STFU Parents: The Future Of Baby Names

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Back in July, I wrote about the Crazy Baby Names people give their children. Today’s parents are all about naming their children “uniquely” so that their kids have a better chance of being ‘noticed’ as they go through life. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll be taken more seriously, but certainly they’ll be given more attention, if only because their classmates and teachers will be repeatedly mispronouncing and misspelling their names for years to come. It’s actually a bit ironic that so much of what’s reported about parenting right now revolves around children’s names as well as their digital identities, because while I think it makes sense to purchase eponymous domain names for babies, I often wonder who will be able to remember how to spell them.

To make matters even more complicated, many parents have reported feeling “name remorse,” leading them to legally change their children’s names. I can understand the remorse if parents want to change their child’s name from “Khenzie” to “Sarah,” but most of the time in the articles I’ve read the parents are quoted as saying, “She just wasn’t a Khenzie. She’s a Maddilhyn, and that’s that!” [Insert long sigh here.]

Now, with the end of 2011 approaching, everywhere I turn there’s a new baby name list. Most Popular Baby Names Of 2011. Least Popular Baby Names Of 2011. Top Baby Names You’ve Never Heard Of 2011. (OK, I made that last one up.) So in honor of our name-obsessed culture, and all the poor kids out there who will likely go through life asking, “Mommy, why does my name sound like the state capital of North Dakota but look completely different?” I wanted to build on the Crazy Baby Names column with some new submissions. I’ll not only offer up some wacky new names, but will highlight a couple of other trends in baby naming, as well. Let’s get started!

1. The All-In-One
STFU Parents

This baby is the epitome of everything one should expect from baby names today. That extra ‘y’ is just begging me to ask the question, “No really. Why?

2. Baby Name or Television Network?
STFU Parents

I actually understand why some people name their children names like “Eva” but prefer a pronunciation of “Ava” to “Eeeva.” To me, that makes sense. What doesn’t make sense, however, is taking a name/word/town like “Aspen,” substituting an “E” for an “A” and then cutting out the other vowel. This poor child is already carrying around the weight of a giant fake flower on her head, and now she’s got to go through life correcting every person who confusingly calls her ESPN? Parenting fail.

3. Name Drama

The stupid. It hurts. I’m not even sure where to begin with this cluster of idiocy, but suffice it to say, I’m fairly certain that Harpers and Rylees have been roaming the world for longer than Buffy and Ashley’s kids have been alive. Also, Mason was the #3 most common boys name on BabyCenter’s poll this year, so good luck with that, Jolene.

4. Crowdsourcing

I mentioned crowdsourcing in the first baby name column, but that involved a mom-to-be asking her friends their opinions on a hodgepodge of names. This time around, the parents have gotten more tech savvy, utilizing a survey-hosting website and using Facebook to promote it. They even made a video of their baby receiving his name! Aren’t you dying to know what they went with? No? Me neither. This isn’t the Never Ending Story; this is real life. Can’t people come up with their own baby names? And since the answer to that question is obviously “yes,” isn’t this just a display of attention-seeking narcissism?

I do love a name game, but something tells me these parents weren’t totally committed to choosing the name their friends choose for their baby anyway. Every set of parents has a “favorite,” and I’m guessing these two were no different.

5. My Child Is God

Parents naming their kids after the one and only (or so we thought) Messiah Himself. What will they think of next??

Side note: How this kid’s life is going to be made any richer or easier by having the name “Messiah,” I do not know. Maybe Misty just wanted to ensure that her eldest would be an overachiever? You tell me in the comments!


  1. Cee

    December 7, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    God..people need to quit it with “unique” spellings…they just sound so uneducated.

    • yooneek

      December 7, 2011 at 8:58 pm


    • Meredith

      December 11, 2011 at 11:17 am

      I agree! My son’s name is Aidan, because I wanted a very Irish first name to go with my very Irish surname. I’m somewhat bemused by the people who automatically go to the “yooneek” spellings, like Ayden. Even his father spelled his name “Adin” in a recent text. *facepalm*

    • Shannon

      December 15, 2011 at 11:42 pm

      Meredith, I feel you! My oldest is Aidan (I liked the ‘a’ version better because of our last name, and it’s a real spelling) and we get a lot of people confused about how to spell it. And we’ve gotten Adin as well.

      In fact, my family is: Bryan, Shannon, Aidan, Katherine, and Lucas. Not terribly unique or unusual. Yet every year I get a Christmas card from one of my aunts with EVERY SINGLE ONE misspelled — Brian, Ayden (or Adin or Adian), Kathryn, and Lukas, and mine she uses my husband’s last name for. (We’ve been married for 8 years, and I kept my maiden name)

      I just giggle and never tell her — I don’t want to upset her, and none of us care that much.

  2. NotThumper

    December 7, 2011 at 6:09 pm

    I admit, I somewhat fall into the category of #2 (not too far though!). My daughter is Emelia (we call her Emmy). I can’t tell you how much that “E” messes with people, lol. It’s “Amelia” with an “E”, not that hard right? We chose the version with the E since it is not as common as the A plus we liked the nickname of Emmy. Truthfully our thought process was that she could have a cute nickname while she’s young but also have a name to grow into. I just hope she doesn’t wind up hating her name along with my husband and I for giving it to her like so many of these other kids are bound to!

    • Steph

      December 7, 2011 at 6:22 pm

      Well in all fairness if the kids nickname is Emmy, it’s logical to assume her full name will be more ‘Em’ than ‘Am’.

    • Tobi

      December 7, 2011 at 6:26 pm

      It’s very similar to Emilia. Beautiful name with a strong meaning…

    • AYFR

      December 7, 2011 at 6:34 pm

      Emelia is going to spend her entire adult life correcting people.

      I agree with the comment that all of these “unique” spellings make the parents look like uneducated fools.

    • RCIAG

      December 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm

      AYFR is right, she’ll spend her entire life going “**sigh** No, it’s EM-elia, not AH-melia. With an E not an A.”

      I feel her future pain. I have an uncommon name. It’s not spelled “yooneekly,” it’s not some weird variant spelling of a “normal” name, it’s just not a popular name these days & yet at least once a day I have to repeat my name to someone more than once or spell it out.

    • Robin

      December 7, 2011 at 7:35 pm

      You think it’s funny how much the e messes with people, but you aren’t the one who gets to correct people for the next 90 years. You fail to grasp the fact that while it may be easy for you to see that it’s like amelia with an e, that there is no conceivable way for strangers to know that you are supposed to pronounce it in a way that is not reflected by the actual letter used.

    • NotThumper

      December 7, 2011 at 9:38 pm

      @Robin, I have a VERY common name but since there are several ways of spelling it (mine is the original) you’d be amazed how often it is messed up.
      Her name is not “yooneek” either, it is spelled with an E in lots of baby books/websites/etc…
      I have to correct people on my Scottish last name constantly, for some reason people think it is Hispanic (soooo not even close btw).

      @ Steph, when someone asks her name I say Emelia, not Emmy, so they don’t always know it’s an E. Eventually I say Emmy, or Em and they get it.

      I guess the takeaway here is ya can’t win either way.

    • Steph

      December 11, 2011 at 1:35 am

      Sorry NotThumper, I think I’ve read your comment wrong. So her name is pronounced EM-elia? I thought you were saying it was pronounced AM-elia.

  3. D

    December 7, 2011 at 6:23 pm

    Letters are not squiggly things bereft of meaning. If you want a name that uses an A sound, USE THE LETTER A.

    • SMiaVS

      December 23, 2011 at 4:01 pm


    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 7:26 pm

      An A sound like the one at the beginning of Olivia, Elizabeth, and Eric, or the ones at the end of Skylar, Jordan, and Liam?

      I realized one day (after seeing the name Jordon) that you could spell Jordan with any vowel and it wouldn’t affect the pronunciation at all. Jordan, Jorden, Jordin, Jordon, Jordun, and Jordyn would all arguably be pronounced the same way (Jordon looks sort of different, but Gordon rhymes with Jordan, so why not?).

      The fact is, vowels in English have multiple different pronunciations. As long as changing the spelling doesn’t actually change the pronunciation, according to the incredibly loose rules of the English language, there’s not really anything tremendously wrong with changing the spelling. It’s not like Catherine and Katharine are so obnoxiously different that no one would ever be able to know they’re the same name. (There are OTHER reasons not to use certain spellings, but spelling changes that don’t affect the pronunciation aren’t necessarily a big deal.)

  4. Avodah

    December 7, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    I agree,Cee. It is not a mark of sophistication. It is a mark of stupidity. Anyone with any reasonable command of the English language would pronounce “Emilia” “Eh-mee-lee-ugh” not “Ahh-mee-lee-ugh”. Christ, people.

    • CW

      December 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm

      Isn’t it normally pronounced ay-MEEL-yah? All the little girls I know with that name have that pronunciation. 3 syllables, not 4.

    • Avodah

      December 7, 2011 at 11:21 pm

      You can pronounce it either way. I don’t want a pissing contest about pronunciation. It was the beyond dumb spelling…

    • Steph

      December 11, 2011 at 1:39 am

      Maybe it’s a regional thing, I know two Amelia’s and they’re both A-mee-lee-a.

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 7:27 pm

      With my accent, Amelia and Emilia sound pretty much exactly the same.

  5. Anna

    December 7, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    My name is Anna Marie. My husband is Eric Alan, and our kids are named Jeremy James and Cora Jane.

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH CLASSIC, EASY TO SPELL NAMES? Seriously . . . your kid can be unique without a bunch of unnecessary BS in their name.

    • How Ironic

      December 7, 2011 at 6:32 pm

      Cora is classic??

      Where I’m from it’s in the same category as JerMagesty and Neveah.

    • Lynette

      December 7, 2011 at 6:52 pm

      Well, there were girls named Cora in the 1700’s, if you use the book Last of the Mohicans as a reference.

    • DD

      December 7, 2011 at 7:05 pm

      @How Ironic, yes, Cora is classic. It has been in the top 1000 most popular names for at least 100 years ( It’s not made up or stupid, like JerMaj or RoGyna.

      Real name. Solid name. Good work, Anna.

    • How Ironic

      December 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm

      LOTS of criticized names have been around for years though.

      That poor girl on Teen Mom is constantly put down for naming her son Bentley when anybody with half an education would know that it’s an honorable old British name. Yet somehow, it’s now associated with lower class.

      With Cora, it’s the same. I’ve never been anywhere that the name Cora isn’t assumed the name-bearer is from a trailer park. Pure white trash connotation, just as Shaniqua is but with another race association.

      Maybe that’s offensive to you, but that’s the truth.

      So now how do you think other mothers feel for being criticized for their child’s name?

    • How Ironic

      December 7, 2011 at 7:14 pm

      @ DD____Every name in existence is a made-up name.

    • khan

      December 8, 2011 at 12:53 pm

      My aunt by marriage was Cora (born in 1920s).

  6. Leigh

    December 7, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    I read a baby naming website when I was pregnant.

    Worst names eva… (see what i did there?)

    • Victoria

      December 7, 2011 at 10:39 pm

      I love that site! I was just there not long ago and I laughed til I cried.

    • fakeprofile21

      December 8, 2011 at 3:59 am

      hey leigh, i followed that link and had a good laugh. i also had a blast from the past…the cassie/casey post was made by my very first college roommate! The college sent a letter with my soon-to-be roommate’s name and phone number. over 12 years ago, i called her house to figure out who was bringing what for the dorm room; that’s when her dad had to correct my pronunciation. small world. 🙂

  7. ALR

    December 7, 2011 at 6:32 pm

    I was born in 1980. First my mother wanted to name me Lisa Maria (not so crazy, except that yes she wanted to name me after Elvis’ daughter), then my mother wanted to name me Rainbow… she didn’t even choose the (pretty normal – traditional spelling – in the top 20 girl names of 1980) first name I was eventually given; my Grandma chose it out of a baby name book!

    My theory is crazy baby names have been going on for forever, it’s just because of the internet we can now see and comment on all the crazy in one place.

    • ALR

      December 7, 2011 at 6:32 pm


      although huh I kind like Lisa Maria, haha.

    • Lisa Marie

      December 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm

      My name actually is Lisa Marie, but contrary to what many people believe, I’m not named after Elvis’ daughter. Both of my grandmothers are named Marie, and my Mum loved the name Lisa.
      Also, in the country I’m from, Lisa Maria is a valid name. :p I prefer Lisa Marie, though, but I might be sliiiiightly biased. 😉

  8. Sally

    December 7, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    I was a high school teacher for 7 years. My department chair had a student in her class named Your Majesty. I had a student named Noah Skuse (pronounced sk-yoose) No joke (the kids would giggle during roll call when poor Noah’s name was called). The Puritan baby names weren’t top notch (Dorca? Eartha? Keturah?), so we can perhaps safely surmise that this has been going on for hundreds of years–which means we can’t blame this generation solely. But seriously. Someone make it stop. Where have the Williams, Elizabeths, and Marks gone…?

    • RCIAG

      December 7, 2011 at 7:14 pm

      They will be the children of Noah Skuse & Jermajesty. Because those kids will grow up hating their weird names & name their kids William, James or Mary.

      If you will notice, that the majority of the people that give their kids weird or “yooneek” names have names like Sara, Audrey, Lisa, etc. Buffy would the the craziest name up there for the comments but for the most part they’re not really odd names.

    • Leeandra

      December 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm

      I’m pretty sure Dorcas and Keturah are Biblical names.

    • Jos

      December 7, 2011 at 9:18 pm

      This article frightens the hell out of me. I have two children, Patrick and Elizabeth, and get weird looks when people realize that we didn’t go with ‘unique’ names. We thought it might be better for them to able to function in society when they become adults without having to explain why their parents chose some ridiculous, made up name.

    • gosh

      December 7, 2011 at 9:36 pm

      Uh, Patrick & Elizabeth are made-up names like all others.

    • khan

      December 8, 2011 at 12:56 pm

      I recall a historical marker in Castine ME where one of the (first) names was “Hate evil”…from the Great Awakening.

    • allison

      December 9, 2011 at 11:58 am

      @Leeandra, totally. You could get the best names out of the Bible; I’m honestly not sure why it’s only (as far as I’ve seen) extremely religious people who go there. I mean, Tabitha is a biblical name (actually the same person as Dorcas). I honestly find that one tempting. “No, we’re not into witches, it’s in the Bible!” And she’d probably be the only one in her class so you wouldn’t even need to spell it Tabbythah.

    • mcakez

      December 10, 2011 at 9:40 pm

      Ooh. Fellow teacher here and I already mentioned Prince’Charles up above, but you reminded me of another one: MissTiara. Apparently built in titles are a ‘thing.’ For the record, she insisted on being called MissT (like Misty), but her mother always insisted on referring to her by her full name.

    • Laura

      December 22, 2011 at 11:25 am

      Keturah was one of Abraham’s wives, so it’s got a pretty good history.

  9. missminute

    December 7, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    My theory about this has always been thus: people who give their children insane names, with much fanfare, are the same people who go mental over weddings for one reason alone: they lead boring lives, and their one big moment of excitement is their wedding, and their one claim to uniquness is naming their child something stupid.

  10. Knee

    December 7, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    My son’s name is unique but the spelling is correct. Although there were already 5 million different correct ways to spell it, says wikipedia.
    But we crafted it to have several nickname optionsand if he really dislikes his first name that much, he has two middle names he can chose from, as well!

  11. Chul

    December 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    I recently unearthed some of the little stories that I wrote when I was in elementary school – Zamyyah Avaly reminds me SO much of some of the names I came up with for characters. So Sara and I are on the same page (or at least we were when I was 8).

  12. What the what?

    December 7, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    What? Emilia is just Emily with an ‘a’ as far as I’m concerned. You’re not being unique by changing the spelling, it’s just annoying. There’s only so many ways you can spell a name on the top name’s list and think you’re the smart ones. Were you that Erica in high school handing in assignments as “Erykah” and thinking god I’m special! It’s you isn’t it! Having the Rhys’ and Aydahn’s etc. poor kid.

    • except

      December 7, 2011 at 7:24 pm

      Emilia is a very old Latin name..

    • Asher

      December 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm

      Rhys is an actual name that’s been around for a long, long time. Since the eleventh century, at least.
      Aydahn, however, is just an abomination.

    • Tobi

      December 7, 2011 at 7:31 pm

      Yeah, Rhys is an old Welsh name.

    • CW

      December 8, 2011 at 8:55 am

      “Emilia” is just the feminine version of the name “Emil”. It’s an old Roman name that originally was spelled Aemilia but along the way it lost its first “a”.

    • NotThumper

      December 8, 2011 at 8:57 am

      Just Emily with an “A” as far as you are concerned? Well then you would be incorrect. Yes, the name is derived from Emily but it is pronounced differently.

  13. Tobi

    December 7, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    Honestly, I just straight-up hate this kind of name snobbery that goes on.

    • Anna

      March 14, 2012 at 11:59 am

      Ha, I guess you would, if your handle is your actual name.

    • Tobi

      March 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm

      It’s not FYI, but I’m not sure if you have room talk.

      Where I’m from, Anna is associated with trailer-trash. Do I think it’s right? Not at all, it’s name snobbery, yet that’s what people think anyway.

      I just disagree in general.

  14. Kelly

    December 7, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    this is an awesome source for baby name lists that include spelling variations:

    I am constantly flabbergasted by people’s name choices. Example: a friend is a high school teacher and has a student named Finest Johnson.

    • Asher

      December 7, 2011 at 8:37 pm

      Perhaps Finest Johnson is a relative of the president of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan. 🙂

    • Fluffy

      December 9, 2011 at 1:18 pm

      A girl I used to know at school had a brother called Richard Head. You know, Dick is short for Richard? Everyone wondered what her parents were thinking when they named him.

  15. K

    December 7, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    Ok, a friend of a friend just had a baby – she never announced what the kid’s name was going to be. Now I know why: His name? CORMAC. WTF?! Mind you, she’s VERY irish, kept her very irish maiden name, etc. However, her husband? NOT IRISH. His full name is ridiculous. Poor kid. I feel for him in about 5-10 years.

    • Tobi

      December 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm

      Maybe she’s a fan of Cormac McCarthey’s literary work..?

    • except

      December 7, 2011 at 7:38 pm

      I think Cormac is a nice Irish name.

    • K

      December 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm

      Cormac is a nice name, but its very old school and not very common. It’s like naming a kid nowadays “Clark” or “Walter”. Nice names, but not for a current generation. What would his nickname be? Cory? Mac?

    • TheSquirrel

      December 7, 2011 at 8:41 pm

      Cory and Mac sound like pretty good names to me.

    • Aleksia

      December 7, 2011 at 11:02 pm

      I have friends who went the Irish route with their latest kid’s name too. Declan. How is that even pronounced (google says Deck-lin…)? Oh, and of course, they aren’t even Irish. Either of them.

    • Pffft

      February 5, 2013 at 4:00 pm

      deck lan, I’m born and bred Irish and have to say don’t name your kid names unless people around you can pronounce it- My friend was called Faolinn N’Halnihin [Fa wail an, Na Hall na hin]

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 7:33 pm

      It’s pronounced exactly like it it looks. That’s not even an uncommon or obnoxiously Irish name. I mean, seriously, Sean’s Irish, but you don’t hear people going, “But you’re not Irish! Why would you name your kid something ridiculous like Sean?” And Sean, unlike Declan, is NOT pronounced the way it looks.

    • how Ironic

      December 7, 2011 at 11:10 pm

      But does YOUR name reflect your nationality? What about everyone else in your family, Aleksia?

    • CW

      December 8, 2011 at 8:53 am

      Did you ever stop to consider that perhaps your acquaintance specifically chose an Irish name because she wanted her heritage reflected given that the baby would have the father’s last name? Our kids have German first names to honor MIL’s heritage and an Irish last name.

      I wouldn’t think twice about meeting a Cormac these days with a non-Irish last name, especially if the mother was of Irish heritage.

    • KB

      December 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm

      Why does the kid have to have a nickname? What’s wrong with just calling someone by their full name? My name is only 4 letters, do I need a nickname?

      Also, Declan is a pretty popular Irish name & one of my favorites. In my extended family there were also a Cornelius & a Desmond (this is going back a long time, although I know 3 Corneilus’ now).

    • Sharky

      December 9, 2011 at 1:30 pm

      Declan was #275 in 2010 — I predict at least a 100 pt. jump when the 2011 list comes out. At least it’s pronounced phonetically and spelled correctly. I don’t think that’s a bad name at all. Nor is Cormac. Very few Americans are named things that come from their own ethnic heritage. Jennifer is a Welsh name — how many Jennifers do you know?

      I am horrified by names like Nevaeh and Ma’Kayla, though. And everything B. posted above.

    • Steph

      December 11, 2011 at 1:44 am

      Wow, way to be unnecessarily judgemental. How dare your friend do something that reflects her heritage when her husband doesn’t share that heritage!

    • hrm

      December 13, 2011 at 4:23 am

      could be worse. At least it’s not KoreMackenzie

    • Emily

      December 22, 2011 at 2:04 am

      There is a character in Harry Potter named Cormac, so that should help 🙂

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 7:47 pm

      My name is Latin, but my last name is German. My childhood best friend has a Greek first name and a Welsh last name (though she’s since married into a German surname). My cousin has a Welsh first name and the same German last name as me. Another relative has a French first name and an English occupational surname.

      Since when has it ever been a problem to give your kid a first name that isn’t from the same ethnic origin as their last name? Last time I checked, names like Danielle (French), Sean (Irish), Jacob (Hebrew), Cassandra (Greek), and Allison (German) were all pretty common and no one cared one tiny bit what ethnicity the person with the name was.

  16. smish smash

    December 7, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    I don’t quite get the criticism of unique names based on the idea that the kid will have to tell people how to spell it and apparently, that this is tedious. My name is EXTREMELY common. It was one of the top ten baby girl names in the year of my birth and my last name is one of these super, extra English names that one could easily imagine on a tin of shortbread cookies; it’s also only two syllables long, contains only has 4 letters and sounds exactly like it’s spelled in it’s extra Englishy way. I can’t even imagine an easier name to pronounce or spell than my very, very non-unique name and yet, my entire life, people have been misspelling my name. And you know, it really hasn’t been a problem for me. Spelling one’s name has likewise never seemed particularly difficult or annoying for any of my friends and co-workers who come from other countries and cultures. You just spell your name and move on with your life. What’s the problem?

    • Jen

      December 8, 2011 at 7:19 am

      I just want to speak up for the “problems with differently spelled names” thing. I have a REALLY common first name, but my maiden name is a pain in the ass. I literally can not tell you how many different spellings and prononciations I’ve heard over the years. However, the incredible difficulty people had with our name became a running joke in our family and it never really bothered us. UNTIL I almost lost student housing my Sophomore year of college because Res Life put my name into the system incorrectly and I wasn’t coming up as a listed student. Luckily everything worked out, but it took several days and hours on the phone to sort out the problem. It also became a problem when my daughter was born. It took me THREE tries to get a birth certificate for her that had my maiden name spelled correctly. It’s frustrating and can be time consuming to have an odd name. And while you can’t help your last name, I imagine it must be even worse for kids who have parents who willingly provide them with difficult names. I know it would have me feeling resentful by middle school.

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 7:49 pm

      Exactly. My name (which isn’t Leigha, by the way, Leigh is middle name) has exactly ONE correct spelling and has existed for thousands of years, and still no one can ever spell it right on the first try. Giving your kid a normal name will in no way exempt them from having to spell it.

  17. Rachael

    December 7, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    Aw, man, Peyton’s going to feel like such an afterthought.

  18. Rachel

    December 7, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    That last one reminded me of a woman I once met who had four sons all presumably named after Jesus – Prince, Lord, Saviour and Jehova. Awfully high expectations to be putting on kids, or setting them up for a superiority complex.

    • mcakez

      December 10, 2011 at 9:25 pm

      Real talk: I once knew a kid named Prince’Charles. He hated the name, and only wanted to be called Charles.

  19. Bronwyn

    December 7, 2011 at 8:24 pm

    I hate it when people imply that common names are the best because sometimes life is hard when you’ve got a unique name. I’m not saying the article is doing that but it happens all the time. I love my uncommon name (which is actually an ancient Welsh name that is not at all uncommon in the UK). I’ve been called all kinds of weird things by people who can’t pronounce it but I’m glad I haven’t got the same name as everyone else! I love old fashioned names 🙂

  20. Brooke

    December 7, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    Can we please..just for a about the kids who have androgynous names and the headache that ensues? For example my first name is COREY. I am female yet I bet most of you would assume I was male just based on the spelling. Brooke is my middle name and due to years and years and years of annoyance correcting people to my correct gender, I now go by Brooke. Please do not get me wrong, I love my first name and the context behind why my parents named me Corey with -that- spelling but it’s annoying to get scowls or questioned or accused of lying about what my name is. I have had several people inform me I was indeed NOT Corey because Corey is a boy name and I am clearly not a boy… Its annoying…. I would much rather name my kids something unique (To them) yet clearly one specific gender!! That being said I do feel there is a “line” that people cross and it’s naming their children names that are so outta this world its redic! Example) Le-ah (nope not leah… its LeDASHah) yup real person I happen to know…. My friend is a teacher in a very affluent upper class suburb of Chicago and she once had a pretty little WHITE girl named Placenta… her mom thought that was a “very pretty name” (GAG!!) and what about the boys and girls named after cars and alcohol?

    • aliceblue

      December 7, 2011 at 10:35 pm

      Placenta? Poor child is lucky that mommy didn’t eat her.

    • Nichole

      December 8, 2011 at 1:28 am

      I actually know one guy named Brooke (can’t remember if he has the E on the end or not though) Brooke McCarter (one of the Lost Boys from the original movie)
      I actually kinda dig androgynous names though, especially for boys: Leslie….oh god, I’m so tired I can only think of that one right now….but I know there are several more I like. Leslie just happens to be my favorite. Perhaps because I’m such a big fan of Leslie Neilson 🙂

    • Echt?!

      December 8, 2011 at 5:26 am

      I usually don’t post a comment when I see something that bothers me, but this has been bugging me, even after giving myself some time to think and calm down. Do you have any idea how offensive that bit about a “pretty little WHITE girl” is? What? Because only black people name their kids stupid names? That’s how it reads. And while the story may be true, too often these kinds of stories are purely made up and just continue as ways to try to put other races and ethnicities down.

    • Stephen Hawking's Football Boots

      December 8, 2011 at 11:24 pm

      Yeah, the androgyny thing seems to be more of a modern thing (of course my elderly father knew men named Gale, Carol, and even Shirley). It seems more tilted on the side of girls co-opting boys names — Aubrey, Cooper, etc.

      We know a woman who has a strapping son in the military. His name? Taylor Swift.

    • Jamie

      December 12, 2011 at 3:43 pm

      I know how you feel. Growing up I got alot of mail addressed to “Mr. Jamie”. Spam emails about male enhancement products because people assume that anyone named Jamie is male. When I was admitted to the hospital once, I was delayed getting into a room because the person who assigned me the room, thought “Jamie” was a male and gave me a male roommate.

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 8:07 pm

      Strange, I would assume most Jamies are female.

  21. DMH

    December 7, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    My name is Deanna… If you thought of the woman from Star-Trek, you are (unfortunately) correct. Mom thought she was pretty, so…. *eye roll* I’m just happy it sounds nice with my middle name Marie. Though I see a son of Deanna’s on Facebook, I’ve only met 2 or 3. And DEAR GOD THE PRONUNCIATION!! I get everything from Deena to Dana to Diana, half the time people can’t even spell it– my kindergarten teacher kept writing DeAnna on my report cards (wtf with the capital letter?). My aunt still writes Dianna on holiday cards. I literally need to tell people it’s Dee-Anna, spelled with one E, two N’s, no capital letters other than the D. Fortunately, my last name wasn’t difficult at all— Until I got married. Now I spell that one out, too.

    Our future daughter? Lauren. No weird letters, none of that prounounce-the-A-like-an-i bull. Just Lauren. Middle name undetermined. Son will be Nicholas. Middle name also undetermined.

    • DMH

      December 7, 2011 at 9:04 pm

      Sorry, that’s supposed to be *a TON of Deanna’s on Facebook. Not *son.

    • DofD

      December 9, 2011 at 7:12 am

      My mom’s name is Deanna, and our family also shares the same last name as the captain of the Enterprise. My mom really liked it when ST:TNG came out because the telemarketers could finally pronounce both first and last name and stopped asking for “DEENA PIKERD?”

      /cool story

  22. Marisa

    December 7, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    I think different names are fine within reason. My name, Marisa, is a bit different but I like it because it’s the good kind of different. Okay, maybe I’m a little bias. But I clearly remember when I first started hearing names like Ava come back into vogue, I thought it was quite lovely. Now it’s very common, which is fine, but people make up for it by spelling it all sorts of different ways.

    The point is some parent’s just don’t think. Remember, you’re not the one who will have to go through life with that name. Your child will.

  23. michelle

    December 7, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    how about cassiopia wiebenga .beautiful is’nt it ? lol

    • Debbie

      December 11, 2011 at 9:26 pm

      ha ha, I went to school with a Cassiopia Astrid. She went by the name Cassi.

  24. Your Mom

    December 8, 2011 at 12:56 am

    I work with kids and have heard some amazing names. I only get mad when: 1. You’ve set your child up for a career as a hooker/stripper/porn star (Passion, Tequila, Princess Hawaii, Sun’Ryze – double act with her sister Sun’Zet) 2. It looks like you named your child by slamming your hand a keyboard (Qdhyghia, A’mareeonte) or 3. You are obnoxious and think you are picking something unique that has been a top 10 name for years (We wanted something different, so we named her Annabelle *headsmack*).

    • Emma

      December 11, 2011 at 7:40 am

      You have precisely said it there. The snark is on the complaining parents because they wanted to be unique and there are 7 other children with the same name,or someone has misspelled or mispronounced their child’s name, or “stolen” their name. Manifested in actually making up names, creatively spelling names, or suddenly developing an affinity with another culture and taking names from there.

      Noone is snarking on the use of old family names, or culturally common names regrdless of the culture they generated within.

      I know two Madisons aged 4. One male, one female. Spelled the same.One’s mother is 40, black (a minority in this area) and middleclass. The other’s mother is white, 19 and comparably undereducated/poor. So, well.

      STFU doesn’t strike me as racist or culturally superior but several commenters on here DO come over as very uptight, and offended on behalf of others (who actually aren’t offended themselves)

    • Shadynasty

      April 21, 2014 at 12:57 am

      Thanks for bashing my kids’ names, Your Mom. My oldest is A’mareeonte (pronounced “uh-MAHR-ee-on-tay”) and my youngest is Qdhyghia (pronounced “kuh-DEE-zhee-uh”)

  25. Caryn

    December 8, 2011 at 1:34 am

    Well the silliest one I have seen lately is a birth notice announcing the arrival of their little girl, La-a. Oh and the pronunciation of this gem? It is “Ladasha” … of course it is! We all knew the hyphen between the “La” and the “a” was supposed to be pronounced “dash”. **smacks head**

    • KMilt

      December 8, 2011 at 6:24 pm

      Oh my god. Don’t trot out this old chestnut and pretend you just invented it.

    • Canaduck

      December 11, 2011 at 9:47 pm

      Jesus you’re the second moron on the thread to mention the oooold La-a myth as being something they saw personally. It’s old, it never happened, and we’re all sick of hearing about it.

    • Mia

      December 11, 2011 at 11:20 pm

      @Canaduck Actually, it isn’t a myth. I work in the ER. You encounter many strange things there, names included. And you don’t have to call me a moron.. just Doctor.

    • Caryn

      December 16, 2011 at 1:09 am

      Excuse me Canada Duck you are a rude piece of work!!!!! It DID happen … the birth notice was in Melbourne Herald-Sun (Australian paper) a number of months ago. So stop calling me a liar … just because YOU didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. The whole world and the veracity of what happens in it does not revolve around you. I live in Melbourne and I did see it … are you even in Australiia? With a nick like yours I doubt it!

    • Caryn

      December 16, 2011 at 1:13 am

      @ Canaduck … yes I know I got your name wrong. Was so pi$$ed at your typical Gen Y superior attitude that I mistyped it.

    • well

      December 16, 2011 at 1:21 am

      uh, this is why no one believes you.

      EVERYBODY has heard this story

    • Caryn

      December 16, 2011 at 1:42 am

      I truly couldn’t give a flying you-know-what if you believe it or not. The girl exists, the birth notice exists and it made for some interesting talk-back radio the morning it was in the paper.

      Are you really stupid enough to believe that some person may not have read the “urban myth” and decided to call her child that because she thought she was being “clever”? You need to get out a bit more and stop being so judgmental! Sheesh you lot take the cake!

    • well

      December 16, 2011 at 1:48 am


      whatever you say.

  26. Alyssa

    December 8, 2011 at 9:38 am

    I hate the name Neveah…it just drives my batty for some reason. I am going to name my daughter Caroline and my son Jonathan. Nice, normal, traditional names.

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 8:10 pm

      Expect Caroline to get Carolyn a lot, and if you call Jonathan “Jon,” expect to see “John” all the time. No name is safe.

  27. smish smash

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Here’s the problem I have with most of these types of discussions. Every time “unique names” get discussed, there seems to be a flood of comments from people about how people who don’t use “Nice, normal, traditional names” like Elizabeth and William are silly. But these names are only “Nice, normal, traditional names” if you happen to be of white anglo-saxon descent, aren’t they? I live in NYC and I’ve met a ton more Anant’s, Yulia’s and Ichiro’s (All names that are extremely common in their respective cultures) than I know Patrick’s or Emma’s and all of these people seem to be able to get through their daily lives without being overly burdened by the fact that the anglo-saxons among us need to be told how to spell and pronounce something like “Yuan-Yuan.” There’s just something I find really insular about stating that only the names from a fairly narrow breadth of human culture are normal enough to not be ridiculous (Right below in an earlier comment someone is implying that a traditional Irish name for someone of Irish heritage is totally ludicrous; makes me wonder what they’d say about an Indian name). Globalization is already here, unique names are going to be pretty par for the course very, very soon and I think anyone, child or adult, who is unable to deal with meeting someone with a different name politely and respectfully is going to be a lot more hampered in their life than the person with the funny name.

    • CW

      December 8, 2011 at 4:11 pm

      There’s a BIG difference between using an ethnic name like Anant, Yulia, or Ichiro and a totally made-up name that is a “kre8tiv” spelling of a regular name like Maddyssynn.

      My youngest daughter has a name that is not in the Social Security list of the top 1000 girls’ names. But it’s a name that everyone has heard of and is spelled the normal way, it just has fallen out of fashion in recent years. The priest who baptized youngest DD commented that he hadn’t baptized anyone with that name in a number of years but he really liked it because it was a good saint’s name. I think it’ll come back into fashion eventually when people get sick of Emma/Isabella/Sophia/etc.

    • smish smash

      December 9, 2011 at 12:47 am

      @ CW: Are you SURE there’s a big difference? Are you sure you could even tell which ones are “made up” and which ones come from a meaningful heritage? After all, in this very comment section below there’s a person who going on about the silly alternative spelling of centuries old welsh name “Rhys.” Let’s play a game I call “Gaelic Name or Stupid misspelled name I just pulled out of my ass.” See if you can spot the “made up” names below:

      Maille (pronounced Molly)
      Shaunna (pronounced Shawna)
      Crwys (Pronounced Cross)
      Dafydd (pronounced David)

      Ha! Trick question! They are ALL actual centuries old historical names! Isn’t it better to just err on the side of being respectful of peoples names and embrace the fact that we all have our differences rather than gleefully sneer down our noses at people who “stupidly” decided not to call their kid William?

  28. Annie

    December 8, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Totally over all this baby name snobbery. “O! woe, how the poor children shall suffer! Their parents have FORCED me to judge them forever!” It also frequently smacks of racism and classism which really makes me uncomfortable. Not to mention the utter ignorance displayed by people saying “why can’t you use a nice easy classic name” when the name IS a “classic” name that was once very common. I guess if YOU haven’t heard of it then it must be some made up drivel.

    My FULL name is so common it’s in the top 30. I always wanted a “unique” name growing up. The grass is always greener. Frankly it’s nobody’s business but the parents’.

    Honestly, it was fun at first. Now it’s just really stale. Give it up.

    • STFU Parents

      December 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm

      Classism and racism? Those are incredibly rude things to say, and frankly you don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve always maintained that my blog is an “equal opportunity” blog, meaning anyone can wind up on it, and that has been true for nearly 3 years. Maybe you’re just jealous and wish your name was Messiah.

    • STFU Parents

      December 8, 2011 at 5:00 pm

      PS: I’m not sure if you were hurling those thoughts at me or the commenters, but I assumed me because of the last two lines of your comment.

    • Dina

      December 9, 2011 at 6:31 am

      To be fair, I often hear the “omg crazy names” thing leveled against names that are popular amongst Black and/or lower class communities.

    • Steff

      December 9, 2011 at 8:05 am

      If you’re so over it, why are you here?

    • Jen

      December 9, 2011 at 10:27 am

      STFUParents: Please don’t tell me that you’ve never at least considered the fact that those names we think of as “classic” and “normal” also tend to be overwhelmingly white European. And the fact that in the US at least (can’t speak for other nations) we have a long history of using non-white sounding names as a means of discrimination; including using stories–both true and not–about minorities giving their kids silly, misspelled or lewd names to illustrate how “dumb” those non-whites are AND discriminating against people who have non-traditional names when it comes to choosing job candidates (something which has been proven to happen to this day).

      The fact is, overwhelmingly those who follow these sort of silly “unique” naming trends–especially where the child’s name is oddly spelled, they are named after a body part, etc–are also less educated and generally poorer and/or a racial minority.

      All that being said, I don’t think you are attempting to be classist or racist; I just don’t think you’ve actually spent any time thinking about the issue from that perspective. And your knee jerk reaction to someone who tried to point out the issue with this sort of mockery leads me to believe that you don’t actually care to examine the problematic nature of this issue further, since it might interfere with your fun. I used to love reading your blog–as a parent I found it hilarious. I stopped because it started feeling more and more in bad taste and bad spirit and every time I took issue to something you had posted I got piled on by you and others on your site. You can keep up doing what you are doing–it makes you happy and you find it funny; but do realize that you are neither infallible nor do you lack privilege and it would serve you well to examine how that privilege can sometimes blind you (it blinds us all) to the racist/classist undertones of some of your posts.

    • Jane

      December 9, 2011 at 10:50 am

      Yikes! If a name is stupid, it’s stupid. Jeeze… If you can’t even guess how to spell a name when you hear it, or guess how to pronounce a name when you read it, it’s useless. It’s not racist or classist to harbor that opinion, its just an opinion about the name! When I hear/read a horribly spelled, unique name, I don’t judge the parents on ANYTHING but their terrible taste in names and lack of forethought for their child. ; P

    • Jen

      December 9, 2011 at 11:17 am

      Jane: Check your privilege and try and realize that there is a reason you can guess how to spell or say the names that YOU can guess how to spell or say.

    • Cee

      December 9, 2011 at 11:51 am

      Uh oh..someone has taken a sociology class at the community college..

    • How Ironic

      December 9, 2011 at 1:07 pm

      So Jane just admitted that ethnic names and names of other cultures are stupid.
      Wow. Ethnocentricity at its finest.

    • TMac

      December 9, 2011 at 1:13 pm

      I agree that people that get upset about names they’ve never heard before (and therefore might incorrectly call a foreign name a “unique” one) might want to make sure they’re actually eye-rolling at something that really is what they think it is.

      However, the screams and yells of privilege and condemning for being racist and classist? Oh man. Okay, sure, it’s something that needs to be known, but really? Why have I never come across someone with this statement that DIDN’T come across as a snotty, arrogant jerk with a weed up their rectum? You sure you’re actually championing these causes because you believe in them, or because you WANT to find something to be mad and cuss about?

      Anyway…all that to say, when you can tell me that “Princess Hawaii” or “Sailor Moon” (my personal facepalm) is a name steeped in racial and cultural significance, I will happily admit that I’m wrong for rolling my eyes when I see that.

      Two more thoughts, before I go:

      1) Aside from two posts here, skin tone is shown, and they don’t -appear- to be minorities. Just people trying to be speshul.

      2) “The fact is, overwhelmingly those who follow these sort of silly “unique” naming trends–especially where the child’s name is oddly spelled, they are named after a body part, etc–are also less educated and generally poorer and/or a racial minority.” <— check yoself, that's a pretty racist and classist comment right there, Armchair Sociologist. By saying that, you're implying that "overwhelmingly", someone who would name their child "unique" HAS to be poor, "less educated", a minority, or a grab bag of all three. I would think it would be less offensive to go "wow, that child has a strange name, the parents must be trying too hard" instead of "wow, that child has a strange name, the parents must be poor, stupid, and a minority".

    • Jen

      December 9, 2011 at 1:46 pm

      TMac: You might want to actually try comprehending my entire comment before you jump down my throat. My point was to the author of STFUParents who tends to have a knee jerk reaction of attacking EVERYONE who points out that she may not be totally in the right with *some* of her posts (and also her many followers who do the same) without actually considering whether or not other peoples’ points are valid.

      The initial comment was from Annie, who rightly pointed out that making fun of names like this tends to have racist/classist vibe considering 1) the fact that most names we consider “normal” come from white sources and 2) historically and currently the names that tend to be mocked are usually provided by poor, undereducated and/or minorities. It’s the reason Snopes has an entry on the topic.

      And you can try and judge me for pointing out the very true fact that white privilege exists and needs to be considered when making fun of something as personal as the name a parent chooses for their child, but I’m not the one who sounds like the snotty jerk when you do that. I care because I think it’s important to attempt to understand the world we live in and how where we come from effects our view of it. It’s something I try and teach my four year old, it’s something the author of STFUParents has yet to learn.

      Finally I actually DIDN’T initially post to this, because while I disagreed with the article for the reasons I already mentioned I didn’t want feel it was necessary to bring this up since in the past STFUParents has been completely uninterested in hearing anyone who disagrees. I only spoke up because of her ridiculous response to Annie. The fact that she thinks it’s “rude” to bring up that something she just posted might be construed as racist or classist (which is really all Annie said), but that she doesn’t think it’s rude to A) insult Annie B) insult parents who name their kid anything aside from what she judges to be “normal” and C) not even attempt to see Annie’s point before jumping down her throat is pretty much the EXACT reason this conversation is necessary. I honestly don’t think she even understands what “privilege” means or had any clue of what Annie was trying to say (thus the knee jerk “how dare you call me a racist, I make fun of white people too” response) and I was trying to more fully explain the point.

    • HollyBean

      December 9, 2011 at 7:43 pm

      Valid point. I have noticed this lately as well. It seems that STFU Parents is being more aggressive towards anyone who disagrees with her.

    • Gracie287

      December 9, 2011 at 10:46 pm

      While I see your point, and it’s a point well made, I’m not sure it’s directed at the right person (like B., I’m assuming it’s directed at her based on the last paragraph). I don’t see anywhere in the original post bemoaning the lack of “classic” names, although yes it has been said is in the comments section, by other commenters. In fact, 2 out of the 5 examples B. gives are making fun of parental behavior related to names (whining that they’re child’s name isn’t unique enough, creating a survey to name their child), not making fun of the childrens’ names.

      And since apparently I can’t reply to Jen, I would like to state my disagreement with her statement that “overwhelmingly” people who choose unique names and spellings are “less educated and generally poorer and/or a racial minority”. Check your privilege! I know a lot of upper-middle class well-educated white parents who have given their children “unique” or “uniquely-spelled” names in recent years. It’s more than a little ignorant to assume that this trend is isolated to racial minorities and people in lower SES.

    • Steph

      December 11, 2011 at 1:56 am

      Wow. First of all, calling the author racist and classist for snarking on stupid names because ‘poor, black people give their children stupid names’ is racist and classist.

      Second, all the children in this post are white.

      Third, the author has never said that people should only name their children Elizabeth and William. She’s saying that it’s stupid to add unnecessary Y’s and change S’s to Z’s.

    • STFU Parents

      December 11, 2011 at 1:40 pm

      @Jen – This post, and the subject of the post, has absolutely NOTHING to do with race and class. At all. And I don’t think that defending myself is an “attack.” It’s just that people tend to believe that bloggers shouldn’t be able to defend themselves, and I happen to disagree. If someone calls me racist or classist, you better believe I’m going to defend myself.

      A while back on the blog, someone jumped down my throat for making fun of “black people’s names” in a post. Because I always edit out the profile picture, I had to come into the comments to explain that the person in the submission was white. I have never, ever made fun of a name because of its ethnic origin, nor would I, and I believe that everyone, regardless of how much money they make or what color they are, has the ability to give their kids stupid names. Actually, I know that’s true for a fact. I’m the one who gets all the submissions.

      By saying that you think I haven’t given this any thought, you’re making an incorrect assumption. You’re basically calling me racist. And you know what they say about assumptions…

    • Jen

      December 11, 2011 at 2:04 pm

      STFU: As I said, I DON’T think you are actually racist or classist. I DO think you are incredibly defensive and I think that you are not always a very nice person, either in the things you find funny or in the way that you respond to criticism. I used to love your blog, I can’t stand to read it anymore because of the bad taste several of your posts/responses left in my mouth. The only reason I responded to this post at all is because your response to Annie was ridiculous and showed a complete lack of a) reading comprehension and b) ability for self reflection. Annie didn’t call YOU racist or classist, which you might have noticed if you weren’t so ready to jump down the throat of anyone ready to disagree with the “great and powerful B”. She made a valid point about why she found posts like this one problematic and instead of perhaps taking any time to reflect you jumped the gun and attacked her, like the immature and petty person you so often prove to be. So defend yourself ALL you want, but you are NOT always right and you can be incredibly offensive and the fact that you are so willing to attack those who criticize you is maybe a good reason you shouldn’t be running a blog bent on making fun of others. In short and as my mother always liked to say, “if you can’t take it, don’t dish it out” or in other words, STFUThinskinnedblogger.

    • Cookie

      December 13, 2011 at 2:22 am

      Jen- I’m curious to know which specific blog from STFU parents was the last one that you found funny and the first that you found offensive. Then, I would like to know the specific part of that post that you first found offensive and why. I’m inclined to want to learn from your thoughts here, but I fear that when we do some digging we find that STFU’s jokes were funny to you when they were about other people that you could laugh at, but at some point, they hit a little too close to home for you and now the poster is ignorant/racist/classist because they’ve offended you or specifically made fun of you and your own. And the only reasonable explanation is that they must be prejudice in some way!
      Also, I don’t think anyone is laughing at names from other cultures/places/eras. The whole point is acknowledging those people who search far and wide through their family tree and familly trees that aren’t even theirs to try and find something “special” because otherwise their kid wouldn’t be special in light of the unending Celebrity Culture infused need to have ever aspect of your kids existence be special.

    • Jen

      December 13, 2011 at 9:23 am

      @Cookie: I know that there were several (including ones that were significantly MORE classist than this post), but the one that was the final straw was a series of emails between B and a woman who had become angry for being posted on the website when her child was seriously ill. Thankfully it DIDN’T hit close to home, I just don’t find that sort of thing hilarious. I also took issue with the way B handled any and all criticism on the site, she was defensive and petty towards ANYONE who complained whether they were valid or not. And many of her regular followers seemed to enjoy piling on and being incredibly insulting, prompting her on several occasions to take down posts because people had actually started harassing the women and men featured in them and I’ve seen plenty of comments on her site wishing death on parents AND kids that passed without comment only to see B attacking someone later on for pointing out how maybe she was being a little unfair.

      It just went from being a site that mostly featured funny jabs at the insanity of parents to a site that featured posts that (to me at least) seemed mostly mean spirited. I took action and stopped reading the site, but when something is posted here I do read it and I only commented on this because B attacked someone without seeming to either read or comprehend the meaning of her post.

    • SMiaVS

      December 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm

      In cases like Madison or Aidan, or really, most of the names the article refers to, it’s the “unique” spellings and/or pronunciations that are being criticized. No one is saying there’s a problem with Madison or Mackenzie or Aidan. The issue is with names like Maddesynn, McKynnzeigh, and Ayydn, which are, in fact, “made up drivel.”


    December 8, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Laird, secret, twinkle, steffe,
    Chance, hummis (yes crazy)
    Zoey, tyler, feelia, all retarded names…
    These are some stupid baby names I have heard of recently. Everyone thinks there soo original, but these kids are going to sound like the power rangers when there in grade school, Kamora please stop hitting Sumpra, and Rhett please be seated next to Jagoria.

    • James

      December 9, 2011 at 12:44 pm

      Laird is an old Scottish name, so I don’t think it fits in with the rest.

      But Chance and Hummis sound like good names for pets.

    • Carrie T.

      December 9, 2011 at 3:18 pm

      Laird and Hummis?
      Lard and Hummus!

    • Janie4

      December 13, 2011 at 12:26 pm

      Laird is a Scottish word for Lord – as in Lord Hamilton, the heriditary title. It’s not common as a first name.

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 8:19 pm

      Tyler? You’re complaining about TYLER? That’s been one of the 100 most popular boy’s names for over 30 years.

  30. xobolaji

    December 8, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    in my next life i suppose i *might* find it funny when ppl with “normal” names make fun of ppl with “weird” “exotic” names. until then, please consider me supremely bored with this discussion.

    oh look! i have a “weird” unpronounceable name. damn i’m unique. and wouldn’t you like to know if the “xo” is actually a part of my name, or if i just added it to piss you off! god that not only makes me insufferable, but my parents too for having the audacity to not call me jane or karen or billy or bob.

    • mcakez

      December 10, 2011 at 9:06 pm

      I think the author is sympathizing with people with strange names, not mocking them. It isn’t like it is the child’s choice.

      As a teacher, I’ve had many students with ‘creative’ names who chose to shorten it, go by a middle name, request to be called something else, and struggle with embarrassment and frustration because they hate the ‘creative’ spelling/made up string of syllables they were assigned.

      Key point here, really, is that it isn’t particularly original and might be doing a disservice to the child.

    • except

      December 11, 2011 at 11:41 pm

      @Give me a fucking break

      Except Bolaji is a name with african roots, not a “cre8ive” name.
      Way to be a jackass.

    • DMH

      December 12, 2011 at 11:55 am

      Did I say it was a “cre8ive” name? No I did not. I said she is one for the “cre8ive” defense. Learn to fucking read, you imbecile.

    • except

      December 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      Pot calling the kettle black, I see.


  31. Jamie

    December 8, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    I try not to judge. I try to be nice. But I HATE the misspelled on purpose names.
    I named my son Vern (old family name) so I can’t really judge anyone else though.

    • STFU Parents

      December 9, 2011 at 12:15 am

      I like Vern! Also a character from Stand By Me. 🙂

    • STFU Parents

      December 9, 2011 at 12:16 am

      I like Vern! Also a character in Stand By Me. 🙂

  32. Meghan

    December 9, 2011 at 5:01 am

    My parents named me Meghan in the 1979’s, before it was a hit! I struggled with the constant misspellings (heck, even today, it is misspelled on my bank card b/c I didn’t want to wait 3 days for them to fix it).
    I hated having a yoonique name back then but have grown to like it (and single and married I have always had to spell my last name since there are several versions). Having said that, I did bestow unique names to my girls, Brynne (a welsh name… Pronounced brin. It is also androgynous.) And I did this before Bethenny Frankel gave it to her daughter. My other daughter is Catrina. My husband is of Scottish descent and I am of Irish descent so keeping the names Celtic was key. With catrina, we opted to NOT do the traditional Scottish spelling of Catriona, because we didn’t want people calling her cat-ri-ona. She was born 4 months before hurricane Katrina so the name is not very popular with her generation. If we had a son, he would have been Braeden (Celtic spelling) which I’m glad we didn’t because that name is way too trendy.

    • Lila

      December 9, 2011 at 5:38 am

      God, shut up. No one gives a shit.

    • Rebecca

      December 9, 2011 at 10:40 am

      LILA, FTW! HAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAA. Yeah, MeGHAN, cut it out with the blah blah blah… you seem to be one of those moms who thinks everyone cares.

    • Cee

      December 9, 2011 at 11:54 am

      Watch out, we got a hipster here now…if a tree falls and nobody hears it, are you gonna buy the album so youd be the first one to hear it? hah

    • except

      December 9, 2011 at 1:11 pm

      Be careful though. Braeden would make people roll their eyes and accuse you of “making up another -ayden name” because I’ve found most of these people don’t realize that Aidan is an old Irish name.

    • Pretty Welsh

      December 9, 2011 at 5:44 pm

      Um, just FYI, Bryn is actually a boy’s name, and it’s spelled, well, Bryn.

    • xan

      December 9, 2011 at 5:50 pm

      Bryn has been used for females as well for at least 160 years now.

    • SpookyTuesday

      February 23, 2012 at 4:13 am

      My favourite thing is “MY child is named ******, but I named him/her that before (marginal to actual celebrity) named their child the same.” It’s not a contest, you’re giving a name to a person, and if it is a contest, what’s the prize?

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 8:22 pm

      I’m pretty sure the point is that a lot of people will think you named your kid AFTER the celebrity, and you want to be clear that that wasn’t the case. I know people who are adamant about making sure they didn’t name their daughter Bella because of Twilight, because they hate Twilight and are horrified at the thought that their daughter has to be associated with it.

  33. Jane

    December 9, 2011 at 7:33 am

    I’m a teacher, and unique spellings don’t make the kid unique at all.

    I had a class with two Madisons. One was spelled with a y, but as far as I was concerned, she was still ‘one of the Madisons’. The one with the y didn’t stand out any more to me.

    Also, if you want to talk ‘snobbery’, it seems snobbish that YOUR child must have a name no one else has, as if he/she lays golden eggs compared to the rest of the world’s mortal children. I know all parents think their child is the best, but struggling for the ultimate name reeks of ‘my child must stand out above all of yours.’

    If your kid is going to be unique, let it be through his/her personality and ambitions, not because he/she has a name that sounds like you picked syllables and vowels from a hat.

    • chinookeroo

      December 9, 2011 at 12:41 pm

      I completely agree!!!!

      My parents gave me a unique name because they wanted me to stand out.

      Guess what? Since grade 2 or so, I’ve wanted to stand out on merit, something I can earn and improve, instead of by name. As an adult in the workforce, I like to go by a common nickname because I want to be recognized as a person who stands out because I am kick-ass at what I do, not because my parents thought I needed an original name.

    • Fluffy

      December 9, 2011 at 1:10 pm

      My name is an old fashioned name, so without even trying, my parents got me a unique name. XD It’s ironic in a way, cuz I was the only child with that name at school; the other girls were all Saras, Lauras, Emmas, Louises and Katies.

      I’d say that if a parent really wants her kid to stand out, to pick a nice old fashioned name cuz that way he or she will be prominant within all the Madisons, Rileys and McKennas. XD

    • how Ironic

      December 9, 2011 at 1:18 pm

      Fluffy, Madison IS an old-fashioned (British) name.

      Riley is an old-fashioned Irish name.

      I doubt your name is sooooo much older than those.

    • Amy

      February 1, 2013 at 8:25 pm

      Unless we’re talking centuries old, Madison is NOT a British name. If I met someone over 10, maybe 15 who was British and called Madison, I’d be very surprised. Most names can be placed in a certain generation (with odd exceptions obviously), but I cannot even hazard a guess at what generation a British Madison would be aside from a child.

      To a British ear, it’s an incredibly American name.

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 8:36 pm

      From my understanding, Madison was rarely used as a first name before the 1980s. It’s an old surname, but actually naming your child Madison was basically unheard of.

    • Fluffy

      December 9, 2011 at 6:28 pm

      So Ironic, do try and take a chill pill before you post on here in future. It might stop you posting such a stupid post like the one you just posted.

      I wasn’t referring to my name standing out among Madison etc, fyi, but to standing out among the names I listed as my school mates.

      Please get off your high horse and learn to read in future.

    • How Ironic

      December 9, 2011 at 6:38 pm

      Even more ironic is that you seem to not understand the mere three lines in my reply. Try again.

    • Lou

      December 9, 2011 at 6:43 pm

      Fluffy’s not going to get it.

  34. Alicia

    December 9, 2011 at 8:13 am

    You guys are taking this post way too seriously. She’s poking fun at the parents who are obsessing over picking the most unique name, one that “no one else has!”

    It’s not about the names being ethnic or old Gaelic or anything like that if people realize that when they pick the name. These people are purposefully taking legit names and altering the spelling specifically so their kid will be “different” (Karly vs Karli vs Kaarleigh, etc). Or naming them after something ridiculous (Tequila?). Or asking people to vote on their kids name. Sometimes the kid grows to love the name, sometimes they hate it, but I can assure you we have every reason to be sad for little baby Espn. Seriously.

  35. Paul

    December 9, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Trying to be unique is just soooooo common.

    I used to think official lists of names legislated for in countries like Portugal were a terrible idea.

    Now, I’m not so sure…

    • Stephanie

      December 9, 2011 at 10:07 am

      This cracked me up because I was one of the kids affected by those name lists. My parents are citizens therefore I’m a citizen and when they got around to registering me (I was 8) we had to jump through serious hoops becuase they only wanted me registered as “Estefania”. There were talks and calls from the US Embassy in Portugal to the Portuguese Embassy in the US to discuss whether to allow my parents to register me as “Stephanie” and grant an exception!!

    • Stephanie

      December 9, 2011 at 10:10 am

      …That was an 8, not a smiley face.

  36. Kate

    December 9, 2011 at 8:24 am

    My daughter has a friend named Jhezzikah. Thats Jessica, for the record.

    I dont get it. I never will get it. Jhezzikah is a lovely girl and her parents are lovely people, but there are ramifications when you just go silly with yooonique spelling. In this instance, Jhezzikah is 8 years old and cannot spell her full name, she just goes by Jezz, because no one else can figure out how to spell it. Even her parents spell it two different ways sometimes, they have told me that themselves.

    I got the spelling off the school class photo, which I assume is correct, but I could be mistaken.

    • Kate

      January 17, 2012 at 4:06 pm

      By high school, they will be calling her “jizz”. I sincerely don’t mean to insult this girl, but as a parent, you need to take in certain ramifications like horrible nicknames, or bad connotations.

      Also, nice name YOUR parents decided to give you! 😀

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 8:40 pm

      I don’t think Jhezzikah has trouble spelling her name just because it’s spelled uniquely. The reason adults have trouble remembering how to spell it is because they’re used to seeing Jessica, and they’re familiar with the rules of English (such as, “jh” is not a typical letter combination). Children are not. When she was 3 or 4 years old, Jhezzikah was probably the only spelling of it she had ever seen, and she had no reason to think there was anything strange about it.

      The fact that her parents can’t always remember how to spell it is probably the real problem. It’d be pretty hard to learn how to spell your name when even your parents can’t get it right.

  37. Genevieve

    December 9, 2011 at 11:44 am

    I’ve got a relatively uncommon first name, and I have both hated, and loved it. In grade school, I was CONSTANTLY battling people who wanted to call me either “Jennifer”, or “Geneva”. In high school, there were 3 of us in a 375 student school. Now, it’s nice to have a more formal sounding name to use at work. However, I *just* took a call during which I clearly enunciated my name, and the caller ended the conversation with “thank you so much, Jennifer” – so, it never really ends.

    That’s why my daughter got named Victoria. Plenty of good nicknames, pretty, pronounceable, and a name she can age gracefully into.

    • I love your name!

      December 9, 2011 at 4:34 pm

      Just wanted to let you know that I love your name…it’s pronounced like ZHON-vee-ev, right? BEAUTIFUL name. I knew a girl with that name in elementary school but back then I thought it was supposed to be pronounced “jen-e-VEEV”.

    • Je préfère JEN-e-veev

      December 11, 2011 at 11:47 am

      JEN-e-veev is the English pronunciation of Genevieve. ZHON-vee-ev is the french way, which I would find pretentious unless someone is actually French-speaking.

    • Tikimuppet

      February 5, 2013 at 11:13 pm

      My name’s Victoria And I’m very glad of it. It’s a lovely normal name, but I can still be hipster by calling myself Viki 😛

      On a seperate note, I always felt sorry for my brother’s teachers at primary school. In his class of twenty five there were four Joshes, three Toms, and two Bens. And a Shay, Cheylee, Sheryl, and Cheryl. 1992 must have been have been a slow year for baby names…

  38. LKinney

    December 9, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Good lord, how do people always turn these fun posts into Sociological views on race, gender, feminism, blah blah blah? I’m pretty sure these posts are meant to be a fun break for your day, not a need to explode with “LOOKHOWSMARTIAM! EVERYTHINGOFFENDSME!”. Of course everyone can have their own opinion, I’m not denying that but geez, chill the fuck out and stop attacking people.

    • except

      December 9, 2011 at 1:15 pm

      Do you not feel that parents are tired of being attacked for giving their kids a “made up kre8ive name” when they’re TRULY giving their child an old family name or cultural?

      I mean you’ve got people criticizing even Irish and Welsh names because they’ve never heard them before and assume they were made up in the last 10 years.

    • LKinney

      December 9, 2011 at 3:26 pm

      The thing is though, is that I don’t see these parents on this post trying to TRULY give their child an old family name or something based on their cultural. To me, it feels like they are trying so hard to be different and unique and not really caring if it’s a name their child will struggle with. I could definitely be wrong on that point but that’s how I see it. Besides, my whole point of my first post was for people to stop attacking other people, it’s just not worth it and makes you (not YOU, just people in general) look bitchy.

    • carrie

      December 9, 2011 at 3:38 pm

      Yeah…nothing sounds cultural like Espn and Karlei.

    • except

      December 9, 2011 at 5:04 pm

      No, but names like

      Ceilidh (pronounced Kayley)

      are some I’ve seen criticized IRL for either being a “kre8tive & yooniq” name when they’re all family names that go back centuries (family names in the individual situations I’m referencing).

      The fact is that all names are made up. The difference is just when.

    • Tobi

      December 9, 2011 at 5:28 pm

      My cousin’s son is named Zephyr, Zeph for short. People have given her HELL about it.

      The thing is that it’s an old family name, Greek, and it’s specifically to honor her husband’s grandfather.

      People wouldn’t be throwing this fit if she named him James in honor of her grandmother, now would they?

    • Tobi

      December 9, 2011 at 5:30 pm


      not grandmother

  39. Libbie

    December 9, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    Parents who give their kids truly awful names really need to have a reality check. As an adult I legally changed my name (to my original middle name) because I hated the first name my parents gave me.

    I am not opposed to “different” names for kids, but what parents need to consider is a) that this is a PERSON they’re naming, not an accessory or a toy, and b) this PERSON will one day be an ADULT who may want to be taken seriously some day. I can’t stand all the “tryndee” baby names with cutesy-cute spellings and stupid little-girl lilts (even for boys.) Consider what these kids will go through when they grow up. Can you see an adult woman named Khynzie becoming a powerful CEO? Would you let a surgeon named Braedynne operate on you? Would you trust such a person to be intelligent and capable? Would you take an adult man named Ryliee seriously? Can you see a guy with a name like Jaydenn having an easy time fitting into the world of adult men? Hey, kids! Get in the car! It’s time to go see Great-Grandma Brynnlee in the nursing home! Hey, I’ve got to get going…I have an appointment with my OB/GYN Brooklynne Smith. I’m sure she’ll take great care of me.

    Please! Parents think it’s so cute to name a BABY these cutesy-fart names, but they’re only babies for a few years, and then the world needs to start actually taking them seriously. Just stop it, parents! Cut it out!

    • Alina

      December 11, 2011 at 10:00 am

      @Libbie – funny, I’m a medical student and most of my peers (as well as the doctors in our hospital) certainly aren’t named John and Mary. Interesting how you seem to think the quality of a surgeon is linked to the Biblical his/her name sounds. Your comment is even funnier considering your name is Libbie (cute spelling) which in all honesty sounds like another “cutesy-fart” name you can’t stand 😉

    • Lee Faye

      December 27, 2011 at 3:26 pm

      I would let a surgeon names Braedynne operate on me, because I’m not so petty to think that someone with an odd name lacks the skills to perform in there career.
      I agree with your main point, but once you started with the implications that the children who have odd names are, in fact, incompetent, you lost me.

  40. ilg

    December 9, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    I’m a big STFU, Parents fan (read the blog everyday & only read Mommyish columns that B posts because they’re f’in funny–like the blog)…and I’m reminded every day of how thankful I am that my husband and I have decided not to have children.
    All that being said, I have a traditional Scandinavian name (Inger); my parents shortened my paternal grandmother’s name, which was Ingaborg (thanks, mom & dad!) to pay homage to her. Over the years, I have struggled w/ misspellings, mispronunciations (Inga, Anga, Anger, Bertha, Gretchen, Ingrid…the list goes on) and as an adult, I have to pronounce my name 2-3 times when I meet people for the 1st time. When they ask what my name is for the 3rd, 4th time, I’ve started saying, “My name is Inger; its like “finger” without the “f”.” Hell, I’ll answer to “Finger” sometimes, just to keep the conversation moving.

    • Karena

      December 9, 2011 at 6:11 pm

      You just had me cracking up! Thanks for the laugh about answering to “finger”. In your case, a “different” name is ok when it has a meaning or comes from your ancestry. I mean, at least it’s not totally made up!

    • Maren

      December 30, 2011 at 6:51 pm

      My name is also a nod to Scandinavian heritage – Maren, pronounced AND spelled exactly like “Karen with an ‘M'”. Since I was a kid, I’ve had my name pronounced Maureen, Marn, Mary, and my favorite, Moron (a substitute teacher in 7th grade, cementing my adolescent nickname).

      I used to hate my name, but I’m fine with it now. It doesn’t even seem that “weird”, compared to the names and spellings people give their kids now. But people need to realize that the names they give their kids will be mispronounced, made fun of, or turned into a mean nickname.

  41. Pingback: Raising A Unique Child Will Take More Than A Name

  42. Cory

    December 9, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    This why I’m going to name my children the traditional Hispanic names of my grandmothers and ancestors: Braulio and Elsa del Rosario.

  43. Poppy

    December 9, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    Arabic words often have a double y in them – like Umayyid, Wahabiyyah – so maybe that’s what’s up with Zamyyah up there. Sara can also be Arabic.

    Or maybe mom’s a dumbass. I dunno.

    • ellequoi

      January 25, 2012 at 12:31 am

      That’s what it looks like to me. Makes me think of the character Hadiyyah in Elizabeth George’s books – always liked that name. Maybe next time the names should be Googled before the mocking commences?

  44. Sara

    December 9, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    So are Harper, Kaylei, and Mason just growing up in a town with a population of 10? Rylee I think was mentioned, too. Really? They can tell eachother all day that these “were” unique but um they aren’t. Especially when you spell them right.

    • Nocturnesthesia

      December 15, 2011 at 7:08 pm

      Karlei looks like it could be Hawaiian or something (it’s not, obviously, but it sounds more ethnic than ghetto.) Also I can’t f*cking believe Espn is real, I thought it was an urban legend. Holy sh*t, does this dumbass even realize she named her baby after the sports network?

  45. Jack of All Trades

    December 9, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    If you want to name something stupid and weird, get a DS and some Nintendogs.
    Not shit a baby.

    • alexis

      January 26, 2012 at 1:32 am

      😀 LMAO @DS & NintenDogs!!

  46. Rachel

    December 10, 2011 at 3:16 am

    My kids names are

    are they too ‘yoonique’ for u

    • Andy

      December 11, 2011 at 1:21 pm


    • SMiaVS

      December 23, 2011 at 3:11 pm


      My kids’ are:

      Cher’s ex
      and I wanted to name my child after a car, so I had to “feminize” it by misspelling a perfectly lovely, old-fashioned name like Portia.

      Are they too “yoonique” for you?



  47. Angela S

    December 10, 2011 at 9:13 am

    I linked this article to my Facebook page and I am nervous and a bit excited about how folks will respond. I am a huge fan of STFU Parents and have come to realize that if I were to, Lord willing, have children I am a prime candidate for being a mombie. Thank you for the wake-up call and preventing me from naming my child something horrific. Please keep these articles coming.

    • STFU Parents

      December 11, 2011 at 1:42 pm

      Thanks Angela! 🙂

  48. Sweetpea

    December 10, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    I personally know twin boys and their older brother named Concrete, Asphalt, and Bricks. Father’s a construction worker. Named all three. The mom said she wanted Mark, Matthew and David.

    And when I was having my second child, the girl in the room next to me gave birth to twin girls who were named, no joke, Palin and Faylin. And she LAUGHED when I told her my baby’s name was Eddie. And she named one of her kids “Faylin” like “Failin’ outa high school. “

  49. Molly

    December 11, 2011 at 2:04 am

    It’s not the names so much as it is the parents’ reasoning and attitude. If a parent names a child Brooklynne because Grandpa was Brook and Grandma was Lynne, then IMO it’s a fine name. If you chose that spelling because you found out another mom in the tri-state area just had a Brooklyn, but dammit you picked that name out years ago, before it was popular (hell… you INVENTED it!) and your baby needs those extra letters tacked on or risk being unspeshul, you’re a nut.

    These parents arguing about who had what name first sound deluded. Oh but their convos make for great reads!

    • Shannon

      December 15, 2011 at 11:38 pm

      There have been names that I or close friends have discounted because of someone else — for instance, my daughter’s name is Katherine, so my best friend has left that off her list. But that’s because we see each other and our kids see each other so often that calling it into the yard when we want them would be confusing! I also requested she not name a child after me, because Shannon is a crappy middle name and it can’t be shortened easily to avoid confusion with me.

      That, to me, is a perfectly good reason to skip using a name. Someone else somewhere used it is mind-boggling.

      Though it does remind me of my husband’s aunt, who was telling me about her kids’ names and implying that they were better than those I used for mine because they’re UNIQUE. The names? Brennan and Erinn… she’s from Chinatown, so in her experience, they were unique. I went school with 4 (at least) out of 300 kids. It’s all a matter of perspective.

  50. Debbie

    December 11, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    You know what, it doesn’t matter if the name comes from the bible, or ancient Greece, or Arabic, Swahili or Mongolian heritage. If you are selecting it for your child because you want them to have a name that NO ONE in the entire world, for at least the past 650 years and the next 430 years, has then that makes you an attention-seeking mombie who may need to find a hobby.

    If you pick it because you like the name, or it has personal meaning, then great, that’s awesome. But bitching about another child sharing your child’s (or your own for that matter) name, someone mis-spelling it, mis-pronouncing it etc it’s really time to get some perspective on the important things in life.

    • DMH

      December 11, 2011 at 10:56 pm

      I bitch because I’m sick and tired of correcting people when they pronounce or spell my name every. single. day. Is it important? Not really. But it’s fucking annoying. Sorry, we don’t all have simple name like yours.

    • Bliss

      September 2, 2012 at 9:42 am

      Talk about a non-sequitur

  51. haha

    December 13, 2011 at 3:48 am

    just LOL @ My Child is God ! so hilarious…

  52. Paedyn

    December 18, 2011 at 3:05 am

    Alright, so first let me state my name is Paedyn (pronounced Peyton) and I cannot stand it. No one spells it right. No one pronounces it right. No one understands why the “d” makes a “t” noise. It is cruel to give your child this kind of name. People automatically think I’m pretentious or something because my name is spelled oddly and is an -ayden name.

    Can I also add, no one had related this at all the black names? I’m not trying to be racist but it’s literally only an issue among black people or so I am aware. I have heard so many strange and made-up names (Janeesia (Juh-nee-shuh), Alionda (Aahl-eeh-awn-duh), Leonaja (Leeh-oh-nay-shuh), Lascanda (Luh-sawn-duh), and JeDoanaya (Juh-doe-nay-uh) to name a few of my friends) and I don’t understand why parents do this. Don’t they understand people automatically judge people based on their names? Don’t they understand that these names makes these kids feel really “ghetto” and maybe that isn’t the image they permanently want just based on their name?

    Gosh, people really need to wise up. What is the world coming to? Anyway, trust me Paedyn is an awful name so never name your child it.

  53. Arlyne

    December 28, 2011 at 12:30 am

    I have a weirdly named kid. His name is pronounced Wraith, as in specter, ghoul, ghost, spook, vehicle in Halo, ICP album, etc, etc. Which was not what I wanted his instant ‘classification’ to be. There’s a good reason for his name. It was well thought out, and I made sure to give him a ‘normal’ middle name to use if he chose to. His name is NOT spelled Wraith, obviously, it is spelled ‘creatively’ but in a way that makes phonetic sense.

    So, I can forgive a lot of ‘weird’ names, so long as there is some logic to the spelling. (Espn as Aspen is a ‘Oh hell no’ though)

  54. Elan

    December 30, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    My name annoyed me as a child (in part because my little brother was named one of the most popular boys’ names – Jacob), but I’ve come to love it as an adult. I have met a small handful of boys with my name (the masculine version is Israeli- based, Elon), but only one other female with the same spelling and pronunciation.

    As much as I probably shouldn’t, I judge people a little on their ability to pronounce my name (aside from being the name of various ski, carpet, and jewelry companies, an Elon University, and the title of an album by the jam band Firefall, it is also a French word that has become part of the English language – elan vitale, anyone?).

    I like my name and enjoy the history of it, and am always a little pleasantly surprised when a stranger pronounces it correctly the first time. It could be worse. I went to high school with a girl name Chlamydia.

    • Steven

      July 17, 2012 at 8:20 pm

      I love your name! Probably just because I drove a Lotus Elan though. 🙂

  55. bobseverns

    January 10, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    I do not agree with #4 as necessarily a bad idea. Don’t dismiss the power in using social media to educate/expose unique names (a good name is a blessing and chosing one is important ) This is also an opportunity for parents to share a cool moment with family and friends. I felt priviledged to be involved with this actual survey and these parents are the furthest from narcissistic and closer to “ahead-of-the-curve”. Also couldn’t this type of crowd-sourcing have possibly spared the world a few Mikkayllahs?

  56. Mommyishblows

    January 10, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    In regards to #4
    1) no one expects you to care about this, YOU DON’T KNOW THEM. For dear friends and family this was an exciting way to get involved
    2) “attention-seeking narcissism” is the farthest from the case, so you missed the mark here, not surprising since YOU DON’T KNOW THEM
    3) Leaving their last name on the post is careless and ignorant, if you want to share your (oh so loving) opinions, fine. It is your character being displayed, but leave your examples general, show some respect.

  57. Adam

    January 10, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    A few problems with your fourth example: You forgot to block out an occurrence of the family’s name in the photo…which is an interesting bit of short sightedness in an article where you are criticizing people for being shortsighted. You should correct that immediately.

    Also, you say in that example “Can’t people come up with their own baby names?” – which I think is what you criticized people for doing in the previous three examples. Not to mention it is common for people to seek input on naming their children. Utilizing modern media to include even more family and friends in their joyful experience isn’t that far fetched – and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t for you to exploit and condescend.

    • Aunt Sarah

      January 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

      Please block out the last name in #4.

      It’s so easy to complain about other people. You are NOT friends with Audrey, and it is completely inconsiderate to post this in a public place when her Facebook page is private. Her friends and family enjoyed being involved in naming her son and I’m proud to call myself Aunt Sarah.

      Remember that you set the example for your own children. Do you want them to grow up thinking it’s fine to publicly insult people based on snap judgments? I hope not!

    • Kate

      January 17, 2012 at 4:00 pm

      Mega points to you for being the only one to maturely point that out…

  58. Erin

    January 12, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    I know someone who named their baby Azazel, another name for Lucifer.
    I also watched a little boy named Cruz Strait. Coolest name ever..

    • irritated

      August 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm

      my nephew was named azazel at birth, its also a color. When parents realized it they changed it.

  59. Katja

    January 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    My mother would make home visits to kids with speech problems and one of her clients had a 4 year old daughter named Dacodea (pronounced Dakota). My mother asked her why would she do that to her kid and she told her that she misspelled Dakota on a spelling test when she was freaking 8 but she was so set on that particular spelling she would hold onto it her whole life until she had her first baby.

    Well, that client married someone who had two kids with K names (something like Kyle and Kelly) and they had another baby on the way who they were going to give a K name to. So my mother, after a lot of prodding, convinced her to legally change her daughter’s name to Kody since that’s what they were calling her anyway.

    • nobabyzone

      January 18, 2012 at 11:14 pm

      That seems really rude and intrusive of your mother.

    • Tobi

      January 18, 2012 at 11:20 pm

      Yeah, really.

    • irritated

      August 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

      kody’s a name for a dog…..

  60. MyLifeWentDownTheTubesWhenMyParentsNamedMeToilet

    March 22, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    I’ll take a McKenzie or whatever variation over certain Victorian names. Susan Semolina-Thrower or Princess Cheese, anyone?

  61. Angela

    May 18, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Worst name I have ever seen: N-a

    Yes, N-a.

    Pronunciation? Nadasha

    • headdesk

      July 8, 2012 at 6:25 pm

      You saw it on the internet. Where someone made it up.

      Try again. No one is actually named that.

    • irritated

      August 23, 2012 at 4:22 pm

      yes, they are…I have seen variations. Also, Abcd (ab-suh-dee), hohandsome cashmere, toofine, and roblowe…..

    • Angela

      July 8, 2012 at 6:47 pm

      @headdesk – I know for a FACT it is a real name. I work for a company that provides immunizations to children and I saw the shot record. Try again yourself.

    • headdesk

      July 8, 2012 at 8:02 pm

      Oh ho ho! I know you’re definitely telling the truth! Let me guess, when you asked about the pronunciation the mother said, “The dash be silent”.

      Your story doesn’t even make sense. If you just saw the name on a record then how do you have any clue how it’s pronounced?

    • irritated

      August 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

      hahaha, poor people couldn’t spell

  62. Gabrielle

    May 24, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    GREAT article! People that do this to their kids are ignorant and selfish. We really do live up to , (or in these case, down to), our names. Choosing an identity for a brand new person should be taken VERY seriously! Though the fad will fade and the parent will hopefully grow up, the kid will be stuck with it for the rest of their lives!

    • But...

      May 25, 2012 at 6:46 am

      So you’re angry that your parents named you Gabrielle? Wouldn’t you consider that ignorant and selfish as well?

    • Gabrielle

      May 25, 2012 at 11:04 am

      @ But… To reply to your question “So you’re angry that your parents named you Gabrielle? Wouldn’t you consider that ignorant and selfish as well?” No, I’m not angry. I love my name. It’s a classic. But I would be angry if they spelled it Gabriyell or some other “unique” misspelling. I’m assuming your parents didn’t really name you But, because that would make anyone angry! 🙂

    • But

      May 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm

      You’re missing the point. The point is that some of these names are names just as old as Gabrielle or older. One in particular that is made fun of a lot is Aiden. Another is Bentley.
      Aiden happens to be an old Irish name, while Bentley is an old English name. People like you seem to have no issue in making fun of these names just as much as others, but you don’t stop to consider that Gabrielle isn’t the most classic name in all areas. Turn the tables for once. Realize that in some regions, Gabrielle is known as a trailer park name, just as are Nevaeh and Destinee.

    • Gabrielle

      May 25, 2012 at 12:59 pm

      @ But, I like Aiden and I don’t have an opinion on Bentley. My issue is with people purposefully misspelling their child’s name without considering how it will impact the child. The child will spend the rest of their lives explaining their name and trying to correct people who spell the name properly, but not the way theirs is actually spelled. It isn’t cute or trendy and it certainly doesn’t add anything to the name or to the one who’s stuck with it. It is ignorant to choose to misspell a name. I had to chuckle when I read what you wrote about Gabrielle being a trailer park name like Nevaeh and Destinee. Maybe if they misspell it, I suppose then it would be trailer park perfect too! Come on now, fess up, did your parents really name you But?

  63. Emily Cain

    June 4, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    Most of these arguments against unusually spelled names are pretty moot.

    My name is exactly as you see it here and no one manages to get it right–I always have to spell my name out.

    The only perks I’ve experienced so far from having a short, popular, white bread name are 1) relative anonymity in Google searches, and 2) I can always find tacky keychains at the beach.

    Downsides include but are not limited to confusing role calls, tests and homework being handed to the wrong person, getting the wrong bills, and answering to strangers who were calling for a different Emily.

  64. asturnut

    June 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    I work in a Maternity Center and some of my (least) favorites included

    Aul’tum (I asked the mom if she MEANT to spell it like that and she shrugged and said her neice picked out the name, but she had no idea how to actually spell autumn)
    Iam God Allah (first middle last- poor kid is gonna get TORTURED)
    Candida (the mom had been diagnosed with a yeast infection and liked the sound of it. SERIOUSLY. I asked her if she realized she’d get teased and she said no one was gonna know what it means. SIGH)

    We also had a patient whose baby’s first name had 3 apostrophes and one hyphen. I can’t even remember what it was because it was too complicated!

    We’ve had some doozie’s in the past decade… I wish I had kept a list!

    • liltampa71

      August 18, 2012 at 6:44 am

      In a baby book I saw the name Abcde (pronounced Ab-c -dee.) I will name my next child Wxyz.

    • Tangie Miner

      September 3, 2012 at 3:48 pm

      Candida is a Spanish name. It means “white.”

      I know what you mean about people naming their kids after booze. I went to school with a lot of girls named Brandy.

  65. asturnut

    June 17, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Oh and what about people who name their kids after liquor? GACK! I’ve known several people who did this, and proudly share that “that’s what I was drinking when I got knocked up” What is WRONG with people?

    Two examples:
    Remy Martin (a girl, no less!)

    And my all-time favorite white trash name was “Crystal Tiara”. Yeap, that’s the kind of name I would have named my fictional barbie babies when I was SIX!!! People need to grow up.

  66. cg

    August 1, 2012 at 11:15 am

    My parents named me Chrystal-never crazy about the name, but I blame the age they were when they had me-my younger brothers all got timeless, biblical names. Now that I’m 32 and trying to be taken seriously, I go by Chrys, which is all my family has ever called me anyway. It’s a good thing, because I married a man with the last name ‘Glascock’–and took his last name.

    • liltampa71

      August 18, 2012 at 6:42 am

      Chrys, I can relate to the Biblical names thing. I am, however, the youngest. Siblings are David Michael, James Thomas and Rebecca Lee. All Biblical, first and last (from my pastor father). I am Tammy Christine. I found out later that Tammy means perfection and Christine means christian, so I joke they named me best (I am not a perfect anything), but it made me feel left out when I was younger.

  67. liltampa71

    August 18, 2012 at 6:39 am

    I know someone who had twins. Named them Trinity and Messiah. God complex anyone? And to complain that a child has the same name as your child. My son’s first name is common, last name is not. There is still someone with the same name – not related to my knowledge – that lives in the same county as his dad. And I’m sure my son will never get confused or feel less than because of this.

  68. irritated

    August 23, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    Parents also need to stop with the “aiden/addison” names….I worked at a school. 1 classroom had a shayden, braden, caiden, jayden, addison, maddison…I wanted to call all the parents together and just yell REALLY??? And spell the names correctly, it is so annoying to constantly hear my name is Jackson, spelled with an x! Last, rant….Nevaeh….we get it, its heaven backwards. We also get that you are most likely poor, ignorant trash. I can guess and be about 95% right on socioeconomic status by a child’s name.

    • Tangie Miner

      September 3, 2012 at 3:44 pm

      Really? You would meet a five year old child named Nevaeh or Jaxon, and immediately label them poor, ignorant trash? That says waaaaayyyy more about you than it does about them.

    • kittybear

      April 21, 2014 at 12:45 am

      Not the kid…the parents are poor ignorant trash. The kid can’t choose their own name.

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  71. Tashina Demman

    October 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Oh ridiculous baby names. Saw a lady on facebook who named her daughter Maebie. Now I’m not one to make fun of names, but COME ON! I’m just imagining the poor girl in school:
    Teacher: “Can you tell me your name?”
    Maebie: “Maebie.”
    I chose a unique name for my son. Ezraeus. Most people pronounce it correctly and it means, more or less, helper. I’ve grown up my whole life with people mis-spelling my name (Tashina) and when people ask what my name is, I say it and then spell it so they don’t say, ‘pardon me?’ a million times.

    • Leigha7

      August 13, 2013 at 8:50 pm

      Maeby is one of the main characters in Arrested Development. I’ll admit that, if you forget about the WORD “maybe,” it actually sounds like an okay name. But the word would make it problematic in real life.

  72. Name that is hard and I hate

    November 1, 2012 at 10:46 am

    My name is so difficult for people to pronounce. I never liked the name when I was a kid and still don’t like it today.

  73. Pingback: I’m a Hater. | We Have Twins?!

  74. noa

    February 6, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    I lived in Georgia for a couple of years and the names I heard around there were astounding. Examples:
    My mother knew a woman who had her son but was unsure what to name him. The hospital happened to serve her dinner in the midst of her name deciding and with dinner came orange jello. So what was the poor lad named? Ornello.
    My father worked with underage sex offenders and had two that were named Shithead (pronounced shi-tea-yed) and another named Diarrhea (pronounced duh-rear-ee-u [u as in shut]).
    I went to school with a boy named Sexona. Middle name Table. His sister’s name was Pleasure. That is inappropriate beyond belief and yet I am not making it up. Ironically another student had the last name of Hofocker. That always elicited a snicker out of everyone in gym class because the teacher insisted on calling everyone by their last name.
    I also knew a boy named Truly which always made me want to break out in the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang theme song because I always thought of Truly Scrumptious.
    My sister goes to school with a boy named Baby. And I know someone named Jeep.
    Lastly I know someone who named their child Emry. It was going to be Kindle (sp?) but people kept asking if her child was going to love reading.

    And lastly my parents saddled me with Shenoa. Pronounced shi (as in ship), know, u (as in cup). Once people hear it pronounced properly they coo over how pretty it is but I am constantly having to spell it out for people. The nicknames I get are even worse: Shayshay, Shonono (to go along with Shayesyes), Shenandoah (Valley), Shaniqua, Sheshe… the list goes on for miles. I was 18 when someone finally pronounced my name correctly the first time and I was so shocked that I literally stopped dead in my tracks and looked around in shock because I genuinely thought I was hallucinating.

    • noa

      February 6, 2013 at 3:34 pm

      Posted on the wrong article. Dangit.

  75. 24601

    November 11, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    One of my favorite comedy bits is David Alan Grier reading medication names as though they were kid names. Comedy gold!

    “Mavik! MAVIK!!! Don’t you talk to Januvia like that! Mavik Parlodel Williams! You look at me when I’m talkin to you! “

  76. Kittybear

    April 21, 2014 at 12:42 am

    I have a friend who is naming her son Avery…..perhaps it used to be used a bit more for boys, but nowadays its become more of a girls’ name, and that’s exactly how I associate it. I know somebody whose kids’ names are Markus and Maekynzie. I also know somebody who named her daughter Stella Rosa, and swears she wasn’t named after the wine (and btw, before the baby was born, she was made well aware that was the name of wine, and I think she had jokingly suggested it because of that).

    People choose stupid names. I would happily name my daughter Kaylee, but I hope others don’t find it to be a stupid name.

  77. Cori

    May 21, 2014 at 1:19 am

    …So nobody’s heard of Harper Lee?

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