-old loved it, however.