mom fun

10 Reasons Tacos Are Way Better Than Teenagers

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taco tuesday with teensListen, I have nothing against Wednesday, alright? People call it hump day, and that of course appeals to the part of my brain that also thinks “jumbo weiners” are hilarious, so it’s not as though I have anything against Wednesday. It’s just that Tuesday holds a very special place in my heart; a holdover from days long past in the elementary school when we would all crowd in with our taco shells lined up on our tray, waiting for some greasy “meat” to be spooned in. Taco Tuesday. A day of wonderment and possibility. A day of joy and hope. A day of queso and pico. A day of healing.

In honor of taco Tuesday, I like to come up with lists of things that are not as good as tacos. As you can imagine, this is not particularly hard to do. I could spin wildly about my writey-room, lob a dart off into space and anything that it hit would still not be as good as tacos. Today I hit a teenager.

1. Tacos will never sneak off to smoke pot in that one abandoned trailer in the woods.

delicious tacos

(bonchan/Shutterstock)

2. Because tacos understand and accept their own mortality, they don’t go through a dark stage with bad music and guyliner.

3. Teens should not be paired with beers, while tacos most definitely should be paired with beers.

(pilipphoto/Shutterstock)

(pilipphoto/Shutterstock)

4. When a teenager talks back, you can not silence it by eating it. 

5. Tacos never form cliques or post mean things about their taco friends on TacoBook.

(Joshua Resnick/Shutterstock)

(Joshua Resnick/Shutterstock)

6. Even if tacos could have unprotected sex, the only consequence would be delightful baby tacos.

7. If you want to send a taco to college, you just walk it over to the campus in a bag. You can’t do this with teenagers. They don’t fit in bags and it costs a lot of money.

shutterstock_188625119

(maraze/shutterstock)

8. Tacos rarely rebel against you with swear words and promises to never speak to you again.

9. You don’t have to pretend to give a shit about the extracurricular activities or achievements of tacos.

shutterstock_104788439

(Olga Nayashkova/Shutterstock)

10. It is extremely unlikely that you will ever have to have any residual awkwardness with a taco because you walked in on it having some special “taco time”. 

(Image: Olga Nayashkova/Shutterstock)

23 Comments

  1. Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

    July 8, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    3. Teens should not be paired with beers, while tacos most definitely should be paired with beers.

    I don’t know that I agree. If you are the parent of a teenager/teenagers, then I must say, you get all the beers. All of them.

  2. Eve Vawter

    July 8, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    SPECIAL TACO TIME ALSO I WANT TACO BABIES

    • Theresa Edwards

      July 8, 2014 at 3:12 pm

      baby tacos mmmm

    • Snarktopus

      July 8, 2014 at 6:57 pm

      So, Special Taco Time is how I’m gonna refer to masturbation now.

  3. Alex Lee

    July 8, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    Tacobook.com just opens a blank page. Such potential.

  4. Megan Zander

    July 8, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Haha! I planned ahead and when to the store this morning to get things for enchiladas tonight! #winning

    • Theresa Edwards

      July 8, 2014 at 3:12 pm

      taco tuesday is best day

    • Valerie

      July 8, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      Such excite. Invite me.

    • Megan Zander

      July 8, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      Open invitation. Tell Claire to apply to Yale 😉

  5. Rachel Sea

    July 8, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    Trader Joe’s sells little baby tacos and they are adorable and delicious. Tacos can be as quiverfull as they like, I won’t judge, I will just buy more hot sauce.

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

      July 8, 2014 at 6:05 pm

      “quiverfull” — *giggles*

    • Snarktopus

      July 8, 2014 at 6:58 pm

      Those tiny tacos are AMAZING. I would buy all of them if I had more freezer space.

    • Rachel Sea

      July 8, 2014 at 7:12 pm

      My wife and I eat them with Tapatio adulterated guacamole for lazy dinner when we are binge-watching tv.

  6. JenH1986

    July 8, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    #6 you misspelled delicious. 😉

  7. JulesInNC

    July 8, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    Can we talk for a minute about fish tacos? And that’s not an euphemism. Fish tacos and summertime are made for each other. Why am I not eating fish tacos RIGHT NOW?

    • Snarktopus

      July 8, 2014 at 7:00 pm

      I’m sure fish tacos are very tasty, but I just can’t…All I can think of, the entire time I consider them, is that it’s a fish taco. Damn word association…

  8. WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

    July 8, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    I made taco pizza. Two of my absolute favorite things in a beautiful cheesy marriage.

  9. jennifertdahlen

    July 9, 2014 at 3:45 am

    my buddy’s sister makes $87 every hour on the internet
    . She has been unemployed for 6 months but last month her payment was $19402
    just working on the internet for a few hours. go right here C­a­s­h­f­i­g­.­C­O­M­

  10. Alexandra

    July 9, 2014 at 9:08 am

    CILANTRO for special taco time?! ummmm

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