Searching through stock photography for an image that fits a particular story is one of the things I love most about this job -- mainly because stock photography is ridiculous. I understand the concept of stock photography -- you are trying to get across broad themes with the use of props and such. But the images that pop up when you do certain searches are truly mind boggling.
Case in point: working mothers.
Searching for working mothers in a stock photography database will blow your mind. It's as if no stock photographer has any idea that a working mother can't actually bring her baby to the office with her. It's hilarious. I guess a plain old photo of a woman in an office would never suffice -- how ever would we realize that she has used her womb to make babies?
1. A working mom must have all of these things.
Coffee? Check. iPhone? Check. Pen? Check. Cappuccino? Check. Computer? Check. Nurturing smile? Check. Baby? Check.
2. Mom is so confused.
I care for this stack of reports the same way I care for a baby, right? Does my day planner need a bottle?
3. Mom brings kid to work.
Frank Gaertner/ Shutterstock
Here I am. At work. With my kid! Ready to work with my kid in my hands. Like all working mothers, I bring my child to work.
4. Hey, stop bringing your kid to work.
Just because you're in a suit and work in an office and have a uterus, doesn't mean you can bring your kid to work. I'm pointing at you sternly because I disapprove.
5. My kids are at work with me again.
vesna cvorovic/ Shutterstock
Who the fuck let these kids follow me to work?
6. I forgot a few things.
I forgot milk for this bottle, clothes for my baby, and to drop this thing off at daycare. Mommy brain strikes again!
7. I'll be right with you.
Yes, I'm listening. Can't you see I'm a working mom? I have to bring my baby to work and feed him during meetings.
8. Conference call, baby.
Diego Carvo/ Shutterstock
If we could get rid of this glass table that would be great. It's not ideal since I need to have my baby in my lap all day at work. Safety first!
9. Don't forget you have a baby at home.
I just bring all of this stuff to work with me so I don't forget I have a baby at home that I love.
10. I'm so focused on work I forgot to dress my baby.
I managed to get a suit, button-up shirt, tie, and various accessories on my body -- but forgot that my baby is totally underdressed for the business meeting I'm bringing him to. Silly me! You really can't have it all!