13 Things We’re Told We Need for a Baby That Are Flat Out Lies
Setting up a baby registry when you’re expecting can be incredibly overwhelming. There are so many baby products to choose from, and every item looks important to an inexperienced new parent. But we’re here to let you in on a little secret — a lot of baby gear is bullshit. Babies actually don’t require very much to be happy. Skip these 13 useless baby products and save your cash for diapers.
1. Baby shoes
Babies don’t walk for at LEAST the first six months of their lives (please don’t @ me about your gifted baby), so shoes are little more than decorative. Try to resist spending your hard-earned cash on infant kicks, no matter how cute they are.
2. Stuffed animals
Are they cute? Yes. Will your kid LOVE them later? Of course! But stuffed animals are not safe to put in a crib, so cool it on the stuffies until your kiddo is a bit older.
3. Designer sheets
Spending a lot of money on sheets that will, at some point, get stained by throw up, pee, or a blowout diaper is not a good use of your dough. Get several affordable fitted sheets, unless you enjoy doing laundry several times a day.
4. Wipes warmer
I’m sure that if you live in a cold climate a wipes warmer sounds appealing. But it’s so unnecessary. Your baby can handle the temperature of a wet wipe, I promise.
5. Pee-Pee Teepee
A pee-pee teepee is a little shield you put on your son’s penis when you change his diaper, juuuust in case he decides he wants to pee all over you. But, I’m sorry to tell you, they don’t work well and are pretty disgusting. You could spend money on these and wash them every time they get peed on, or you can just throw a (room temperature) baby wipe your baby’s junk. If you ask me, the wipe is much easier.
6. Changing table
When I say changing table, I mean a piece of furniture that is only used to change diapers. Just attach a changing pad to a waist-high dresser and you’ll save a ton of space — not to mention money.
7. High chair
Like a changing table in the nursery, a high chair will take up precious space in your kitchen. There are some great chairs that attach to regular chairs or clip onto tables that work exactly like a high chair without wasting your square footage.
8. Diaper Genie
If you like to leave used diapers sitting in your home for days before throwing them out, you could use one of these. Or you can take your trash out regularly and not leave a stink bomb in your baby’s room.
9. Bath thermometer
Come on, parents. Just stick your finger in the tub. That’s what parents have been doing for thousands of years and it works!
10. Pacifier wipes
Such a scam! Soap and water, or a baby wipe, will work just fine.
11. Baby food maker
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret — your blender can make baby food, too. Don’t waste your money.
12. Formula mixer
Putting formula into bottle, filling it with water, and mixing it works just fine. Certainly fine enough that you don’t need to drop $100+ on what amounts to a Keurig for your baby.
13. Baby care timer
There’s literally an app for that. Actually, there are several apps for that. Skip the dedicated timer and hit the app store.
(Image: iStock / emituu)