Pregnancy

Scary Mommy: You Are Going To Be Fat, And Other Inevitabilities Of Pregnancy

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5. You’re going to become a hypochondriac. Reading “What to Expect” books and pregnancy blogs can make you paranoid enough, but add in the health problems that often accompany being FAT, and you may notice new troubling symptoms every day. Fatigue, heartburn, abdominal pain, constipation, leg cramps, back spasms, palpitations, and kidney stones are just a few of the symptoms my friends and I have experienced (I say friends because they knew better than not to get FAT).

6. You’re going to be a basket case. Your emotions are going to be out-of-control, not because you’re freaked out by how FAT you are, or because of all the physical problems you’re having, but because of your hormones. Their action on your brain defies scientific explanation. My husband prefers the old-fashioned explanation: the curse. Yes, I know you thought that was one problem you wouldn’t have while pregnant, but the curse is still very much in force. You’ll know that when you can’t stop crying after watching a commercial where the people looked “really happy.” You’ll know that when you’re so overcome by the plot of the Hallmark movie you watched that you can’t speak without blubbering. Tell your mom friends that you love being pregnant while smiling in your cute little maternity jogging suit you wore to the gym and you can be sure: THEY WILL HATE YOU.

7. You’re going to attract crazies. By this time, I bet you’re starting to get comfortable with being FAT. But other people won’t be. People you don’t even know will come up to you, rub your belly, and ask you if you’re having multiples. What’s worse is that crazy people you DO know will feel compelled to tell you every pregnancy horror story they’ve ever heard. When this happens, take my advice: have a cookie. If everyone in your life is super sweet and supportive, pretend to be miserable anyway or WOMEN WILL HATE YOU.

8. You won’t be able to handle the pain. I don’t know if being FAT makes the pain worse, but even if you’re not fat, you’re going to cave due to pain in labor. Go ahead and take the natural labor class though. They serve a lot of good food. Then get pain relief ASAP–preferably in month 7. The only women I know who had no epidural for their first labor were disappointed that they gave birth too quickly to get one. They still talk about it years later. Speaking of years later, I met a woman many years ago who said she had no pain in labor AT ALL. I still HATE HER.

9. You’re not going to get your body back. I feel the need to remind you one more time that you’re going to be FAT. It’s hard to pack on lots of weight with no lasting effects. Imagine renting your place to someone for nine months. Do you really expect it to look the same when they move out? Your stomach will look like an old party balloon with the air let out. Same goes for the big pair of balloons you’re sporting now. Sure, it’s possible that you’ll still have a bikini-eligible body after your baby is born, but that’s the biggest mistake of all where your social life is concerned. I guarantee WE WILL HATE YOU.

10. You’re not going to be a perfect mom. No, not because you got FAT in the process of becoming a mom. Not because your expensive maternity wardrobe made you look like a float in the Thanksgiving parade. Not because you ignored my advice and pranced around in your giant underwear to cool off while your husband was awake. Not because you quit working out and became a hypochondriacal basket case. Definitely not because you promised to let some strange old lady you met at the mall babysit for you. But because it’s the most important truth about pregnancy: there are no perfect moms. And you know what? As long as you don’t pretend that you’re perfect, every mom you meet WILL LOVE YOU.

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161 Comments

  1. The Redhead

    August 28, 2014 at 10:24 am

    Yes so much to #1. The only thing that cures morning sickness is CARBS and lots of them! My OB suggested that instead of carbs I have little snacks of vegetables and fruits throughout the day. Screw that! It only made everything worse.
    Pretzels, crackers, pasta, sandwiches on giant slices of bread… that’s all I want!!!

  2. Surly Canuck

    August 28, 2014 at 10:25 am

    Umm, this article kind of makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because each point has the word FAT in it. I’m at 32 weeks now and yea, I gained a considerable amount of weight, but honestly there are worse things. For the most part, I’ve been able to laugh at the more embarrassing changes (gas anyone?), but the tone of this article is really bitter.

    • Natasha

      August 28, 2014 at 10:28 am

      Honestly, gaining weight was at the bottom of my list of “The Worst Parts of Growing a Person”. At the top was swollen feet, followed by it not being socially acceptable to drink taziki sauce.

    • GPMeg

      August 28, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      Wait, it’s not socially acceptable to drink tatziki sauce? Dang…

    • Natasha

      August 28, 2014 at 10:35 pm

      Unfortunately no. You get weird looks and your husband judges you harshly.

    • GPMeg

      August 28, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      Well, damn. I was kinda hoping that once I hit the pregnant stage of my life I could just use it as an excuse to do all the things I wanted to do with food beforehand!

    • dianasaur

      August 30, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      Oh my goodness I just drank tzatziki sauce last night!

    • momjones

      August 28, 2014 at 10:30 am

      I agree with you about the tone. I had my children in 1980, 1981, and 1985. Honestly, I don’t remember my friends, family and I constantly talking about being FAT. I was pregnant, not fat.

    • Zettai

      August 28, 2014 at 10:33 am

      I think this is cut and pasted directly from the Scary Mommy site. All of the “FAT” and “will hate you”s made me pretty sure I’ve read it before. Over there everyone said the same thing about the tone.

    • LadyClodia the Modest Rat

      August 28, 2014 at 10:34 am

      Yeah, I read it, and I just wasn’t sure how to respond because of the tone. I mean, sure some of these things might have applied to me, but it doesn’t seem very easy to relate to.

    • allisonjayne

      August 28, 2014 at 10:38 am

      Me too. I also don’t get the fear of being fat as though it’s the worst thing ever.

    • heaven dip

      August 28, 2014 at 11:13 am

      K thanks- if its such a terrible, life ruining experience, she maybe should have stopped short of 6. And this woman claims to be a Dr.?

    • KaeTay

      August 28, 2014 at 12:34 pm

      just so you k now your body continues to change after your have the kid. My daughter is almost two and it’s still shrinking down.

    • Not Bitter, Just FAT

      August 28, 2014 at 12:58 pm

      Well, I am already fat… So shit, I guess I already failed. Don’t need to get pregnant now.

    • ted3553

      August 28, 2014 at 1:51 pm

      I am upset when people talk about pregnant women as being fat, no matter how big they get. You’re pregnant, not fat.

    • JulesInNC

      August 28, 2014 at 1:52 pm

      Yeah, glad to see that it seems to be the consensus. I get that it’s supposed to be satire, but it’s not executed well enough to be funny, and instead just comes across as bitchy. I’m 18 weeks, am on track to gain what’s considered a normal/healthy amount of weight, and am trying to do things to keep myself sane and comfortable. Including not judging myself or others, particularly on something as petty as pounds gained. If that makes someone HATE me, it sounds like a personal problem to me.

    • GPMeg

      August 28, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      I really wanted to like it, but that FAT thing is definitely an issue. I’m a little heavy and my biggest anxiety is that I’m going to be too FAT to be pregnant in a healthy manner. So, yeah, not helping.

  3. Jessifer

    August 28, 2014 at 10:29 am

    Ok, am I the only one who thought my maternity clothes looked really cute and thought that I looked great in them (maybe not like a mannequin, but great nonetheless)? I gained 36lbs which is not bad, but not great either. I never felt FAT, like the article repeatedly states (well, except when I went 2 weeks overdue, but I think anyone at 42 weeks would feel like a whale). And no, I did not live on lean meats and veggies.

    • Surly Canuck

      August 28, 2014 at 10:44 am

      I’m with ya! I’ve received a lot of compliments on my maternity wardrobe. And really my bra straps falling down all the damn time is more annoying than the baby belly.

    • Jessifer

      August 28, 2014 at 11:13 am

      I know! I bought some maternity office wear and they were all nice and brand new, compared to the old regular clothes I was wearing day in day out for the last few years (I’m terrible at updating my wardrobe). The only annoying thing was that since I didn’t want to spend too much, I only had about 5-6 outfits to wear on a rotation so I was getting a bit sick of the lack of variety, but I still though they looked good!

    • Hibbie

      August 28, 2014 at 10:47 am

      I love maternity clothes. They are really cute these days. I look at my mom’s pregnancy pictures and I feel so bad for her. Maternity leisure suits?! No thank you! We were looking at them together once and she exclaimed, “My God, look at these smocks. Nothing but smocks!”

    • Hibbie

      August 28, 2014 at 10:47 am

      I love maternity clothes. They are really cute these days. I look at my mom’s pregnancy pictures and I feel so bad for her. Maternity leisure suits?! No thank you! We were looking at them together once and she exclaimed, “My God, look at these smocks. Nothing but smocks!”

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 28, 2014 at 10:52 am

      I bought lots of cute maternity clothes. I am 9 months post-partum and I still wear a couple of the pieces because they are cute. 🙂

    • lauramich

      August 29, 2014 at 2:09 pm

      I’m 22 months postpartum, and there’s one maternity dress that I can’t bring myself to get rid of—a brown sundress with white polka dots (think Julia Roberts in the polo scene of Pretty Woman). I get compliments on it still.

    • allisonjayne

      August 28, 2014 at 10:53 am

      I pretty much just lived in super-long stretchy tank tops (2 for $6 from H&M) and unbuttoned cardigans my whole pregnancy, and the few maternity pieces I did have were pretty cute too. I think I looked awesome.

      I gained almost 50 lbs but mostly in my belly and derriere, and I like big butts (and I cannot lie) so the extra weight on my ass didn’t bother me at all. I loved my pregnant ass! Thankfully some of it stuck around.

      The only time I felt uncomfortable with my appearance was the first couple of days post-partum, when I had a bunch of water weight from all the IV fluids and half of it went to my face.

    • Fondue

      August 28, 2014 at 11:36 am

      I’m jealous you gained in your butt. I was noticing in the mirror just last night that my belly has gotten so big and round that it makes my butt look flat by comparison.

    • jendra_berri

      August 28, 2014 at 12:16 pm

      My butt spread along with the rest of me and flattened, and that freaked me out because I was afraid I was going to lose my nice bum forever. Thankfully, it more or less came back.

    • Kitsune

      August 28, 2014 at 1:07 pm

      Oh you just reassured me so much. I loved my butt pre pregnancy but mine got all flat after too. It’s a little better but I was scared it was gone forever.

    • Jen TheTit Whipper

      August 28, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      I’m happy to know this is doable because I just can’t imagine paying a ton of money for clothes I know I’m only going to be able to wear a few months.

    • allisonjayne

      August 28, 2014 at 4:14 pm

      I spent hardly any money on maternity clothes. I wore my own jeans up until month 6, using the hair elastic around the button trick. I “made” a belly band by cutting the top off a really stretchy black tank top that I got for $10. I bought a pair of maternity skinny jeans from old navy and a few pairs of maternity tights, and I was pregnant in the winter so I did get a maternity winter coat (which I ended up selling for almost what I paid for it the next year). Oh and you can buy bra extenders for when your rib cage expands.
      And towards the end of my pregnancy, I kept an eye out for any non-ugly, reasonably-priced “regular clothes” that would also work for nursing (things with a stretchy neckline, buttons, etc) and stocked up.

    • Jen TheTit Whipper

      August 29, 2014 at 8:18 am

      If we can ever conceive I may have to hit you up for details. I just can’t process spending a ton of money for all that. Plus my wardrobe now is mostly tank tops with a shrug or cardigan so…that would help. lol

    • Jennie Blair

      August 28, 2014 at 12:12 pm

      I like mine, I also bought stuff that didn’t scream you’re a pregnant sea cow, so I won’t worry about wearing my shirts next summer or one of my pretty dresses for the holidays so when the food baby comes I am still comfortable 😉

    • jendra_berri

      August 28, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      I felt the same way. I looked good, everyone told me I looked good and the clothes fit really nicely. I ate whatever and gained about 35 pounds, and went a few weeks overdue.
      I did feel massive, though, and the leg and feet swelling was obscene.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 28, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      I loved my maternity clothes. I felt really cute most of my pregnancies. Until the last few weeks, then I was just tired and sleep was always calling.

    • Quinn

      August 28, 2014 at 2:37 pm

      I don’t understand who’d want to do that on purpose anyway. I gained only baby weight basically, except the baby stretched out my tiny torso so much I now have a nice squishy middle and good luck to me if I want to hide that shit. SEXY! /sarcasm

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 28, 2014 at 4:18 pm

      I loved my maternity clothes. Totally not the only one.

  4. rachel

    August 28, 2014 at 10:39 am

    This article is ridic and a lot of it was not true for me. Sorry! Stop making assumptions about all mothers and women.

  5. LadyClodia the Modest Rat

    August 28, 2014 at 10:40 am

  6. Grr! Arrgh!

    August 28, 2014 at 10:43 am

    Umm. Not all pregnant ladies I guess?

    I had weird morning sickness for the first 16 weeks – I didn’t have food aversions, I was adverse to FOOD. The only thing I could even kind of stomach was fruits and veggies. Carbs – ugh, so heavy. Meat and dairy – HURK! I lived on veggie salads and the occasional peanut butter smoothie when I knew I just needed the calories and protein.

    I also worked out, not heavily, but I walked a LOT my whole pregnancy. It was the only thing that make the aches bearable. If I could have spent my entire 9th month on a hampster wheel I would have because it made my back not hate me.

    So I guess since I didn’t gain 50 lbs or order snack cakes by the gross – largely because of circumstances beyond my control – that means I’m destined to die friendless and alone now? Because our only two options seemed to be FAT (which automatically incurs self-loathing according to this) or the loathing of your peers. Whee!

    • Lilly

      August 28, 2014 at 11:17 am

      It was really weird to be a pregnant lady who did not gain much weight. For me it was about my son’s positioning, he compressed my stomach more than any other organ (even my bladder) so I would eat maybe a bite or 2 at a time and feel full really quickly. But when I went to prenatal classes and new mom classes I felt that there was so much lamenting about weight gain, it was really depressing to witness.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 28, 2014 at 11:49 am

      I worked out too, for a lot of the same reasons. I had always been active, so just sitting on my butt for 9 months would have been weird for me. And when I started to get neck and back pain from my boobs getting bigger, I had a PT give me exercises to strengthen the muscles, which made the pain go away. Ditto with walking and doing light body weight exercises to help stop low back and hip pain. Exercise can help with a lot of the pregnancy aches and pains and just help you feel better overall.
      And if anyone decided to hate me because of that, well, I doubt I’d want to hang it with them anyway.

    • Grr! Arrgh!

      August 28, 2014 at 3:32 pm

      I guess that means we exercisers and low weight gainers can all hang out then without animus…and the women who think being pregnant and being fat are different things….and the women who know being fat is fine and not the worse crime a woman could commit…and the women who felt cool about their maternity clothes…and pretty much everyone on mommyish who had problems with this article…

      So, really, all of us on here a pretty much cool with everyone else. Except the author of this article.

  7. allisonjayne

    August 28, 2014 at 10:47 am

    Here’s another viewpoint, from Belle Jar Blog: “You are supposed to gain weight while you’re pregnant”: http://bellejar.ca/2014/06/05/youre-supposed-to-gain-weight-while-youre-pregnant/

  8. allisonjayne

    August 28, 2014 at 10:47 am

    Here’s another viewpoint, from Belle Jar Blog: “You are supposed to gain weight while you’re pregnant”: http://bellejar.ca/2014/06/05/youre-supposed-to-gain-weight-while-youre-pregnant/

    • Surly Canuck

      August 28, 2014 at 10:53 am

      A much better point of view.

    • sera

      August 28, 2014 at 3:07 pm

      I love this bellejar article. so much more on point.

    • allisonjayne

      August 28, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      Anne’s writing is so great, especially (but not only) about parenting stuff.

  9. guest

    August 28, 2014 at 10:59 am

    I don’t know…pregnancy seems to have quite the variety. I will agree, that with both of my SILs they went from being relatively small to eating literally everything (two boxes of zebra cakes for lunch?!) and are now obese and their kids are school age. I know some who have the baby and return to being tiny because they’ve got some sick genetics and look better post baby than I do as my regular self. Then there are the ones who just balloon up a bit from water retention but after a couple months (or years) get down to a normal (for them) weight. Its a mixed bag but I say do what works for you. I’m sure I’ll look slightly baluga-like because I retain water like an epic drought it coming and I’m friendly with Ben & Jerry but I also intend to do my best to not let it all go to hell. Unless I get that morning sickness for months..then all bets are off.

  10. Bleu Cheese Bewbs

    August 28, 2014 at 11:05 am

    I’m having trouble deciding if the author is being serious and is thus really bitchy in life, or if I am misinterpreting this article somehow.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 28, 2014 at 11:51 am

      If you’re misinterpreting it, I think we all are. This missed the mark for me.

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 28, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      I felt the same way when I read this opinion piece this lady wrote about
      how being catcalled is a huge compliment and how much she totally loves
      it. My first reaction was one of EXTREME Indignation. I was like THAT.
      IS. NOT. FUNNY. But it was an author with whom I wasn’t familiar on a
      site I had never visited. I’m pretty familiar with Mommyish, though, so I
      figured this offering was supposed to be silly. You know, along the
      same lines as the different parenting techniques articles… those are
      my favorites, especially the one about Pioneer Parenting where it says
      you should gather all your children around you and if they haven’t
      contracted dysentery, you should paddle them roundly to ensure they
      won’t be tempted to contract dysentery. (It is never not funny to me.
      Ever.)

      But I can see where people reading this could be
      hard-pressed to find the humor in it, since there is so much snarky shit
      all over the place about How To Pregnant. And I could be wrong, maybe
      the author wasn’t being silly when she wrote it- maybe it’s not meant to
      be tongue-in-cheek. But that’s how *I* took it. :/

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 28, 2014 at 3:33 pm

      Haha the Pioneer parenting article is the best! And yeah, after thinking about it, I do think this is a case of differing styles of humor. It’s different than the usual Mish stuff, so it kind of took me by surprise.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 28, 2014 at 5:04 pm

      I think there’s definitely a contextual basis to humor. As a grad student in sociolinguistics, I once did a paper on the plentiful opportunities to misinterpret text-based conversations (on AIM, which should tell you how long ago that was :/ ), and the case study I used was a conversation I’d had with my then-boyfriend, whose occasionally terse abbreviations I really should’ve been able to interpret. Long-winded point being, it’s obvious that Theresa isn’t actually going around paddling her daughter roundly to discourage her from contracting dysentery, not just because the premise is laughably absurd, but also because we know her and her writing style. The same cannot be said for this article’s author, so I know I for sure can’t tell whether she’s exaggerating solely for humorous effect or if there are deeper issues going on that warrant a cry of, “Physician, heal thyself!”

  11. Sauce

    August 28, 2014 at 11:06 am

    I can’t get past this: “I know what you’re thinking–that you’ve seen plenty of moms stay tiny during pregnancy. What you probably don’t know is that real moms HATE these women.” What is a “real mom”? Are women who are naturally slender and who happen not to gain a lot of weight during pregnancy fake moms? I’ll have to tell my sister, who is nearly 6 ft tall, naturally skinny, and who only gained weight in the stomach during her three pregnancies. That phrasing just seems a little body-shaming-pregnant-womeny to me.

    • Sauce

      August 28, 2014 at 11:08 am

      By the way, I’m only mentioning her height because tall women tend to look like they’ve gained less during pregnancy because the baby can stretch out on our extra-long torsos.

    • KaeTay

      August 28, 2014 at 12:35 pm

      not to mention the placement of the baby. There are some babies that hangout in the ribs so well the mother doesn’t look pregnant at all.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 28, 2014 at 11:50 am

      I hate the “real mom” bullshit with the fire of a thousand suns. We are all “real moms”. I don’t care how you have your baby, how you feed them, anything like that. We are all real moms.

    • Quinn

      August 28, 2014 at 2:20 pm

      Yeeeaahh, I’m sort of stabby now. I don’t dig that at all. I’m not a real mom because, um, my body does stuff and is ways? That’s fucked up!

  12. Guest

    August 28, 2014 at 11:12 am

    So, as a fat non-pregnant woman, it’s nice to know that my near-naked body will make my husband terrified, that I can’t possibly work out, that clothes will all look bad on me, that I suddenly have horrible health problems…only, of course, none of that is true. My husband thinks I’m a sex goddess, I do work out, I look good in some of my clothes, and my health is generally good. Though it is always awesome to run across articles that make being fat sound like the end of the world. Now, where was that body positivity mommyish talks about again?

    • ShameOnMommyish

      August 28, 2014 at 11:17 am

      This doctor apparently euthanized it. Totally a disgrace that Mommyish let this garbage be posted. Now excuse me while I take my FAT self somewhere where my pregnant body won’t be shamed behind belief.

    • Lian

      August 28, 2014 at 11:46 am

      Agree, I am really disappointed in Mommyish. I hope they learn something from the comments.

    • Surly Canuck

      August 28, 2014 at 1:41 pm

      I feel like Mommyish puts up articles like this just to generate controversy. I’m sure they generate a lot of hits as people come back to check the comments section.

    • Lian

      August 28, 2014 at 1:48 pm

      That’s true, I did come back to reply to you now… But ultimately when sites post stuff like this too often I stop coming back entirely – and my goodwill drains with quickly with each bad article. I hope they don’t focus too much on their web analytics but start focusing on maintaining brand instead!

    • Jen TheTit Whipper

      August 28, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      Most of the Scary Mommy posts are funny or snarky etc. I just think this one missed the mark…by a long shot.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 28, 2014 at 2:11 pm

      Right? While I don’t tie my entire self-worth to my weight or how I carry it, you can bet your sweet ass I feel pretty good about myself when I’m rocking toned abs. But I’ll never be a size 6–hell, with my pelvis, 8 would be pushing it. So I guess I can thank the author of this article for giving me yet another reason to avoid pregnancy, lest I develop body-image problems due to a temporary inability to work out or eat anything that won’t send my blood sugar spiraling out of control.

    • Amber Leigh Wood

      August 29, 2014 at 1:09 am

      I know I must not have any friends because, I worked out until 41 weeks, I didn’t get FAT, I was able to wear semi-normal clothing and didn’t have horrible health problems…. I never think that a pregnant lady should be referred to as fat, it’s not as if they dove into a pile of bad food, they are growing a person

  13. Heather

    August 28, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Actually, pregnancy makes you, PREGNANT. Not fat. You sound like a 13 year old boy seeing a pregnant girl for the first time. Bigger does not mean fatter. Eating junk does not mean that you are fat. Even eating junk AND gaining weight at the same time does not mean a person is “getting fat.”

  14. Alene

    August 28, 2014 at 11:13 am

    So I’m absolutely going to get “fat” and therefore disgusting, and anyone who doesn’t is worth the of hatred and shame?

    Right. Got it.

  15. Jenny

    August 28, 2014 at 11:14 am

    I guess the author had a really terrible pregnancy and wants to make all pregnant women feel ashamed about literally everything. Honestly, how many times can she put FAT in an article before even she gets annoyed with it? I guess misery really does love company. She should take her own advice and eat a cookie. Homegirl needs something to brighten up her life.

  16. alexesq33

    August 28, 2014 at 11:20 am

    “Nor will running around in your gigantic white underwear and monstrous bra do anything to appeal to your very frightened husband.”
    Read more: https://mommyish.com/2014/08/28/things-that-happen-during-pregnancy/#ixzz3BhUkdMaM
    BWAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! This made me spit out my coffee. kthx.

  17. Looby

    August 28, 2014 at 11:24 am

    I kind of get that is is supposed to be amusing but it fails. On every level. Mommyish has some really funny writers and contributors – How the fudge did this manage to slip through. She’s not scary she’s tedious and apparently had 6 shitty pregnancys (possibly because she’s a Home schooling Christian which just reeks of sanctimommy)

  18. CMJ

    August 28, 2014 at 11:48 am

    This post doesn’t sit well with me at all. Maybe it’s the week I’m having…

  19. Jennie Blair

    August 28, 2014 at 11:51 am

    7 months in, I feel fat but I’ve only gained 13 lbs. I didn’t gain weight anywhere other than my baby belly, so clothes don’t make me look ugly. I look normal actually expect from a side view. I am hot most of the time but I’m also stuck in GA where the temp is well over 90 daily. The weirdos don’t come near me, which is good cuz i am not the Buddha.

  20. Jen TheTit Whipper

    August 28, 2014 at 11:56 am

    Seriously though, why is FAT written that way?

  21. Allthingsblue

    August 28, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    I’d have thought a Christian, a psychologist, a mother, etc. wouldn’t contribute to the Mommy Wars, but I guess not so much…

  22. Penelope

    August 28, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    I’m 14 weeks along with my first, and I got pregnant right in the middle of a time in my life where I was really trying to eat healthy and take care of myself and yes, lose weight! Now I can’t even think about cutting calories or working out hard, and I’m staring down the barrel of a very significant weight gain when I was just trying to lose a few weeks ago! It terrifies me, especially since I’m starting this journey already on the heavy side. I’m actually really looking forward to my stomach ‘popping’ out a bit so it looks like a pregnant belly and not extra donuts. I don’t know if Mommyish takes requests, but…I would really appreciate a body-positive pregnancy piece. My OB thinks the baby is a girl, and I’m terrified to pass on my body insecurities to her!

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 28, 2014 at 12:58 pm

      Oooh, I wish you the best. I can’t even imagine how reading this must have felt for you–the repeated all-caps use of “fat” made me a little insecure about the fact that I’ll never be a size 6, and I’m usually quite self-confident self-accepting, not to mention child- and therefore pregnancy-free. Are you able to find a good therapist as extra moral support?

    • Penelope

      August 31, 2014 at 3:17 am

      You’re sweet, thank you! I’ve been in therapy in the past, but not at the moment. My husband is super supportive, and I’ve been really focusing on the word ‘pregnant’ instead of ‘fat’ when I look in the mirror. I was just surprised how uncomfortable this article made me feel. ‘Fat’ and ‘pregnant’ are NOT the same thing!

  23. Lexi

    August 28, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    Wow. I’m only 6 months right now, but I have HG and lost forty pounds from months 2-3. I am only now starting to be able to eat. I would LOVE to gain some weight and be “fat.” I guess I won’t be a ‘real mom.’

  24. Kelly

    August 28, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    This article manages to shame just about everyone: “fat”, thin, healthy eaters, junk food eaters, women who have natural birth, women who “can’t handle” natural birth, women who buy maternity clothes, women who wear their husband’s clothes….the pure breadth of shame and resentment is pretty amazing. So…I guess that’s something?

    • Maria Guido

      August 28, 2014 at 12:16 pm

      See, I didn’t see it that way at all! I saw it as pregnant women are always calling themselves fat because it’s a strange feeling to put on all that weight so fast and she was just exaggerating the word to get that across. But idk – everyone processes these stories differently I guess!

    • Kelly

      August 28, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      No, I get the intention. The execution rubbed me the wrong way…I ate pretty healthy, didn’t gain much weight that wasn’t a baby, felt like I looked pretty cute in my maternity clothes, and had a natural birth, and according to this article, EVERYONE HATES ME IN ALL SHOUTY CAPS. I don’t know, I had an easy pregnancy and birth and I feel like I can never share any of my experiences without people hating on me/judging me or being dismissive of my thoughts and feelings, and it makes me feel super defensive. Because OF COURSE I can relate to some of her points, and see the humor in them.

    • Guinevere

      August 28, 2014 at 1:09 pm

      I could never hate you in all shouty caps. I speak for everyone.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 28, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      I agree with Guinevere. #ispeakforthousands

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 28, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      if we knew each other in real life and hung out a lot and were pregnant at the same time, we would have looked like one of those DOs and DON’Ts articles. Your pregnancy experience and mine exist on opposite ends of the spectrum- yours being on the awesome side, mine being on the decidedly not-awesome- in- any- way side. And I would not have hated you for having the cute pregnancy- but if you came over to my house one morning all adorable and shit, I *would* have called you a butthole. Then I would have made us some nice tea and then maybe we could have painted each other’s toenails because I know I couldn’t reach mine and probably you couldn’t reach yours either. And also I would have been whining a lot, but I would’ve set the timer on the microwave for 20 minutes because a 20-minute whinefest is enough for anyone, even for a miserable pregnant woman. Then maybe we’d go to Target or some shit.

      Having said that, though… this article is pretty well in line with my sense of humor, so I thought it was funny. I tend to be pretty hyperbolic myself, so… I get it.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 28, 2014 at 3:12 pm

      Haha. Whatever you do, just make sure you bring the cookies because I love cookies. 🙂

    • Maria Guido

      August 28, 2014 at 3:41 pm

      A butthole -haha. We have the same sense of humor. I am bummed that so many people hated it though! You win some, you lose some.

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 28, 2014 at 3:54 pm

      truth.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 28, 2014 at 4:54 pm

      I’ll totally paint toenails and participate in a whinefest, though my whining usually has to do with aches and pains I inflicted on myself because I thought pitting my body against a steep mountainside was a good idea! But tea is always good.

    • Maria Guido

      August 28, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      I would never hate you in shoutycaps. I LOVE YOU IN SHOUTYCAPS, THOUGH.

    • Kelly

      August 28, 2014 at 4:23 pm

      THANKS MARIA.

    • Kelly

      August 28, 2014 at 12:25 pm

      I guess also I think lots of her points could have been made without the fat-shaming aspect. Like, everyone eats junk food a little more than normal, and says it’s for the baby, and that’s kind of funny. And I think everyone has that moment where they look in the mirror and think, holy SHIT what happened to me, and that’s kind of funny. So many of these moments are relatable, really, and that’s what makes me have such a strong reaction. Like, I just felt like she was talking to ME but in a way that made it clear she really fucking hates me (and lots of other women I know who have had different experiences, but still ones that she references). I don’t know if that makes sense…

  25. Angie S

    August 28, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    I was really sick in the beginning of my pregnancy so when I was finally able to eat normally, I gain weight fast (like 2lbs+ a week) because of a slowed metabolism. At week 28ish I saw a nutritionalist who helped me get control and I stopped the excessive weight gain. Also, everyone was always trying to feed me junk food. When I would refuse, people would always say, “Don’t worry about it, you’re pregnant”. Or say, “My wife gained 70 lbs, you don’t have to worry”. I have never seen any mom who gained that much while pregnant weight lose it.
    Are you going to feel fat at 6-7-8-9 months? Yes.
    Are you going to sweat in the most unattractive way possible (Two words…butt sweat)? Probably
    Do you have to excessively gain weight while you “eat for two”? No.
    Does you weight have anything to do with your ability to parent? No.

  26. Joy

    August 28, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    I’m glad I didn’t see this early in my pregnancy, it would have been so discouraging! Pregnancy is different for everyone, and this was definitely NOT my experience. FWIW, I went a week overdue, worked out until the day before I was induced, gained 25 lbs, and lost it all by 3 months post partum. I guess all my mom friends secretly hate me, according to this. Also didn’t have any nausea and all my cravings were fruits. I’m sorry the author had such a crappy pregnancy, but let’s not try to make others feel doomed to repeat the author’s experience, and also let’s not pretend gaining weight is the worst thing in the world. Mommyish is generally so positive and this article seems weirdly out of character. What gives?

    • Blueathena623

      August 28, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      If gaining weight isn’t the worst thing in the world, why mention that you only gained 25 lbs and lost it all 3 months post partum?

    • Joy

      August 28, 2014 at 4:22 pm

      Because my point was that getting fat is not inevitable OR the worst thing in the world, both things the author seems to believe. Everything about this article was bullshit.

  27. jendra_berri

    August 28, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    I was one of those working out till 6 months cute pregnant ladies. I looked great. Felt like shit, but never looked better. I paid the price afterwards in a floppy tummy and I’m lugging around 5-10 extra pounds that I put on AFTER the baby was born, but I also just hit 30 at that time and a slowing metabolism I think is also at play.
    I’m still a real mom, though, despite looking good through my pregnancy. I doubt anyone hated me for it.

  28. KaeTay

    August 28, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    Alright my arguments on this “column”

    #1
    Just because a woman doesn’t get huge doesn’t mean she is
    not eating. You do not need to eat for two because you’re not.. a smoothie is
    equivalent to the extra calories that you need. I ate healthy while pregnant…
    and I did because I knew eating more veggies and fruit would be better for the
    baby then constant junk food. Sure I indulged but I craved strawberries and
    beans (not together) more than oreos (though I did indulge in them as well). I
    gained over 40lbs.. the asthma medication I was on for a temporary time is
    notorious for making you gain weight. When I switched medication my weight
    stopped sky rocketing. I also walked 3 miles a day. It’s important to be
    healthy or at least attempt to be while pregnant it’ll make things easier on
    you and the baby.

    #2
    depends on where you buy your clothes. I got mine from motherhood maternity,
    got mine always on sale or clearance. I looked cute.

    #3
    Ok yes, I was hot during my pregnancy but I also was
    pregnant during the summer at the end of my pregnancy.

    #4
    Nope, I rode my bike until it hurt my ass too much
    (seriously what happened to bike seats). Then I went on walks, around 3 miles a
    day. Study shows mothers who keep active have an easier time in labor. My labor
    was 2 hours and 15 minutes. It was either a fucking miracle or due to me
    keeping myself in shape and eating right.. or a mixture of both.

    #5
    I only had heartburn… from water, I didn’t become a
    hypochondriac

    #6
    I freaked out a couple of time not because of the weight
    gain but because I had a crazy bitch whispering “what if’s” in my ear about my
    husband once I found out a girl he worked with who likes married men had her
    eyes set on him. Turns out it was the crazy friends hubs who was dabbling in
    those waters.

    #7
    I thin that one may be true given my #6 reply. But no one
    tried to touch my stomach.

    #8
    Another freak thing about me.. labor was so easy! I was
    watching the live action halo movie while in labor, waiting for my time to
    push. The Pitocin is what hurt.. not the actual labor pains. I had very little
    pain.

    #9
    I was a size 1 in juniors I am now a size 3 in juniors. I’m
    hoping not to get back down to a size 1.

    #10
    No one is perfect.

    • sera

      August 28, 2014 at 2:24 pm

      Why does water give me heartburn???? Over five hours after I eat, I taste my last meal because I drank water. blarg.
      I’m still small at 24 weeks and craving sweets all the time, but I find that smoothies help a ton.
      Hopefully I’ll get lucky like you and have a short labor, but given the extra large size of my baby I’m not holding my breath.

    • Blueathena623

      August 28, 2014 at 4:09 pm

      Tell me more about how perfect you are, despite writing that no one is perfect.

  29. Linzon

    August 28, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    So, I loved being FAT and having a HUGE STOMACH and I guess you hate me because THE PAIN WAS BAD BUT TOLERABLE I WOULD RATHER DO LABOR AGAIN THAN IMPACTED WISDOM TEETH AGAIN and I’m at my lowest weight in my adult life despite HAVING BEEN PREGNANT FAT.

    YES IT IS A GOOD DAY FOR ALLCAPS.

  30. rockmonster

    August 28, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Oh no! You’ve gained some weight!

    http://pixelrant.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/126.jpg

    This entire post is crap.

    • Bethany Ramos

      August 28, 2014 at 1:11 pm

      This pic is gold.

  31. NotTakenNotAvailable

    August 28, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    Well, this dredged up body issues I didn’t even know I had, and I was already emphatically (or should that be emFATically?) trying to avoid pregnancy forever.

  32. Alikay

    August 28, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Well…I thought it was funny.

    • Blueathena623

      August 28, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      Apparently we are the only ones.

  33. Marie

    August 28, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    I couldn’t even finish reading this, it was horrible. I’m disappointed in Mommyish choosing to allow this to be posted.

  34. James

    August 28, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    This is not funny at all. Take your body issues and self-hate elsewhere.

  35. Pingback: Takin’ It Off Here, Boss | Kate Browne Blogs!

  36. Guinevere

    August 28, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    clearly, the author has not discovered enough “sanity saving ideas”.

  37. MC Dangerfield

    August 28, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    I get the article was meant to be cheeky & light. But there is an incredibly distracting and disturbing amount of all-caps “FAT” and “WE WILL HATE YOU” in this. Fine, fine. I’m a fat ass, and if I’m not, you hate me.

  38. AmandaP

    August 28, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    this whole article blows. period. this “doctor” needs to take a lesson sarcasm if that is what she is trying to imply with her “YOURE GOING TO GET FAT” comments. I’m not a parent… never been pregnant… but i do have many friends who have been and i am positive they would also thoroughly despise this article’s tone. While some things can, i assume, be relateable, making women feel bad about being fucking awesome and CREATING AND CARRYING A HUMAN FOR 9 MONTHS is absurd and ridiculous. I plan on becoming a mother in the near-ish future and I can’t imagine my extremely loving and amazingly supportive husband “being disgusted by the site of me naked” even if i personally am with myself. for christs sake i will carrying his spawn. he better LOVE all my curves, jiggles and cellulite. ok… sorry, got a little worked up there. but really… this article is absurd, and completely misses the mark on being even remotely funny. end rant. i love all you mommas and appreciate every lb you put on to bring your screaming infant into this extremely effed up world with ding-a-lings like Dr. Crank Pants above. <3

  39. Sherri

    August 28, 2014 at 1:49 pm

    Okay, so first things first: a person is not fat. A person *has* fat – fat is an adjective, not a noun. Secondly, this author seems to be very bitter about their pregnancy. I’ve known pregnant women who kept up their exercise routines – yes, they had to modify them because hello baby tummy, but funnily enough they managed. If your significant other thinks you’re terrifying naked while pregnant, then I’m sorry, but the generalization that *all* non-prego partners will feel that way is rude and not true.

    Basically:

    • Blueathena623

      August 28, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      I’m fat.

    • Sherri

      August 28, 2014 at 2:26 pm

      If that’s how you want to describe yourself, then props to you?

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 28, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      FAT BITCHES ALL UP IN THE HIZZY!

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 28, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      Yes, ‘fat’ is an adjective, and in the sentence ‘I am fat’ it is modifying the verb ‘am’. Just like ‘I am skinny’. You wouldn’t say “I have skinnny” because it doesn’t make sense.

    • Sherri

      August 28, 2014 at 2:35 pm

      Yeah, but people don’t use it in that fashion – they use it as absolutes. “I am skinny” among my age group isn’t a comment about a facet of a person, but a defining characteristic. Just like “I am fat” isn’t generally used as an observation that there is some excess pounds on your frame, it’s become a defining characteristic of how people see themselves. People are praised for being skinny and held up as examples of idealized beauty not because skinny is describing their frame, but because it’s morphed into a mindset that skinny = good and pretty and healthy, while fat = bad and ugly and unhealthy.

    • Guest

      August 28, 2014 at 6:14 pm

      Adverbs modify verbs. Adjectives modify nouns. In the sentence “I am fat,” “fat” modifies “I,” not “am,” because it is an adjective. You cannot fatly be, but you can be a fat person. See the difference? If you are going to engage ignorantly in grammar arguments on the internet, prepare for the real grammar people to correct you.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 28, 2014 at 6:52 pm

      Lol

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 28, 2014 at 6:56 pm

      Yep, you are correct, Real Grammar Person, except that it is ‘Internet’.

    • Quinn

      August 28, 2014 at 2:50 pm

      If a person is not fat but has fat, wouldn’t that make it a noun and not an adjective?

    • Sherri

      August 28, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      Correct, because the word fat as a noun means a natural oily or greasy substance occurring in animal bodies, especially when deposited as a layer under the skin or around certain organs. So, unless a person is an oily or greasy substance, they are not fat. Fat as an adjective means having a large amount of excess flesh. So, a person is not fat but has fat, using fat as both an noun and an adjective.

    • WriterLady

      August 28, 2014 at 4:54 pm

      Actually, the word “fat” can be used as a noun or an adjective. Example of the former: “Fat often accumulates around a person’s midsection as he or she ages.” In this case, the word “fat” functions as the subject of the sentence and serves as a noun.

      Although I personally disliked many aspects of being pregnant (especially the constant trips to the bathroom at work and in the middle of the night), my husband was absolutely wonderful most of the time, both in public and in private, during those difficult final months of pregnancy and beyond–even well into the newborn, infant, and toddler stages. Also, my husband loved my prego body as well, but I understand why some people–including both men and women–are simply more squeamish about that kind of thing. As far as sex is concerned, some men actually think they may be hurting the baby–particularly during the last trimester. For women, the sex may be uncomfortable, or they may simply be embarrassed by their ever-changing bodies. Now, if a guy is an outright asshole throughout the pregnancy, then that is likely a glaringly obvious warning sign of things to come.

      So, you’re absolutely correct in saying that generalizations regarding pregnancy are often inaccurate and even infuriating at times, but remember that it’s told from a single perspective–much like any one of the other articles you will read on any other mom-blogging sites.

    • Sherri

      August 28, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      I mentioned the noun version in another comment, but the noun version of the word “fat” isn’t what people generally are referring to when they say they’re fat. You can also use fat as a verb, although that’s archaic and sounds awkward in modern English. I was mostly referring to the way that hear most people tend to use it in conversation – the adjective fat has become a noun to define a person.

      But yeah, I get that it’s a single perspective. I just thought the tone of the article and the constant repetition of the word fat was really bad because the article came across as “if you’re fat you have nothing going for you” except that everyone has fat since 0% body fat generally just means you’re dead. 😐

    • WriterLady

      August 28, 2014 at 10:41 pm

      My bad! I must have missed your other post. I have a habit of reading through articles and comments at warp speed when I’m really busy, so I guess I should pay more attention to the full comment threads. 🙂

      And I agree that both the writing style and tone of the article are definitely off-putting. I’m not sure that this was intentional, but if the writer’s goal was to come across as extra snarky and witty, she definitely failed big-time.

    • Sherri

      August 28, 2014 at 10:51 pm

      No worries. 🙂 There are a ton of comments on this article, so it’s not surprising in the least.

      Yeah – definite fail, though. I think you’re right and that the author was trying to come off as snarky and witty and just… missed the mark. Completely.

  40. Blueathena623

    August 28, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    Extreme minority, but I liked it. Then again, I’m FAT and I don’t think FAT is a four-letter word. I got even more FAT during pregnancy, and I cried about it. I felt like I was starving all the time, and I craved greasy, fried foods (which I normally hate). And on the tv shows and the magazines and the maternity stores all you see are these tiny little things with basketballs under their shirts. Meanwhile, plus sized maternity wear is a fucking joke.
    To everyone who didn’t get FAT during pregnancy, congrats. You won the NOT FAT award. Your prize is that you are NOT FAT. I did not win that award so my consolation prize is an article that puts FAT in all caps and makes a running joke about HATING women who won the NOT FAT award. It’s a great day to be me.

    • Heather

      August 28, 2014 at 10:15 pm

      I’m fat too. And I was fat pregnant twice. And while plus size maternity was a pain in the huge ass to find, I STILL didn’t hate thin pregnant women. The prize they win at the end is the same I won, the baby we carried our whole pregnancies being born healthy. THAT is the prize, not getting out skinny.

    • Blueathena623

      August 29, 2014 at 9:01 am

      You know how fat people are treated. People who aren’t fat do get treated better in society. The term hate is used as hyperbole in this article, or do you think the author means it that *everyone* will love moms, as she states in point 10.
      I get that people don’t like this article, and I respect that, but it bothers me that people don’t realize that a million comments of “how DARE you suggest women get fat during pregnant! I didn’t get fat” IS FAT SHAMING.

  41. Quinn

    August 28, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    Sooo.

    OK.

    So wait.

    OK.

  42. emilyg25

    August 28, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    I get that this was supposed to be funny, but it just comes off as nasty and bitter.

  43. LB

    August 28, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Nice. So because I have gained only 12 pounds in my 32 weeks of pregnancy (not because I am starving myself…thanks) and continue to run because it keeps me happy and healthy I won’t be a “real mom?” Nice.
    And BTW I think pregnancy clothes are cute, and haven’t met any pregnant woman who doesn’t look great in them because…they’re pregnant and inherently lovely. Sorry that’s how I think of pregnant women- that all pregnant women are beautiful, but I guess that’s because my ideal of beauty isn’t the opposite of pregnancy? This article makes me worried that the author hates herself and her body after pregnancy when she really shouldn’t, she should be proud! 🙁

    • Blueathena623

      August 28, 2014 at 4:07 pm

      Did you see there were two pages to this article? I don’t think you read the second page.

  44. Guinevere

    August 28, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    This lady has gone through this 6 times. she must be a #martyr

  45. CMJ

    August 28, 2014 at 2:48 pm

  46. sera

    August 28, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Ok, I get it. Pregnancy is hard sometimes. I had horrible nausea for 4.5 months, worse depression, and reawakening body issues incomparable to any other time in my life. I haven’t gained that much weight in my first 24 weeks and yet I feel big. Huge even. Maybe it’s because I can’t see my crotch anymore, maybe it’s because I am actually bigger. People have asked me “are you sure it isn’t twins?” While I don’t have a problem with how other women, “skinny” and “fat”, look in their maternity clothes, I don’t feel like I look good. And frankly, I don’t like that people look at me for any reason let alone that I’m pregnant. I don’t want unsolicited advice, comments and (worst of all) belly rubs. I don’t feel sexy. I don’t feel much other than sciatica and heartburn and leg cramps. I don’t do much exercise other than walking (which yesterday made my feet feel so swollen I wasn’t sure I’d make it home) and thinking about yoga. Yes, I’m jealous of my friend the yoga instructor who at 8 months pregnant posted pictures on facebook of her pregnant head stands, but I don’t hate her for it. I wasn’t a yoga instructor before I got pregnant, so no, I have no question why I can’t do these things now.

    But you know, I think there is a better way to commiserate the sometimes scary, saddening, angering and just painful aspects of pregnancy without launching into an all out hate-fest of “FAT.” I think this article is more mean spirited than funny, and certainly not helpful to anyone who is currently feeling any of these difficulties. It certainly wasn’t positive for me to read.

  47. Brandy

    August 28, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    Has the author seen a therapist (aside from herself) for her eating disorder and self hatred?

    None of that stuff happened to me. Does she HATE me too? Yes. Yes she does.

  48. Jezebeelzebub

    August 28, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    sometimes (often… it’s pretty often, actually) I hate* everyone who is
    not experiencing something negligibly unpleasant while I am experiencing something negligibly
    unpleasant. Like if I have to clean up dog pee and you call me while I
    am cleaning up dog pee, if you are not also cleaning up dog pee… I
    will hate you. As soon as I am done cleaning up the dog pee, though, I won’t hate you anymore. But like when my mom died, I totally didn;t hate anyone whose mother was still alive just because my mom wasn’t. Because…. dog pee is such a small thing… I might wish dog pee on another person but I would never wish anything really BAD on anyone. (Unless they are terrible people, in which case I wish ALL the evil upon them.)

    *not really HATE, though. More like… mildly and humorously resentful and/or beign-ly bitter for very short periods of time.

    • Blueathena623

      August 28, 2014 at 4:05 pm

      I hate everyone who has M&M’s and/or doesn’t have dog fur all over their car and/or gets Bravo and can watch Extreme Parenting. There’s a lot of hate in me. Thank goodness I’m fat and can fit it all in.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 28, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      I also hate people who can afford a cable package and therefore Bravo and all the sports stations, because once I move to CA, I know my ability to wheedle my way into the home of a fellow Broncos fan on Game Day with promises of beer will become way more limited than they are here in Denver. 🙁 Also, I’ve got a double-XL Broncos sweatshirt in which to store my hate.

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 28, 2014 at 5:11 pm

      fuck those people too, then.

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 28, 2014 at 5:10 pm

      I hate those people, too. I also hate everyone who has nachos right now, because I wish *I* had nachos.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 28, 2014 at 5:18 pm

      High five. Preferably over nachos.

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

      August 29, 2014 at 8:00 am

      I’m late again… Don’t forget the margaritas!

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 29, 2014 at 10:05 am

      As long as there are still nachos and margaritas somewhere in the back, you’re always welcome to help keep the party going!

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

      August 29, 2014 at 10:34 am

      Yeah!!! It’s Friday and I’m in great…great…dire, really…need of a nacho platter w/ a side of delicious, frozen, taquilla’y goodness.

  49. keanesian

    August 28, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    HI guys! This Scary Mommy partnership is a test. IT IS ONLY A TEST. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiH8G0x2yWA

    • keanesian

      August 28, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      (ie: We’ll try to find a story you like more for next week!)

    • Heather

      August 28, 2014 at 10:22 pm

      Why? They have a site. It’s a VERY popular site with VERY wide distribution. If they feel they need help, I don’t feel like this is an appropriate outlet. I read both sites specifically because they are DIFFERENT. Scarymommy almost always has a more in your face attitude, whereas Mommyish has a more gossip column attitude. I don’t think there IS a good intersection of content that is worth cross-posting. Not to mention it will be irritating to those readers who regularly read ScaryMommy, and will just be seeing regurgitated content on your site.

  50. Upsilon

    August 28, 2014 at 7:09 pm

    Wow get a grip woman. I worked out until week 40 and guess what, none of my friends hated me. This whole list is so ugly and self loathing

  51. Marisa Quinn-Haisu

    August 28, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    I kept working out until the end but I changed things to become more gentle the further I got along. A day before I was induced I went swimming and did laps. I also did weights during my pregnancy and spin class. It’s a myth that you should not exercise during pregnancy. The only thing I gave up was riding my bike because I was scared of loosing my balance.

  52. Kathryn Mackenzie

    August 28, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    I hate when people refer to pregnant women as fat. Yes, some pregnant women do chub up a bit, all over – some don’t, but I hear it so often, even when the pregnant person in question has only the baby belly, no other fat anywhere.
    Unless you have put on actual huge amounts of weight that have nothing to do with the thing growing inside you, you are not fat. You are pregnant.

  53. js argh

    August 28, 2014 at 10:22 pm

    As someone who was compared to a truck backing up (complete with sound effect beeping) and was mooed at while pregnant, tell me again how this is funny, and not just the usual body-shaming insult lobbed at pregnant women. Oh, satire? Right. Try again.

  54. Antichristian

    August 28, 2014 at 11:28 pm

    Why was this piece of garbage published?

  55. Katie

    August 28, 2014 at 11:46 pm

    Articles like this actually really scare me away from having children. I guess that’s good, seeing as I’m only 22.

  56. Chrissy

    August 29, 2014 at 12:02 am

    This is bullshit. If you are growing an entirely new human inside your once fist sized uterus, eat whatever the fuck you want (in moderation.. Or not), exercise if you want, wear what the fuck you want, and tell your husband it doesn’t matter what he really thinks for 9 months +, he helped you get pregnant so it is his job to help you feel sexy while you grow his child. As long as you and your tiny tenant are healthy then do what makes you happy and DO NOT read garbage like this.

  57. shorty_RN

    August 29, 2014 at 12:30 am

    I think this was supposed to be satire, but it is poorly done and just comes across as fat-shamey. Fail.

  58. Pingback: Pregnancy doesn’t make you fat, it makes you pregnant | My Blog

  59. Shut Up

    September 4, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    This article is horrible. Who cares if others “HATE YOU”? Do you like you? That’s what matters.

  60. Kite

    September 25, 2014 at 1:14 am

    Thanks but no thanks for equating FAT with UNATTRACTIVE.

    Also, I’m FAT, but all I wanted to eat when I was most nauseous was salad with vinaigrette. (How can I still be FAT?)

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