Susan Patton Falls For #EndFathersDay Prank + Bonus ‘Fox And Friends’ Bingo
Here’s something that’s good to know: Susan Patton is easily trolled. Proving once and for all that money can’t buy everything, and that even if you “marry smart” you can still be a gigantic moron, the “Princeton Mom” joined the Fox and Friends crew on Sunday to discuss how completely and utterly outraged she is by people who pretend to be feminists saying ridiculous shit on Twitter.
How she and the rest of the Fox and Friends crew can be so utterly blind to the way the internet works is beyond me, but perhaps all five of them can discuss it in length in their jalopy on the way to the malt shop, after which they can go for a brief promenade and all stare longingly into Tucker Carlson‘s eyes.
If you need a quick refresher, the #EndFathersDay hashtag was dreamed up by the equally moronic known trolls over at 4chan, and was pretty quickly dismissed by everyone who doesn’t think that Ivy League women should spend 75% of their time trying to land a man.
Over at Raw Story, you can watch the entire video of the segment yesterday, where Patton and the Fox and Friends band of idiots acknowledged that the hashtag “started out as a joke” but then added that it’s “picking up steam with feminists online” going on to quote a number of fake twitter accounts to back up their claim, having long given up on attempting to do any real fact checking.
Patton, for her part, bobbed her weird Sarah Palin/Curly Sue coif along in time to Tucker Carlson’s nasally complaining, saying that “For these ridiculous, antagonistic women to say it’s a celebration of male oppression, no, it’s a harmless creation of the greeting card industry, the aftershave industry, the tie manufacturers.”
Again, a simple Google search would have turned up the fact that a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd, who was raised by a single dad and Civil War veteran, started advocating for the inclusion of Father’s Day on the calendar in 1930. So, there’s that.
Facts didn’t keep Patton from talking out of her talkhole, perplexingly, and she gifted Tucker with an icky tie that a Princeton classmate designed or something, before going on to say stuff like,
“We’re talking about a group of antagonistic feminists, who, first, don’t even have men in their lives probably. I’st just one more thing, one more microaggression for them to latch onto and get crazy over. This is absolutely absurd. Nobody’s talking about Mother’s Day.”
Really, the entire thing is like a weird form of entertainment, which is why I made this bingo card for you guys to follow along with.
First of all, you antagonistic feminists don’t even have men in your lives probably maybe I’m not sure but who would want to date or marry someone who wants equal rights, amirite? SECOND OF ALL, no one ever talks about Mother’s Day like this, okay?
I am a proud antagonistic feminist, and I still try to make a nice Father’s Day for the guy I married, manufactured holiday or not because I have the mental capacity to hold both my high regard for him and my microagressive antagonistic feminazi agenda in my brain at the same time.
Listen, this is the internet. Hoaxes and pranks pop up and are pretty immediately exposed or shut down. If you’re dumb enough to believe all of it, than email me please, because apparently I’ve just inherited a whole lot of money from a Nigerian prince, and if you’ll just send me a small wire transfer and your bank account information, I’d be happy to share.