1. Sparkling Charleston Cosmopolitan
This drink is second in effectiveness only to sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting "NA NA NA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" when your toddler is having a life-changing tantrum!
2. Candy Cane Cocktail
This minty libation comes in handy when your toddler is freaking out over the broken candy cane your brother-in-law was dumb enough to give him.
3. Pumpkin Pie Martini
When you are ready to lose your shit on your own precious pumpkin, give this creation a try. You can be basic AND dull the pain of holidays with a toddler all at once!
4. Frosty The Caramel Apple Pie
When the third consecutive viewing of Frozen won't work in stopping your toddler on her reign of terror, forget fucking Olaf and down one of these life-savers.
Your little one might have tipped over their bowl of pears today but that doesn't mean you should skip out on this healthy serving of fruit. And alcohol!
6. Vanilla-Rosemary Lemonade
When your toddler hands you shitty, holiday-ruining lemons, take several gulps of this grown-up lemonade and forget your troubles!
7. Capital Eggnog
Just like toddler meltdowns, this drink is a holiday season classic! Don't be afraid to get generous with the bourbon- this is a time for giving, after all.
8. Pecan Pie Martini
Did your husband just refuse to help you get the kids in their pajamas so he could watch football? Well, fuck him and the horse he rode in on and kick back with this amazing concoction!
9. Pear And Cranberry Bellini
Oh, sweetie. Did your bitch-ass mother-in-law just criticize your parenting skills while you were trying to stop Junior from flinging apple pie at his cousin? DRINK!
10. Mulled White Wine Sangria
You made it through the day. You deserve a treat. Sit back, watch Christmas Vacation and try not to think about doing this all over again in less than a month.
(Image: Defy Media)