This Mom Who Lets Her Kids Swear Is On To Something
I wrote last week about my efforts to not swear in front of my children and that the occasional slip-up is inevitable no matter how well-meaning the parent. If I am being honest, most of my reasoning for attempting to not swear in front of my kids has to do with worrying they will repeat a bad word at school or teach it to other kids. As far as I am concerned, swearing in and of itself is not a big deal. I don’t think my kids would be less moral or less of a decent person if they swear sometimes. That said, as they get older, I think I will adopt a policy like Em Rusciano, who lets her children swear at home.
When I had my first child I didn’t set out to swear like a filthy pirate wench. In fact I curbed my habit around my perfect newborn. I feared that my foul words would seep into her soft skull and settle in, lying in wait for her grandparents to hear when she got around to speaking her first words.
I had images of my mother peering into the pusher and asking, “Who’s a pretty girl?” and my kid responding with “I f*%#ing am Nana!”
Yup. That is basically all that keeps me from swearing in front of my kids- the fear they will repeat the curse words and make me look bad.
My kids are now eight and 13, and they know the difference between using a swear word as an adverb and using it as an insult. The first rule in swear club is that we don’t direct it at another family member.
I mentioned in my post last week about how I was more concerned with name calling and bullying language. If my kids swear when they are older, I won’t really mind as long as it isn’t directed at someone else. There is certainly a difference between calling someone an asshole and yelling out “fuck” because you’ve spilled a cup of juice on yourself. My own parents swore in front of us but got upset if one of us used a bad word. I know they meant well but the way I see it is if I swear in front of them, I can’t very well tell them not to. And if they do swear, is it really that big of a deal? Rusciano sees it the same way that I do:
I just feel there are so many other things to worry about as a parent.
I want to teach my small ladies all the magical mysteries of the world. I want to spend my time showing them how to be excellent people, humans and women, which are all topics I give more of a f*#k about than swearing.
Amen. There is so much I want to impart on my children as they are growing up. There are lessons they need to learn and wisdom I want them to absorb. It seems pointless to worry about the odd curse word here and there when there is so much else to be concerned with.