We all know by now what needs to go on a baby registry. You get some wipes, burp clothes, and an activity mat and you’re golden. But the problem with all the gifts you receive at your baby shower is that they become null and void once your precious babe begins teetering on two legs. Suddenly your sweet newborn has morphed into a Goldfish-covered toddler, climbing on all the chairs and grabbing knives off the kitchen counter (just mine?), hungry to eat every crayon and drop every iPhone. We’ve assembled our must-haves for surviving the toddler years; add them to your baby registry or order them from Amazon on your phone at 2AM. Either way, you’re gonna need them!
1. Handheld Vacuum ($34.00 on Amazon)
My 1.5-year-old’s favorite activity is digging in the cat litter like it’s a sand box. Last week she found a vial of glitter and dumped it all over the rug. Crackers and tiny feet do not mix. My best-friend is now this handheld vacuum; we’re going to see Gone Girl together this weekend.
2. Mr Clean Magic Eraser ($10.98 on Amazon)
These things might as well be made by Harry Potter, they’re so magical. Recently my toddler drew on the wall with a red Sharpie, and these glorious sponges removed the mark in one swipe.
3. Oxiclean Baby ($5.99 on Amazon)
I strip my kids naked before they eat and yet they still manage to dump all the food on their clothes. Our writers swear by Oxiclean to get spaghetti stains out of tiny clothes.
4. Floor mat ($10.99 on Amazon) 
Because the food that doesn’t end up on their clothes, ends up on the floor. And if you don’t have a dog to eat up their scraps, well, it’s easier to clean up at the end of the day when there’s a mat on the floor.
5. Hose ($4.48 on Amazon)
“LOL Kate, a hose?” you say. “Really?” Damn yes, a hose! You know how I clean the disgusting, rotting banana chunks off my kid’s high chair? I drag it out behind my house and spray it with this exact garden hose. That time my kid projectile vomited black beans and milk all over her cat seat? HOSE CITY, BABY.
6. Nozzle ($6.20 on Amazon)
You’ll need this too, for maximum spray-age.
7. Faucet extender ($9.99 on Amazon)
This is the kind of thing I scoffed at until I got one. It really works, and solves that whole ‘yank your kids’ arms across the sink until they reach the faucet’ problem.
8. iPad case ($17.95 on Amazon) 
Because you will let them use your iPad, and they will drop it. A lot.
9. Corner guards ($7.16 on Amazon)
After my brother ran into the dining room table and ended up with 12 stitches under his eye our grandmother cut tennis balls in half and duct taped them to every table corner she could find. This is the classier version of her DIY.
10. A good leak-proof sippy cup
We’ve got you covered so that your floor won’t be.
11. Food mat ($9.99 on Amazon) 
Forget plates, just stick this thing on the table in front of your kid and let them go to town. And don’t worry – we won’t tell anyone that you occasionally use it too after they go to sleep.
12. Cabinet locks ($5.49 on Amazon) 
These are the only things standing in the way of my daughters and our dishwashing pods.
13. Baby Gate ($32.00 on Amazon) 
As our own Maria Guido said, “I would die without a baby gate.” Lock ’em in, lock ’em out, lock ’em up.
