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TGI Friday Open Thread: How Old Were You When You First Got Wasted?

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crunk2How old were you when you first got wasted? As the mother of a teenager I am not asking for me, I am totally asking for a friend. I was around 15 and I went to the cemetery by our house and drank a mess of warm Andre Cold Duck and ended up puking all over a pair of ostrich skin boots which were the coolest thing ever that my cousin had given me as a gift. My friends helped me stumble home and my mom was VERY disappointed but she held my hair back when I puked and made me a cheese sandwich to try and absorb all of the pukey cheapo booze swilling in my stomach. NOT FUN.

Now that I’m a professional drinker I no longer have this problem, but I keep thinking about all the times I drank as a teen and how my own kid will eventually do this. Noooooooo. It wasn’t like I drank every day but it was definitely more than that one time. So tell me, how old were you when you first consumed the happy juice? Who were you with? What happened? Did you get busted? And most importantly, were you listening to Van Halen and/or something else lame? Please say yes.

Also, we need to address two very important things, one is this which our beloved CMJ created:

And the other is this:

Screen Shot 2013-09-20 at 3.26.22 PM

I’m sorry we don’t have matching jackets, but I made us an image in case we need to inform people!

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So, teenage drinking stories go go go!!

(Image: Everett Collection/shutterstock)

69 Comments

  1. Cee

    September 20, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    15ish? I was rehearsing for my cousin’s quinceanera and my grandmother completely encouraged it. I believe her exact words were “drink it, you pussy!” as she handed me the tequila. And, well, I ain’t no pussy. And I tolerated all my cousin’s diva requests much better after that.

    • Eve Vawter

      September 20, 2013 at 4:40 pm

      This is why when we get in switchblade street gang fights I always hide behind your petticoats

    • Cee

      September 20, 2013 at 4:46 pm

      Haha! My family just has a lot of women. My grandmother had 4 girls and a boy, they went on to have 9 girls and two boys, and now those grand kids have recently had girls. My grandma didn’t want to “raise sissies.” She babysat all of us, so she raised us pretty tough, almost “guyish.” So were all pretty much badasses. SO…I got your back!

    • Eve Vawter

      September 20, 2013 at 4:58 pm

      we need to have a ‘when I was a girl” series on Mommyish because I need to hear a lllllllll your stories

    • EmmaFromÉire

      September 20, 2013 at 4:53 pm

      Well if that didn’t earn her a world’s greatest grandmother award, I dunno what would.

  2. Allyson_et_al

    September 20, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    Ok, here goes: I had just turned 15. It was after school at my boyfriend’s house. We listened to Rush (lame enough for you, Eve?), drank huge glasses of Jack Daniels, and I lost my virginity. I ended up passing out in his neighbor’s driveway, where I was rescued by the high school senior who lived there. I was soooo mortified. Not a good day. The only bright side was that, while my parents were pissed because I came home late, they didn’t realize I was drunk. I am in for some serious bad karma when my almost-13-year-old daughter hits high school, aren’t I?

    • Blooming_Babies

      September 20, 2013 at 7:52 pm

      Yes, yes you are. Be kind but firm 🙂

  3. Tea

    September 20, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    Two weeks shy of my 21st birthday, hanging out an artist friend’s house. She figured I was close enough, and she’d have to drive me back to the dorms anyway.

    And that was how I passed my final portfolio evaluation for that semester, with 12 wasted paintings done all night.

  4. EmmaFromÉire

    September 20, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    16. And the sad thing is, I was one of the last in my group of friends to try drinking. Though I suppose in Ireland 18 isn’t so much the legal drinking age as a rough guideline…

    Bonus adult Emma drinking story- I met my boyfriends family for the first time last weekend, and his dad spent the entire night buying me vodka cranberries. Boyfriend drove me home, where i stumbled barefoot into the house and had a forty minute laughing fit on front of my mother. She has no idea why I was laughing, nor does my boyfriend. She even videoed it, i’m like a Tickle Me Elmo, singing along to a Johnny Cash programme. It’s wonderful.

    I also woke up the next morning to find spoons in the fridge, and the remains of a cup of ”coffee” which consisted of water and milk with a spoon in it.

    • Eve Vawter

      September 20, 2013 at 5:00 pm

      I think we all need to see this Tickle Me Emma video post haste

    • EmmaFromÉire

      September 20, 2013 at 5:04 pm

      honestly if i could upload it to here I would, it’s that wonderful, but sadly youtube uploading utterly defeats me!

  5. Paul White

    September 20, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    Hmm.
    I can’t remember, probably 22 or 23 when I first got drunk. I’d been a little tipsy before but not drunk. Drank most of a bottle of Finlandia mixed with purple gatorade over the course of an hour and hated life for the next 2-3 days.

  6. Angela

    September 20, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    OK, so I’m a bit embarrassed to admit just how boring I actually am but the truth is that I’ve never been wasted. When I was a teen I was a good little mormon girl who never did anything. When I was in my 20’s I broke ties with the church and now will have an occasional glass of wine but nothing more. Even if it hadn’t been for the religious stuff I still don’t know that I would have drank. I probably would have been curious but the truth is that I’m pretty introverted. I hate big, loud parties and the thought of clubbing has never appealed to me.

    Do you want to hear the lamest part of it all? I worry that I made a mistake by not having a wild past because if/when my own kids start to rebel I won’t be able to relate. Is that fucked up or what?

    • Eve Vawter

      September 20, 2013 at 4:57 pm

      TBH I think this is all fabulous. Being wasted is NOT fun. Tipsy, on the other hand..

    • Angela

      September 20, 2013 at 5:04 pm

      True, and the good news about having a remarkably unabused liver is that it only takes 1 glass of wine to get me there!

    • Rachel Sea

      September 20, 2013 at 5:39 pm

      The wisest thing my stoner dad ever told me was that the goal is to catch a buzz, and then maaaintaaaaain.

    • Blooming_Babies

      September 20, 2013 at 7:57 pm

      Love this

    • Justme

      September 20, 2013 at 8:02 pm

      From the way you wrote that….was your dad Wooderson from Dazed and Confused?

      (Matthew McConaughey’s role, FYI)

    • Rachel Sea

      September 20, 2013 at 11:20 pm

      LOL. No, more like Slaterson.

    • Justme

      September 20, 2013 at 11:26 pm

      Ah, I see. I just pictured the “maintain” said in the same manner as “Alright, alright, alright.”

    • Rachel Sea

      September 20, 2013 at 11:37 pm

      Think more: “George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens.”

    • Justme

      September 20, 2013 at 11:52 pm

      Gotcha.

      I sure do love that movie. I watched it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. of my freshman year of college…

    • Rachel Sea

      September 21, 2013 at 12:12 am

      When I was in high school, I put it on to fall asleep to most nights.

    • staferny

      September 20, 2013 at 5:53 pm

      I recently found out that you CAN put a lid back on the bottle after it’s been opened, I wish someone would have told me that 15 years ago.

    • Toaster

      September 20, 2013 at 5:34 pm

      My husband has never been wasted either! I’d say it’s one of those life experiences that’s worth a pass.

  7. G.E. Phillips

    September 20, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    I was 13, and staying over at a friend’s house for the weekend–no idea where her parents were at the time. Her older brother and his friends gave us peppermint schnapps. I drank so much that I wound up passing out, and woke up the brother and friends trying to give me a (thankfully fully clothed) shower to revive me. No adults found out and there were no repercussions (although ironically, her dad was a cop) but I felt so awful that I didn’t try drinking again until maybe senior year. Definitely smoked a lot of weed, though.

  8. DatNanny

    September 20, 2013 at 5:12 pm

    I’m 21. I have yet to be wasted. I will have a drink or two on occasion, and the most I will concede to getting is highly tipsy. (After a vodka cranberry + half of a strong margarita) I’m quite aware of what would tip me over the threshold and I don’t have a desire to go beyond it.

    I come from a family of social drinkers. They always set an example for responsible drinking, I’ve never witnessed irresponsible or dangerous drinking from my family, while always being upfront about alcohol and never trying to scare/ban it, but being very clear of the dangers of alcohol + driving.

    (Not to say they were a ‘give alcohol to the teenagers!’ family. They would never. But if I had ever asked to taste something, they probably would have let me, as they recognize teens are more likely to do something you forbid completely.)

    The most important thing, they thing I am absolutely astonished more parents don’t do, is making it extremely clear to my brother and I that if we were EVER in a situation where we needed to get home, whether we weren’t safe or we couldn’t get home safely, they would pick us up, no questions asked. Seriously, do this for your kids, every parent of teenagers. They’ll be less likely to act or drink irresponsibly in the first place, and if they do, they won’t end up dead because they were too afraid to call and thought they were better off driving home.

    • Eve Vawter

      September 20, 2013 at 5:15 pm

      Oh word, I tell my son that allllll the time. I tell him if he calls me drunk because he needs a ride, he will get in no trouble. If I find out he was drunk in a car? That’s the end of him.

    • Blooming_Babies

      September 20, 2013 at 7:55 pm

      That’s my rule. My moms speech was something like “you’re going to do stupid things, that’s ok, when you are in trouble call me first I won’t care how stupid you’ve been.”

    • Wendy

      September 20, 2013 at 5:43 pm

      I lost a classmate and friend in high school because I guess she was afraid to call her parents. I still wish she had called me at least.

  9. Rachel Sea

    September 20, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    I was 13, I think. I worked the Renaissance Faire from childhood, which made it a super safe space for me (200 big brothers and sisters, all of whom were armed, and a quarter of whom could really use their weaponry), and I looked a lot older than I was. The woman who handed me the mug of Guinness probably thought I was 16, so still too young, but who cared? I didn’t get wasted, but I got a nice buzz, and it was my first step into learning about drinking things that tasted good, in moderation, because vomiting into a porta-potty is for amateurs and losers.

    • Eve Vawter

      September 20, 2013 at 5:16 pm

      You were drinking meade or some shiz

    • Rachel Sea

      September 20, 2013 at 5:17 pm

      LOL People totally did, but not me. I had a taste for single malt scotch.

    • Eve Vawter

      September 20, 2013 at 5:19 pm

      LOL, I think you need to upload baby you renn fest pics now!

    • Rachel Sea

      September 20, 2013 at 5:22 pm

      I wish I had some, I think they were nicked by one of my looney relatives. I did recently find a portrait of my cousin, which was taken by serial killer Leonard Lake. He was the photographer at a booth that would take your picture with the “unicorn,” a goat with horns forced to grow together.

    • Eve Vawter

      September 20, 2013 at 6:02 pm

      OMG for reals?

    • Rachel Sea

      September 20, 2013 at 11:34 pm

      No joke. Here’s Leonard, his second wife, and Lancelot the goaticorn. Lancelot was also famous, but not for murder. Ringling Brothers bought him around the same time Leonard was caught.

  10. disqus_RcnfTzAghr

    September 20, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    12. Family party. I believe my mother has the whole event on video. Damn.

  11. staferny

    September 20, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    I rang in my 15th birthday like a rockstar, at least it felt like it at that time. Myself and 4 of my friends went splitsies on a couple of 26’ers of the cheapest whiskey you could get and a pack of cigarettes. Since none of us had real jobs and therefore could not afford mix, friend #1 was in charge of bringing some pop to our ‘party’ from her parent’s house, she managed to scrounge up 2 cans of coke. We met up at friend #2’s house, her parent’s were (are) huge stoners and we could come and go as we pleased without question, the downside is that she lived out of town so there really was nowhere to go… except the graveyard.
    We busted out our booze and mix but since we didn’t think to bring cups we took turns passing around the bottle and the can and would take a sip of each and then shake our heads to mix them up in our mouth. I don’t know if it was all of the smoking, drinking (we managed to finish a bottle and a half) or the milk that we drank at the insistance from friend #3 that it would “line our stomach so the alcohol won’t hit us too fast and we can party longer”, but #3 and #4 went back to the house to sleep it off while the other 3 of us were completely incapacitated, only moving far enough to take turns crawling to the garbage can to throw up, not into the garbage because we couldn’t stand without falling. I slept in the graveyard that night, and walked backed shoeless, with crunchy/stinky hair when the sun came up. I still can’t even smell whisky without my stomach flipping.

    • staferny

      September 20, 2013 at 5:33 pm

      Wow, that’s longer than I thought it would be. Sorry!

    • Rachel Sea

      September 20, 2013 at 5:35 pm

      The one time I’ve ever been sick from drinking was off cheap whisky. I did a shooter to be sociable, and I swear it hit the bottom of my stomach and bounced. It was a lucky thing the bathroom was only steps from the kitchen in my wee apartment.

    • staferny

      September 20, 2013 at 5:48 pm

      A friend of mine has a super small/old bathroom, you can sit on the toilet lid and rest your head in the sink, great for ricocheting shots. She’s renovating it this year, so I’m going to have to learn how to drink responsibly 🙁

    • Eve Vawter

      September 20, 2013 at 6:02 pm

      Graveyard drinkers 4ever!

  12. Toaster

    September 20, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    I got drunk for the first time at prom when I was 17. My parents made fun of me the next day. Looking back now I feel bad about the few times I did get wasted in my late teens/early 20s because I come from a long line of alcoholics on both sides of my family and I probably scared the bejesus out of my mom.

  13. jendra_berri

    September 20, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    I was 16 and I drank a few Mike’s Hard Lemonades that my best friend procured for us before my high school’s semi-formal in grade 11. I had a great time, waved at the vice-principal boisterously before being shoved into the dance to hide me, and totally got away with it. I also chased after a boy I thought was cute with a disposable camera taking pictures of him.
    Ah, memories.

  14. Snarktopus

    September 20, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    21. I was always lame.

  15. TngldBlue

    September 20, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    I was 16. I went to little sisters weekend at my brothers college, bonged beer for the first time and ended up hanging out his bedroom window throwing up for an hour while a couple made out in the bed behind me. Good times.

  16. Ashley

    September 20, 2013 at 6:45 pm

    I had my first drink when I was 19, and didn’t get wasted until my 21st birthday. My mom totally got me blackout drunk. From what I remember, I had a good time! Don’t like getting that drunk, though, for obvious reasons.

    I never drank in high school for three reasons: 1. I just wasn’t interested. I didn’t “get it.” I’ve chilled out a LOT since then in regards to alcohol and pot. 2. Alcoholism runs in my family, and I was scared. 3. None of my friends did it, so there wasn’t really any incentive/pressure.

  17. NicknamesAreDull

    September 20, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    I was about 15, at Thanksgiving with my family. We’re allowed to drink in my family at 15, and I kinda overdid it and now every year, it’s brought up.

  18. Blooming_Babies

    September 20, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    First half glass, champagne at 11 with my parents. First time wasted, 16 New Year’s Eve drank a whole bottle of white wine through a long straw. Tried unsuccessfully to have a three way with my boyfriend and some girl (my idea) but never puked. My parents would buy small amounts of alcohol for me and select friends I we stayed in at our house so I never had the urge to steal a bottle and hide somewhere.

  19. Justme

    September 20, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    I was 16 and a junior in high school. A six pack of Zima and I was toasted. I threw up and dry-heaved all night while my mother held my hair back. She then woke me up at 8:00 in the morning with a long list of chores. I was grounded for a month.

  20. Annie

    September 20, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    10. I was at a cousin’s wedding and there was ALL THE BOOZE in the punch, and the reception hall was so dark that I was able to keep going back and sneaking more.

    I learned a very important lesson that night: No amount of hard liquor will make The Dixie Chicks enjoyable.

  21. EX

    September 20, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    Hey! That’s me! Eve, you just made my night! I’m not sure what that says about my Friday night…

  22. allisonjayne

    September 20, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    I was a pretty boring, responsible kid until I hit 17.5 years old. So my first time was somewhere around that age, drunk off vodka coolers that my friend’s mom (the cool mom) bought…we were having a sleepover. It was parent-sanctioned so y’know, no crazy stories.

  23. EX

    September 20, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    As for drinking, I had my first sips around 12 and got drunk the first time at 14. I had older cousins. They were bad news. I’m gonna have to keep my daughter away from her older cousins between the ages of 12 and 18.

  24. Alex

    September 20, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    13. I was at home with my parents. I was drinking wine and swinging my head around because it enhanced the drunk feeling. I remember running around the house flipping my head everywhere. I got to sleep with my mom that night. Through my teen years I never once got drunk without my parents around. In fact I was probably 22-23 and moved out by the time I was drunk without them.

  25. Muggle

    September 20, 2013 at 9:29 pm

    The first time I got buzzed, I was 18 and actually with my parents. But my parents occasionally gave me alcoholic drinks on the condition that I didn’t drive anywhere and didn’t drink too much. So one afternoon I had a drink with them… but after I’d taken medication for my Tourette Syndrome. Nothing bad happened, but I was pretty drunk and needed someone to drive me to the gas station to get gas so I could drive to school the next day. D:

    I didn’t start drinking without them until I was 19 and on summer break from college. And I never got truly wasted until… actually, I think it was my 21st birthday. o.o

  26. justme

    September 20, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    I had just turned 14, went to a this dance out in the country (we are talking very rural) at a community hall, with my older bro and his friends. I had about 4 drinks and got all boozy. They took very good care of me and it all turned out ok. My parents didn’t find out. They did the next time a few months later though!
    It took me a very long time to learn that very hard lesson that having 2-3 drinks is a much better alternative to getting wasted. Like about 10 years.. Slow learning curve..

  27. personal

    September 21, 2013 at 4:21 am

    15

  28. Plonk

    September 21, 2013 at 7:51 am

    I was 9. A great-aunt got me and my muslim friend (also 9, and I still feel bad about that) drunk during dinner, with the blessing of my parents who were by that point pretty wasted too. Everyone thought it was hilarious but the day after was truely awful. Before that I would sometime drink half glasses of things, but since then I’ve been pretty much a teetotaler. Most alcohols just smell terrible if you ask me.

    My father beats everyone, I’m afraid. He was six, and sneaked into the dinning room after a party and decided to finish every single glass (of wich there were a lot).

  29. AmazingE

    September 21, 2013 at 9:19 am

    I had my first drink at 12, but I didn’t get wasted until I was 16. I jokingly said to my then bf’s uncle “I’ll have a rum and coke” when asked what I wanted to drink. I didn’t expect to get served, so I was shocked when that’s what he brought me about five minutes later. I made it home eventually and all my mother said was “If you puke, you clean it.” I didn’t drink much in my late teens/early twenties, but between 23-24 I suddenly developed a taste for it, which oddly enough mostly disappeared when I had my oldest in 05. I’ll still have a drink every now and then, but for the most part I prefer *ahem* “herbal supplements*.

  30. Copperkroewe

    September 21, 2013 at 9:40 am

    I was 15 and it was purple passion and I was watching Rocky horror picture show

  31. Jennifer Dreyer

    September 21, 2013 at 11:53 am

    I was 15 and was drinking some cheap Colt 45 because I didn’t know the difference between good and bad beers. I expected to feel drunk faster than I did so I proceeded to do a shot of whiskey. Yes, I did end up barfing and passed out on the floor of the bathroom. That particular friend did not invite me to any more of her parties after that.

  32. Helen Hyde

    September 21, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    I drank low-alcohol drinks for as long as I can remember. So… I think alcohol is seen differently in my neck if the woods 😀

  33. Kat

    September 21, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    I think I was 14. I was at a friend’s house. The usual.

    However, the friend whose house I was at was a “good kid” and very naive. She didn’t even know the rest of us had stolen her parents’ liquor.

    I’m grateful for this now of course. When my kids go to a friend’s house and I want to say, “he/she would never do that,” I’ll think again!

  34. doxgukka

    September 23, 2013 at 1:09 am

    more towards 16-17 but legal drinking age in Australia is 18 so really I didn’t have all that much longer to wait. By the time I hit 21/22 I was pretty much over it. I rarely drink now, and I kind of miss it haha.

    It was also when I changed high schools, I guess I was hanging out with a rougher crowd?

    I was also raised Mormon, so I don’t know if that made me want to rebel more. I was a daytime drinker at 17 and didn’t care if I was the only one getting smashed. I have many the story to tell.

  35. bowlingshoes

    September 23, 2013 at 11:45 am

    13…though I should flag that I live in the UK, where it’s pretty common for teenagers to drink and having to produce ID to buy alcohol is not quite so regimented as it is in the US.
    Reaaally cheap cider. Initially behind a bus-stop, then back to the house of a boy whose parents had gone out for the night. There was definitely some vomiting.

    The evening ended with a group of us desperately trying to sober up a friend (whose Greek Cypriot parents were especially strict) before her mother picked her up. We very nearly made it, but as we opened the door to the mother with bright smiley faces and the drunk friend propped up between two of us, another drunk teenage friend fell over directly behind us, thus arousing suspicions of strict mother immediately. Frowns and groundings followed shortly.

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