There's Now a Spa for Babies Because People Will Pay for Anything

(Instagram / Baby Spa Perth)

When I think about people who need a day at the spa, I think of teachers, emergency room doctors, or parents of small children. I do NOT think about newborn babies, creatures who quite possibly have the cushiest existence on this planet. But there’s now a spa in Perth, Australia, dedicated entirely to patrons ages six months and younger, because apparently babies need to relax.

Baby Spa Perth is a sanctuary for babies and their parents (their words, not mine), offering hydrotherapy sessions, baby massage and support. Yeah, you can pay someone to give your baby ”” some as young as six days old ”” a massage. Gotta work out all the stress babies are carrying in their shoulders! The baby masseurs use grape seed oil that moisturizes the skin. Finally, someone has figured out how to make baby skin softer.

The most touted service at the spa for babies is hydrotherapy, a warm bath where the tiny little humans float around with a baby life preserver strapped to their necks. FOR REAL.

Baby Spa Perth’s website says that there is an actual benefit to babies floating around like human buoys. “Hydrotherapy supports mental and physical development and the development of your baby’s ability to move with control and act with purpose on land.” Because there’s nothing worse than a baby who doesn’t move around with purpose, am I right? Floating a baby around by the head will also somehow improve their balance and coordination, which will support their ability to crawl, walk and swim. Okay. If you say so.

This spa for babies will set back parents $85 for a session that includes hydrotherapy and massage. Or you can just light your money on fire, same difference. However, I do see one positive result from Baby Spa Perth: the most hilarious Instagram account EVER.