Every parent steals their toddler’s food when they aren’t looking. That is a fact. It’s also a fact that you will break your back to pack your toddler convenient, semi-healthy snacks to take with them to the zoo or daycare, and they will smash them or throw them on the ground or throw them at you every time. Might as well eat them yourself and avoid the hassle.
These delicious snacks may be cleverly marketed to little folk, but we all know that grown-ups like them better:
1. Chicken Nuggets
I will shame-eat chicken nuggets with the best of ‘em, as I pretend that they aren’t made of chicken lips and pig buttholes.
2. Mac ‘n Cheese
Lay off me—I’m carb-loading for a race.
Delicious, sugary go-gurt is more like a squishy sack of dessert than a healthy, probiotic treat.
Frozen grapes floating in a glass of wine are either totally redundant or the best idea ever.
5. Cut-Up Fruit
Regular fruit is so big and heavy. The struggle is real.
6. String Cheese
There is no toddler out there who fully appreciates the utter convenience of this cheese product.
7. Fruit Roll-Ups
I probably still have a hard-on for Fruit Roll-Ups because my mom refused to buy them for me as a kid. Now I’m an adult with an unbreakable kiddie food addiction. Thanks a lot, Mom.
These pre-made, processed lunches may seem gross at face value, but I think Theresa Edwards is on to something with her Lunchables obsession.
9. Graham Crackers
Graham Crackers may remind me of a stuffy church nursery and the smell of urine, but goddamn if they aren’t delicious.
10. Goldfish Crackers
Everyone knows that new, fancy-schmancy Goldfish Crackers flavors like cinnamon, vanilla, s’mores, mac & cheese, and parmesan are adults-only. Kids don’t have the palate.
(Image: Michaela Stejskalova/Shutterstock)