This Girl’s Birthday Party Got Pooped On, And You’d Cry Too If It Happened To You

Think about the all the things that could possibly ruin a 16th birthday party. You’re probably imagining a party where no one shows up or you’re forced to watch your parents play grab-ass in front of your friends. Maybe you’re even imagining a huge zit or getting dumped via text message on the morning of your big day. Now, take whatever you’re imagining and replace it with a torrential downpour of liquid poop.

According to Fox 29, that’s exactly what happened to a Pennsylvania teen named Jacinda who was celebrating her 16th birthday with an outdoor party when it suddenly started raining poop. About 40 guests were partying outside at Jacinda’s house, swimming in the pool and playing horseshoes, when water began pouring from the sky. The water was smelly and brown, it drenched everything in the yard, and it contained none other than a big ‘ole helping of human feces.

The poop rain slammed into a newly purchased canopy Jacinda’s stepfather, Joe Cambray, had put up to protect guests from the elements. Luckily, a lot of people were underneath the canopy at the time of the shower, but many things weren’t so #blessed.

“It landed on the baby seat that was here,” he explained. “We just got done with cake. Thank God. We took the cake back in, because within two minutes, something fell from the sky. It was brown, it was everywhere, it got on everything,” said Joe. “I grabbed a hose from over here, immediately started lining things up to start washing it off.”

I think my favorite thing about Joe’s statement is how he sort of nonchalantly says the poop landed on everything, but thank God the cake was spared. In shitty times, it’s important to keep your perspective.

You might be wondering at this point where the poop water came from. One quick-thinking party guest was too, so they whipped out their phone and used an app to determine there were at least five airplanes flying over them at the time of the incident. I’m not sure that realization offered much comfort to anyone, but at least it provided a probable explanation outside of God just being a party pooper.

The family filed a complaint with the FAA who told Fox 29 all planes are required to dispose of waste at the airport instead of, you know, using it to fertilize the lawns in random residential areas. They plan to investigate the incident. In the meantime, consider it your personal dooty duty to be on the lookout for any and all planes that might want to rain on your parade.

(Photo: Shutterstock)