When I was living in New York with a small child, there were things about my suburban upbringing that I started to miss so much; things I never thought twice about when I had them. There are certain things that make a parent's life so much easier, that you don't really appreciate until you don't have them anymore.
1. A hallway.
There exists a long, narrow space in most suburban homes whose only function is to be a make-shift gallery and a sound buffer between you and your sleeping child? Tell me more...
2. A garage.
Nothing like having nowhere to store the baby clothes and toys you're not sure if you are going to need again.
3. A trunk.
You mean I could bring the stroller along just in case I want to use it?
4. A supermarket that has those shopping carts for kids that look like race cars.
Two kids. One shopping cart. Those things exist in suburbia.
5. A car.
You mean I can schlep all of these groceries home without losing feeling in my fingers?
6. A home you don't need to walk up stairs to enter.
Do you mean I can just drive right up to this thing, park in my garage, and walk right in? Without sweating or crying as I'm dragging two small children up three flights of stairs? I won't have to leave my stroller out front hoping no one steals it while I drag those heavy creatures to the safety of our apartment? Interesting.
7. No upstairs neighbors.
How will I teach my children about tolerance when I don't have someone who insists on wearing heels 24 hours a day and stomping around on hardwood floors living above us?
8. A washer-dryer in your house.
I can actually wash the barf-stained clothes right away? They don't need to fester in my laundry bag until I get the energy to load up the kids and drag them to the laundromat? I don't know if I can handle that kind of luxury.
9. Outdoor garbage cans in close proximity to your home.
You mean dirty diapers can leave the premises, immediately? What kind of dream world do you live in?
30 rolls of toilet paper for $14? Shut up.
(photo: blurAZ/ Shutterstock)