10 Things You Will Find In Your Kid’s Backpack That Are Not Homework

If you have a school-age child, then you know all about the black hole that is their backpack. My kids are not terribly messy in general but they both have the tendency to hang on to things. It may be partly my fault as I am a sentimental sap and keep far too many of their childhood chotchkies but sometimes, I just cannot understand why they keep certain items. Emptying their backpacks is a daily episode of “WTF Is This?” so I thought I would share it with you all.

1. Half A Rotten Banana

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If my kids pack a lunch, they inevitably eat part of it on the bus in the morning (regardless of how much cereal they cram in before they leave.) Sometimes, they open a banana only to abandon it. Seeing liquefied banana ground into fabric just gives me life, you guys. Motherhood is pure joy, I tell ya.

2. A Bracelet From Another Kid

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I don’t know why, but other girls seem to love gifting random items to my daughter. Either that, or she’s stealing them and lying to me. Regardless, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve found a piece of kiddie jewelry in her backpack that I have to send back with her the next day to return to it’s rightful owner.

3. Broken Hair Ties

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Like me, my daughter has Hulk hair. It is so thick and causes hair ties to snap. I find old, broken hair ties almost every week. Also, ditched head-bands and barrettes. I honestly don’t know why I bother-no hair-do ever sees the end of the school day before she’s dismantled it.

4. Glitter

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As a good friend once told me, glitter is the herpes of craft materials. Indeed. Whenever they use it in art class and bring home a masterpiece, I am wiping glitter out of their backpacks and off all of their belongings for weeks. Can we just fucking not with the glitter, teachers?

5. Food Wrappers

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Despite the presence of trash cans all over the school, my kids tend to toss food wrappers straight into their backpacks. Bonus points for Goldfish cracker crumbs that gather in the bottom corners!

6. Permission Slip From Last Week

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Generally, all papers stay in their take-home folders but sometimes, they get things out on the bus and they end up squished into the furthest recesses of their bag only to be noticed by me days later. Hey, teachers! I’m totally on this shit!

7. Chewed Gum

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I make the mistake some mornings of giving them gum before they get on the bus. Once in a while, I am reminded why it is a mistake as I spend several minutes scraping old gum out of the bottom of a backpack.

8. Pine-cones/Rocks/Leaves

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Whatever treasures they see on their stroll into the building make it into a pocket or three. I’m waiting for the day that it’s a dead spider.

9. Crushed Up Crayons

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They have pencil boxes where crayons are supposed to stay but sometimes, an errant crayon makes it into their backpack. Where the jostling around crushes it into pieces.

10. Someone Else’s Outerwear

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We are deep into hat/glove/scarf season and I have seen so many items come home that are probably the property of the kid with the cubby next to them. Of course, they lose their own stuff.

(Image: /Shutterstock)

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