10 Stories From Chuck E. Cheese Employees That Will Make You Never Want To Go Back

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I will admit- I have not been to a Chuck E. Cheese since I was a kid. We have other options in our area for indoor children’s entertainment so I have thus far actively avoided The Rat, mostly due to the horror stories I hear from fellow parents about what a living nightmare it truly is. My kids see the commercials and beg to go- my son once said “Momma, can we go to Chuck E. Cheese? You know, where a kid can be a kid?” but even that adorable commercial brainwashing did not move me to action. I would rather pay for and install our very own skee ball set-up in our basement than sit through a few hours of Chuck E. Cheese shenanigans.

My feelings on this were confirmed by an amazing Reddit thread where current and former Chuck E. Cheese employees posted horror stories from their time working there. I hope you have a strong stomach because these stories from Chuck E. Cheese employees will make you never want to return.

1. All The Poop

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I guess it should come as no surprise that a place with a clientele primarily consisting of small children consuming soda, questionable pizza and tons of candy would involve a lot of poop. These employees should receive hazard pay.

2. Chuck E. Cheese’s Is A Den Of Iniquity

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The pizza thing is positively disgusting but thinking of a room full of rat-headed teens getting it on makes me laugh so hard.

3. The Rat Might Be Tripping Balls

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Ok, this is hilarious and might be a reason to go. Can you imagine a giant rat-man pelting little kids with candy? I can. And it’s amazing.

 4. The Giant Rat Is Nightmare Fuel

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My son would lose his mind if he saw a seven foot tall rat coming at him. He had nightmares for weeks after seeing a few ants in his room. I can’t even imagine the therapy he would require.

5. Violence At Every Turn

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Sure, bring your kid to Chuck E. Cheese. If you want him to be pushed down by a guy in a rat costume.

 

6. Filthier Than A Frat House

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From a filthy rat head that smells like the pits of hell to germs on everything you eat, this place sounds dirtier than the bottom of a flip flop after a trip to a gas station bathroom.

7. It Is Creepy As Hell

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Animatronic Chuck E. will probably stab you in your sleep. Don’t make eye contact.

8. It Bears Mentioning Again- Poop

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If the thought of your pre-schooler doing a luge through a huge shit streak doesn’t bother you, then go right ahead and bring them.

9. Dried Up Secret Puke 

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Not a Chuck E. Cheese story but I felt this warning could definitely apply here.

10. The Rat Might Not Be Who You Think He Is

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I need to go bleach my brain now.

 

(Post Images from Reddit)

(Feature Image from Chuck Pavone/Shutterstock)

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