Angsty Teens Are Sharing Photos Of Gross School Lunches On Twitter, Tagging #ThanksMichelleObama
Ah, school lunches. I have many a fond memory of swapping high school gossip over a deep-fried chicken patty and crisp French fries, topped off with a buttery macadamia nut cookie pretty much every single day. I think this also explains why, when it came to my afternoon classes, I was in a catatonic food coma state and barely passed Geometry. And why I kept up on those habits all the way through college, where the food groups consisted of Fried and Fatty. It was delicious, to be sure. But can we all please agree that no one–especially not growing kids–should be eating French fries every single day? Come on now.
Which brings us to the latest in angsty teen Twitter hate in the form of ‘#ThanksMichelleObama‘, where unhappy teens bemoan their current school lunches and yearn for the days of unhealthy, obesity-driven habits. While I agree some of the photos they’re sharing are definitely unappetizing, I wish it was clear to these kids that their gripe isn’t with Michelle Obama; it’s with their own schools’ lax interpretation of USDA regulations. Congress has set school food rules that require school lunches to consist of more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Which is good! Except when schools take that to mean they can serve warm piles of poo that look like this:
— Jess Sency (@Jess_Sency) November 21, 2014
Okay, that wouldn’t even be enough food to hold me over in between meals.
— Erin Harris (@Erin1Harris) November 21, 2014
But it’s a Thanksgiving FEAST! For…rodents?
— hard pa$$ (@idkaysia) November 21, 2014
Okay, I’ve seen Playskool kitchen food that looks more appetizing. Is that even real bread?!
Look, kids, we get it. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen photos of your sad school lunches. I’m not even sure drunk, 22-year-old me would choke some of that shit down (lies). But your real gripe isn’t with the First Lady. It’s with your school. Something is getting lost in translation here (an understatement of the highest order), because I doubt this is what she had in mind for you. Your fun hashtag game just makes you look ignorant and has now cemented itself on your digital footprint for all eternity. I’m sorry your school lunch program is equivalent to that of a maximum security prison inmate’s.
The lesson of this particular Aesop’s fable? PACK YOUR LUNCH AND QUIT WHINING.