Halloween is over and the first thing on my holiday to-do list is coming up with our family's yearly holiday photo card. I do this because we don't really send photos to friends and relatives at any other point in the year so it's a good way to give everyone a current picture of the kids. It sounds great in theory but every year, it turns into a total shit show for one reason or another. Holiday cards seem to be a big source of stress this time of year for many moms. Maybe some of you are better at life than we are and can tell us how you do it. In the meantime, see below for the many reasons to stress over your family's holiday card:
1. "I Need A Good Picture This Year"
Maybe last year, you waited too long to take a picture and had to settle for less than your best. This year will be different, you think to yourself.
2. "The Kids Are Sick This Week- Maybe Next Week"
Shit. The kids are snot fountains and just want to lay around and watch Nick Jr. It will have to wait.
3. "Shutterfly Has Free Shipping And 20% Off This Week- Just Wipe The Snot And Get It Done"
Saving $16? Give it a shot. Bribe with your leftover Halloween candy, if necessary.
4. "NONE OF THESE PICTURES ARE GOOD!"
Jesus CHRIST, how hard is it to get one picture of two kids both looking at the camera with their eyes open?! Apparently, very.
5. "I Don't Like Any Of These Designs"
You finally get a great picture but none of the designs on your favorite sites are jumping out at you. One bottle of wine later, you arrive on a winner but.....
6. "My Best Picture Is Landscape And My Favorite Design Only Works Vertically"
GAH! Why did you not take that shot as BOTH landscape and vertical?!
7. "My Free Ship Code Won't Work"
RetailMeNot says it worked for 91% of users. You must be that unlucky 9% who are up shit creek.
8. "Why Haven't My Cards Arrived Yet?!"
The order was placed 12 days ago and you were promised your cards within 10 days. Where dafuq are they?
9. "So-And-So's Card Looks Amazing And Mine Sucks"
By now, everyone's cards are starting to arrive in your mailbox and you are having major card regret over your selection. Too late to go back now.
10. "I Have No Stamps And It's Dec. 23rd"
You finally get your cards but you sit on them for a week because, busy. You get ambitious enough to send them a few days before Christmas only to discover you have no stamps. Up next, the 10 Stages Of Waiting In Line At The F*cking Post Office.