I am new to this whole morning bus routine. For the last four years, I have left my house at 7:15 am with my kids to take them to daycare. That means our mornings were relatively short and the kids were on a very strict routine. Now that they ride the bus, we have a lot of free time each morning for them to drive me batty. Don't get me wrong- I'm grateful for the time I can spend with them and I'm so happy to not be paying for daycare anymore- but this new situation is bringing it's own unique set of challenges. Over the last few weeks, I have noticed that there are things that happen every morning before the school bus comes:
1. Someone Will Claim To Be Gravely Ill
Over the course of the morning, at least one of my minions will make an attempt at staying home sick. Nice try, kid. Not happening.
2. A Shirt Will Be Stained With Toothpaste
I try to make them brush their teeth topless but I'm usually busy and don't enforce it so, someone will wear a navy blue shirt, dribble toothpaste on it, throw on a hoodie immediately after so I don't see and then come home with a giant, dried-on, white toothpaste stain. That was there all day. Perfect.
3. An Item Will Be Lost
Each night, I try my level best to go through the backpacks before bedtime and make sure all homework, gym shoes and show-and-tell objects are where they need to be. At some point in the morning, the kindergartner goes through a backpack and plucks something out. The search for the missing item will take up the next 10 minutes.
4. A Library Book Will Be Forgotten
My daughter gets to pick two books each week and the little guy gets one at a time but this quarter, he has library twice a week. This means I am keeping track of four books each week. And we always seem to remember it's library day moments before the bus comes.
5. There Will Be A Problem With Their Snack
Packing a snack every day is basically the most annoying event of my morning. Little guy thought we had Angry Birds graham crackers. Big kid thought I bought apples but instead, there are baby carrots. It seems I can never get it right.
6. Someone Will Cry About Their Outfit
I would not go as far as saying my son has a fabric sensitivity, but he is extremely particular with his clothing. We pick out his outfit the night before but many mornings, there is a change of heart. 9 am wine should be a thing.
7. There Will Be A Puddle And Someone Will Step In It
It is the thick of fall where I live and it's been raining a lot and there are leaves all over the ground. On our 2-minute walk to the bus stop, there are several puddles concealed by a metric shit-ton of leaves and despite my best efforts, someone always steps in one.
8. Someone Will Need To Pee
My kids are famous for forgetting to pee before we leave and I am famous for forgetting to remind them to go pee before we leave. Someone is always telling me right as the bus pulls up that they have to pee RIGHT NOW. Good thing I leave an extra set of clothes for each of them at the nurse's office.
9. I Will Try Not To Lose My Shit
I don't know about the rest of you, but mornings are when my kids have the most energy. They are up with the chickens and then, the bus is not here until 8:45 am. This is close to three hours each day that they need to occupy themselves and usually, that means running in circles in the living room while I'm trying to get in my first sips of coffee and talking myself out of running away from home.
10. I Rejoice At The Sight Of That Yellow Savior
The moment the bus comes rambling down the road, I am filled with a joy I cannot explain. I love my children more than life but there is a reason that by the age of five, the government gently suggests that they be out of our care for a good seven hours each day. By the time I am walking to the bus stop to get them in the afternoon, I have just begun to miss them. And the cycle continues the next day.
(Image: Kris Yeager/Shutterstock)