Quit Your Lies And Just Admit That Your Third Child Is An Oops Baby

Okay, here’s the dilly-yo. (Am I still allowed to say that? Sorry, Busta Rhymes.) I wrote a recent post about how I could never imagine having more than two kids, even though I once thought a three kid family was ideal.

My husband and I went the TMI route and jokingly posted on Facebook that we were done at two kids, and he was getting a vasectomy. I can’t even tell you how many friends lolled in our faces and said something along the lines of, “Just be careful. That’s what I said before I had my third! WINK!”

Um, no. We went the hopefully permanent route, and my husband laid down his life for me and got a vasectomy. That’s why I call him Vasectomy Jesus. Anyway, this little medical procedure should guarantee that we are completely done at two kids, unless we fall into the slim margin of the failure rate. (Please, Vasectomy Jesus, no!)

My circle of friends made it pretty clear that most of the third kids out there were unplanned. Sorry, but it’s true. I think the same could be said for my youngest brother, although we’ve learned to love him. (Kidding! Love you, bro!)

I know there are families that dream of having three kids, or even more. I don’t understand this motivation myself, but some people have wanted a large family their entire lives. I also know that there are many, many families that had the perfect family of four picture in their minds, only to receive a surprise””and potentially unwelcome””visit from the stork just a year or two after popping out that last kid.

When it comes to the terror of having a surprise baby, I get it. Around the time of my husband’s vasectomy, we were extra careful, and I was extra scared until we got the all-clear from his doc. If we had an unplanned third kid, I would love it very much, although the idea would take a little getting used to. I’m just happy our reproductive technology hasn’t failed us yet because I’m set on two.

Based on hearsay from many friends, now I have a suspicion toward families of five. I would never be so crass as to call a kid an “oops baby” to their face, but I’m definitely giving the third child the side-eye from now on.

(Image: Stephen Denness/Shutterstock)