References to Dexter, "Silence of the Lambs,"
and American Horror Story (?) are cool and all, but it's not Halloween anymore. It's Christmas. And these pictures are kind of fucked up. As much as I enjoy twisted humor, creativity, and furthering the art of turning women into victims of violent crimes, I can't get behind this collection of imagined atrocities. I know, I know -- I'm so boring. Imagining the Elf on the Shelf as a serial killer with a knowing smile is what Christmas satire is all about. But rather than relish in the bloody head of a Barbie, I can't help but feel reminded of the hundreds of real life violent crimes being committed against women every year. Call me crazy, but these pictures are the result of a societal obsession with turning women into disposable (and often naked) sacrifices for sheer entertainment. I might regret saying this, but I think I prefer the Elf when he's just drinking syrup and drawing on children's heads
. Although, I still vehemently despise that Elf, too, along with all the parents who force us to indulge in their "creativity" every day of every December. For the love of all that is Holy and Christian, please, parents -- just stop.