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The New Playground Discussion: Silver Balls, Butt Plugs & ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’

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mommy porn 50 shadesI’ve always learned a lot from doing the school run. Between all the parents (mostly moms) in various stages of parenthood, there’s always a new tip to pick up. How do you sleep train? What makes a better baby food puree – Magic Bullet or Vitamix? When will my child stop wetting the bed? How do you deal with tantrums? Lately, however, the trend in talk is less about parenting and more about where to find the best vibrator.

That’s right. With practically every mom in the schoolyard having finished or about to embark upon the “Fifty Shades” Trilogy (including Fifty Shades of Grey), talk is of nothing but the books. And it’s gone way beyond whether – or when – people plan on reading them. One woman I know confided she’s been masturbating non-stop for weeks and is currently on her second reading of the third book. Another ‘fessed up that she bought a set of nipple clamps. Even one of the teachers, upon overhearing yet another Fifty Shades conversation, smiled knowingly as she hurried to her car. Had she read the books, someone asked. “Damn right,” she replied, cheeks blushing hotly.

One of the best things to emerge from the popularity of the books is the openness with which we’ve all been chatting. About sex, obviously, but also about the accoutrements. Girly days at the spa have been replaced with outings to sex shops. Instead of moaning about their husbands, wives are sharing blow job tips. While the kids play soccer and climb the jungle gyms, the moms are comparing the Wild Orchid g-spot vibrator to the subtle, stylish Lelo range.

And it’s not just in the schoolyards. Soirees, salons and subway cars are filled with ladies offering up knowing looks and product advice, from blindfolds to butt plugs. One high-powered marketing exec told me that the ladies in her office gather in the boardroom to contemplate whether or not they preferred being tied up, or tying up their partners. An ex-flight attendant claims the secret to long-haul flights in friendly skies was the butterfly strap-on. After Googling it, I understood why. Screw the mile-high club with its getting caught risk factor! This was private pleasure any time…

Whether the books are literary masterpieces or just a cultural trend, one thing’s for sure – even the most uptight readers have loosened up on account of reading them. Where once women would only download them onto their e-readers, now they buy the books and read them with pride. “Mommy Wars” be damned – the chatter that has emerged from this trilogy online and in person has united us all. Now if only our partners would read it, too…

(Photo: CREATISTA/Shutterstock)

39 Comments

  1. Katie

    May 7, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    Im surprised at the number of articles on the front page of mommyish about this book at the moment.

    Im a librarian and thats one book that never gets loaned out at our branch, people just dismiss it as trash. I have to say, after reading it, it didnt get me going or get me to go out and buy more sex toys, it made me want to bang my head against the wall at the painful language it used.

    • Jm

      June 6, 2012 at 5:57 am

      That is probably because they are e-reading the book; Not something that many women would carry around with them in public.

    • Justme

      June 10, 2012 at 10:21 pm

      Probably because none of your patrons want to take out a book under the judgmental eye of their snobby librarian.

    • judgey judgerson

      July 8, 2012 at 7:46 pm

      Not to mention–who wants to get a porn book from the library? Pages are probably all stuck together.

  2. Tina

    May 7, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Maybe people who once looked upon the BDSM lifestyle as sick and wrong will look again.

    • jack sprat

      July 16, 2012 at 3:13 am

      This ain’t BDSM, honey. It’s straight-up sexual and physical abuse. The word for it is rape, with a touch of Stockholm Syndrome on the side.

      In BDSM, the power lies with the sub. This guy isn’t a dom, he’s a criminal. What’s more, he’s exploring his limits. It’s better than even money that he’ll go Dexter along the way.

    • Jo

      September 19, 2012 at 8:28 pm

      You need to get a grip. It is fantasy that turns into love and affection.It is obvious that you have not read the book(s) Until then comment on something you know not summize

  3. daisy

    May 7, 2012 at 11:48 pm

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  6. Cindy G

    May 18, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    If you are looking for the silver balls like they used in the book you can find them at Amazon.com and they are amazing. Click the link below to see them:

    http://amzn.to/L5lJMw

  7. yoyo

    May 18, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    I’m annoyed as hell that as usual, everyone in the country is jumping on the bandwagon of whatever is in fashion – only this time it’s kinky sex. I’m lucky enough to have a fulfilling sex life, and I guess I can empathize with women who haven’t had the opportunity to explore that side, but the way it’s being hyped right now just kinda makes us look a little pathetic. Just get cable tv or a subscription to Good Vibes catalog. It’s really just that easy.

    • MamaB

      May 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

      AMEN!

  8. Rodney

    May 19, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Glad everyone is deciding to not be so boring when it comes to sex. There is way more than just those silver balls. Best place to explore your “new” self is amazon’s Health section.
    Have fun.
    http://amzn.to/ben-wa-balls-beads

  9. Shuggbaby

    May 22, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    Hmm guess I gotta read that book to judge it sounds interesting to say in the least guess Im a little outta touch no pun intended.

  10. Hannah R

    June 2, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    My husband bought some of the silver balls that are used in the book and they are pretty amazing. If you are looking for some I would recommend these as they are surgical stainless steel and easy to clean. Check out the link below to see the listing on Amazon.

    http://amzn.to/KUc79w

    • michelle

      June 6, 2012 at 8:13 pm

      would you know what those silver balls are actually called. the amazon link does not work here in my office 🙁

    • Katie F

      June 11, 2012 at 7:54 am

      The link above is apparently not working but you can find them at the link below. I guess they are called ben wa balls but they are made of different materials. Honestly, I would only use these stainless steel ones listed on Amazon because they would be easy to sterilize. Some of the others would be too hard to keep clean.

      http://amzn.to/KndG3J

  11. Cassie

    June 10, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    @katie: You must live in a prudish town. I live in a southern Baptist Bible belt town and there’s still a LONG waiting list at every one of our libraries.

  12. Eva

    June 19, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    I agree! I love the Fifty Shades Silver Balls! Amazing.. I know there are lots of them out there, but I bought the ones that come on a cord like in the book! I got them at http://www.fiftyshadesofadulttoys.com

  13. Eva

    June 19, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    I bought my Fifty Shades Silver Balls that are actually on a cord like in the book at http://www.FiftyShadesOfAdultToys.com. I love them:)

  14. lucas gravely

    June 25, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    The books are a horrible glamorization of an abusive relationship. The book started out as a Twilight fanfiction and you can tell in the writing. The series also advocates NOT unsafe BDSM practices.

  15. anon

    June 25, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    The series was awful. Absolutely poisonous, and I am disgusted that people are accepting this as romantic or kinky inspiration for their own lives.

    Abuse is abuse is abuse. People don’t magically turn around from being THIS kind of asshole to being a good, loving father. Change is possible, but ~true love~ isn’t enough to do it. Especially when that ~true love~ is based around a need to conquer and control and hurt.

    Never forget – this is how their relationship started. This is who he is. A sex-crazed, control-freak, stalker, sadist, abuser. Any and all progress he made was always temporary, sitting on a hair-trigger. He was only a good person when times were good. When he was getting his way. When there was no stress or conflict. That never changed.

    He will be a terrible father, just as he was a terrible boyfriend, a terrible Dom, and a terrible husband.

    I believe change is possible, but what this series teaches us is that you can change an abuser by loving him, excusing away all of his abuse, apologizing, capitulating, groveling for forgiveness. He never really has to answer for anything he does to Ana, no matter how awful. He tends to break down into a mess when he’s done terrorizing her, and she always ends up comforting him. Always.

    Fuck you, E. L. James. You’ve done what Stephenie Meyer only dreamed of doing. You took a story that made abuse sound exciting and romantic, and you made it sound sexy.

  16. Open mind

    June 27, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    Haha I laugh at all of you who are “disgusted” in the book. It’s a book! It’s not real life! Calm down and open your…. Mind. You probably all think that video games create murderers too…Relax a little, jeez!

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  18. Amy

    July 17, 2012 at 6:54 am

    I don’t see what all the fuss is about with not wanting to be seen in public with it I very comfortably sat in my daughters dance lesson reading it and as for those who say it is trash they obviously have little imagination.

  19. Thetruth1112

    July 22, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    “Inside The 50 Shades of Grey – The True Hollywood Story” 

    One of the reasons The 50 shades of Grey Book Series has become a Phenomena with females ages 20-40 ,  Is because most have a sub conscious desired to be Rescued & swept off their feet by A Wealthy  , Accomplished , Worldly Katt who can bring out their Hidden Sexual Fantasies.  

    The plot is so cliche and indicative of where our Society has become that it’s popular  , no different than NBA Baller Groupies & The House Wife Series . Lol 

    The Irony is ,the Real story is the child hood abuse of Christian Grey that is the driven force of the story has him engaging  Anastasia Steele in BSDM acts making women all over the Country Horny aka wet , foreplay for their Dude . They should send the Author EL James Flowers for their ladies new Sexual Revial . Lol 

    The fact this dude Christian Grey  is A sick puppy , takes a back seat to his Wealth/ Power & Anastasia ‘s orgasms . lol 

    U would think with All The Buzz it’s a New Story , with New Ideas , buts it’s Classic  Rich Guy abused , using $$$ to suppress his Emotional Scars victimizing a precocious young college student. 

    The only thing she has to offer is her Innocence & that’s what he gets off on ,the Same Innocence he lost to his Abuser . 

    The Victim becomes the Victimizer, which is Text book for A lower Division Psych Major . 

    The rest of the book is just the Logistics our Generation seems to be Entertained & Distracted by , the private jets , & $$ $ many wish they had .  

    The irony is many will read all 3 books & still believe Grey wanted Anastasia’s body , when he was using Control Of her mind to reconcile his Past Abuse , because inside he was dying A Slow Death & his $$$ couldn’t save him . 

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  23. James Synkgar

    August 28, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    Fifty shades is erotica plain and simple, the irony is that the same wome reading this and defenidng it are usually the ones that lay men n the chopping block for reading porn mags

  24. Tonya Callihan

    September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    Fifty Shades of Grey was a great series of books. I loved them. Made me feel as a mom that hey I can still have a little fun 😉 Just want to let all of you Fifty lovers I have found a new series. Book 1 just came out August 24th and so far it’s better. If I Were You by Lisa Renee Jones…it’s Fifty Shades of Grey meet Basic Instinct you should check it out.

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    October 20, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Forget 50 Shades of Bleh and read this: mysexlifewithlola

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  30. Joshuahinny

    June 22, 2020 at 8:24 am

    Secrets and Inequality encircle Ugandan Women

    A nurse shows that how to use a condom at Christa Medical Clinic in Jinja, Uganda. compliment: Lyndal Rowlands/IPS.

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    When I ask Mambera and her friend Kyolaba Amina the expense of a woman or a man who decides to wear a condom, Kyolaba giggles softly at my predicament,It is difficult for a woman to initiate condom use because it will bring about questions of trust, affirms Mambera. “The man would ask the wife if she is unable to trust him,

    Kyolaba though has deeper suspicions, Adding that males “deliberately want to infect their wives,

    “i’m not sure why men do that but I have seen a case where a woman and a man had discordant (HIV) Results but the man did not desire to use condoms because before they were having unprotected sex, the actual reason why (struggle to) now,

    Kyolaba (left out) or Mambera (adequate) Both also speak to men about birth control, But Mambera says that a number men are “Not involved,

    In a country where many myths abound around birth control methods and their side effects, the favorite forms of contraception for the women in this community aredepo provera “depo” And intrauterine guitar (IUD) augmentations.

    “You find many women who have children every year, So it is such women we get in touch with, speaks Mambera.

    Some women even prefer IUDs or depo because unlike condoms they can keep them secret off their husbands,And this is only some of the aspect of their sex liveswhich women keepsecret, SaysKyolaba:

    “We do discussion HIV and tell the women to go for testing but many women are afraid to tell their husbands about this thing and they do secretly come for testing. Have an example of my neighbour who came to the clinic and tested positive but has kept this as a secret, Not told her husband, Because it can result in violence in the home, she says.

    As I speak to Mambera and Kyolaba in the backyard of the Christa clinic in Jinja, Uganda, A group of women cradling babies on their laps watch as a nurse demonstrates how to use a condom. The clinic serves a poor community near the banks of Lake Victoria and dealing with of the Nile river providing free and low cost family planning services.

    Services honest safe music downloads are patchy at best inUganda which has one of the highest birth rates in the world: The average Ugandan women can birth to six babies during her lifetime.

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    Young women have grown to be HIV positive much younger than their male peers.

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    A young woman within ages of 15 to 24 is more than twice as likely as a young man in the same age range to be HIV positive. based on the latest available statistics from 2011, 4.9 percent of along with girls between these ages will be HIV positive, instead of only 2.1 portion of men, With sharp rises for girls between your ages of 15 and 21.

    Without being allowed to influence whether their sexual partner wears a condom, These younger ladies have little ability to protect themselves frombecoming HIV positive, Since condoms are the only form of contraceptive which also protects against sexually transmitted infections and diseases.

    medical professional Akinyele Eric Dairo, Officer responsible for the UN Family Planning Agency, UNFPA, in the Uganda, Agrees with Mambera’s observations that women have less influence over condom use than men.

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    Dairo addsthat the preference for other forms of contraceptive also reflects young unmarried women’s fears of pregnancy.

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    Catherine a nurse at Jinja reference hospital, Likes to put herself in the shoes of her young victims. credit ranking: Lyndal Rowlands/IPS.

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    Theincreased availability of antiretrovirals has ledto significant progress in combating AIDS in Sub Saharan Africa, However this progress could potentiallybe set back if prevention efforts among a market as large as adolescent girlscontinue to fail.

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