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STFU Parents: Mothers Who Expect Special Treatment — For Being Mothers

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Last week the Huffington Post ran an article titled, “Pregnancy As Disability: Professor Wants Coverage Under American With Disabilities Act.” The article, written by Jeannette Cox, a law professor at the University of Dayton (Ohio), focuses on Cox’s argument that “”pregnant workers currently have less legal standing” than people with comparable limitations,” and therefore pregnancy should be protected under the ADA. Cox’s argument sounds pretty reasonable, but after giving it further thought and posting the link on the STFU, Parents Facebook page, several other factors worth considering came to mind.

First, many STFU, Parents readers pointed out that pregnancy is a condition one (usually) has by choice, and a disability is often something a person must involuntarily live with forever. That distinction alone is hard for many people to swallow when considering labeling pregnancy as a “disability.” But beyond that, many people (including dozens of pregnant women and moms) noted that women are already protected if they have complications resulting from pregnancy, so this “temporary” disability claim isn’t really necessary (and is actually a little insulting). However, I think it’s fair to say that Cox’s push for this disability status has more to do with employers who treat their pregnant employees badly, and her main interest is to ensure job security.

What all of this tells me is that there are many sides to this argument, and all are worth acknowledging. Yes, Cox’s hypothetical solution to the employer problem has women’s best interests in mind, but it could bring about a slew of other issues, as well. For me personally, the potential problems that came to mind have more to do with subjects I’ve read about in STFUP submissions.

As we saw last week, sometimes moms are not particularly sensitive to “old people,” and based on prior posts on my blog along with current submissions, they’re not always especially understanding of the needs of handicapped people, either. In fact, while I’m not saying Cox’s idea of ADA protection is a bad idea, I’d propose that some women would actually abuse their rights as a “temporarily disabled” person both during and after pregnancy. Some already do, minus the official status recognition.

Here are a few examples:

1. Bathroom Stall Expectations

STFU Parents

This is an ongoing debate that seemingly has no resolution. Technically the large bathroom stalls are for people with disabilities who need extra space to maneuver in the stall, be it because of a walker, a wheelchair or some other reason. Any mom knows that those stalls are the ideal stalls to use whether you have a baby in a giant stroller or an older toddler who still needs a little help. BUT, that being said, mothers are not entitled to using those stalls, because they are not in fact handicapped. This presents a problem when a person who has no kids and no disability walks out of the handicapped stall after a mother has been waiting with her child and becomes irate.

Don’t believe it can happen? Oh, it can. This is an email I received last week ago from a reader:

STFU Parents

I have to say, I’d have done the same as Kristin. What else can you do but laugh off a person who’s yelling at you for taking up a handicapped stall when that person has no disability? Whether the person is trying to get to the changing table, park her stroller, or just help her son use the toilet, the only real solution for parents is to – gasp! – wait their turn. But my question is, if a woman gets labeled as having a temporary disability because she’s pregnant, would she have automatic and immediate access to these stalls? And how would that access play out once she’s had the baby and now has a stroller to contend with (but no “disability”)? Something tells me scenes like the one Kristin described could become much more common.

2. Hockey Game Expectations

STFU Parents

 

I don’t know who Stephanie’s friends are, but I’m impressed with the way they speak up in this thread. I think this is an accurate example of the way many women feel about motherhood, and also a great example of why labeling pregnancy as a disability could be a bad thing. After all, if you’re told you have a temporary disability for nine long months of pregnancy, it could be hard to go back to thinking that you’re just an “average person” who can’t claim the same rights as a disabled person once the baby is born. That may sound ridiculous, but clearly some mothers equate their post-pregnancy struggles with those of a disabled person, so it’s something worth discussing.

3. Expectant and New Mother Parking

STFU Parents

I don’t know that it’s a law that pregnant women can cut to the front of any line in Paris, but it’s certainly a fact that France is rated as having some of the best health care in the world. There’s no doubt in my mind that if pregnant women were treated the same in the US as they are in a country like France, I might not even be writing this article. But unfortunately that isn’t the case, so instead of receiving the health care we deserve, pregnant women and mothers cling to the things that make their lives easier, like “special” parking rights at stores and malls. These parking spaces are a hotly debated subject on STFU, Parents and might even warrant their own column someday. But for now, the main issue lies in the fact that: A) Some women believe there should be far more of these spaces (and some even think there should be more expectant mother spaces than handicapped spaces), and B) People become outraged when someone who isn’t a parent (or doesn’t have a child with them) parks in one of the spaces.

I happen to like it when a parent tackles such a conflict with a sense of humor:

STFU Parents

Remember, moms: Whether pregnancy will one day fall under ADA or not, if you’re not actually having a rough pregnancy, and you don’t actually suffer from a disability, you’re the same as everyone else. You may be a superhero to some, but to the person using the handicapped stall in the bathroom, and the person parking at the grocery store, and the usher working at the Metro Center, you’re just another lady with a baby.

206 Comments

  1. Anne

    January 11, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    One other point on handicap stalls that is often overlooked. They are not for the *exclusive* use of disabled patrons — they are simply there so that disabled patrons have a larger stall to use when they need one. There is ZERO reason for them to stay open just waiting for a disabled person (or overly entitled mother) to use them.

    • NotThumper

      January 11, 2012 at 3:50 pm

      Something I have noticed in several establishments near me is that the changing station is INSIDE the handicap stall. I don’t think that’s a great idea, I think it’s just asking for trouble.

    • Rebecca

      January 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm

      Exactly! I have two little ones, so we always go in a handicapped stall. But if there was an actual handicapped person waiting we’d let them go first. And I certainly wouldn’t get pissy with another person for using the “golden toilet”. That’s just ridiculous.

    • Lulu

      July 13, 2013 at 1:52 pm

      But how do you know if there’s an “actual handicapped person waiting”? You’d never know I can’t get up without grab bars by looking at me. And you and all your kids take, like, 20 minutes to finish your business.

    • kate

      January 11, 2012 at 4:04 pm

      Very true! Last time I went to barnes and noble, the handicap stall was taken, so i had to have my two older kids stand right out side the door, balance the baby on my lap, and pee VERY fast. but i didnt even think to get pissed at the woman who was actually in there! mine own fault for having to pee while out with three kids. haha

  2. Makenna

    January 11, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Having had a difficult pregnancy (SPD), I can understand the expecting mommy parking spots. Walking was painful and sometimes impossible. And yeah, handicapped toilets were nice (The railing helped me get up and down), but I didn’t feel I had a right…
    If this was JUST about work, I would be pleased. But like it’s mentioned, parents, expecting or no, would abuse the system.

    This is why we can’t have nice things!

    • tijde

      January 11, 2012 at 10:52 pm

      I have a question for you, but it’s not one of those “Well, DO you?!” questions. I’m just curious. I’ve read comments like this and I’ve always wondered… If you need the closer space, do you use a store-provided wheelchair or scooter-thing once you get in the door? Or just lean on the shopping cart or something? I’ve got mobility issues myself, but in my case, those few extra parking spaces aren’t likely to make a difference if I’m walking around the store anyway. So I’ve never bothered with applying for a placard. I just wondered if I’m the anomaly in that or what.

  3. miriamgc

    January 11, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    Being pregnant should not be classified as a disability. Granted, it is a condition that can be disabling, but to declare it a disability is demeaning to women. Not to sound corny but being pregnant is kind of the opposite of a disability, it’s a super-ability. Getting pregnancy covered by the ADA would give fodder to misogynists and detract from the very real struggles of disabled people.

    That said, those pregnant lady parking spots were a lifesaver when I was pregnant. I was pregnant through the whole summer (had my son in early September) and it was hot as hell and my lung capacity was much less than normal, and walking from my car to the store was an ordeal. Also it was a nice little perk when I was feeling like shit. Now I’m less likely to use a “mother with child” space because my trick is parking next to the cart corrals, wherever they are, so I can hoist my toddler out of the car and into a cart easily.

    • kate

      January 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm

      Oh me too! parking by the carts is a life safer, much easier with the baby. though i do miss the pregnancy parking..lol.

  4. Hibbie

    January 11, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    The entitlement, it burns!

  5. Erica

    January 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    I actually got yelled at yesterday for using a pregnant woman parking space. I was stopping at WalMart to get a prescription filled on my way home from the hospital. Some woman told me that I don’t look pregnant and shouldn’t take the space from someone who needs it. I could have killed her. I’m not pregnant, but had in fact just come from the hospital after having a miscarriage.

    • Sarah

      January 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm

      Yeesh. Sorry, Erica. 🙁

    • Lilypie

      January 11, 2012 at 4:12 pm

      There are no words, except I’m sorry. 🙁

    • STFU Parents

      January 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

      I’m so sorry to hear that, Erica. That’s another thing about those spaces – you can’t always tell when a person is pregnant (or has just suffered a miscarriage). I hope you’re doing okay.

    • WMDKitty

      January 11, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      *winces*

      Oooh. Ouch. That’s adding insult to injury.

      ‘Sides, those pregnant women parking spaces can’t be legally enforced — park away!

    • Faine

      January 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

      I’m so very sorry, Erica. I very much empathize with you. I had a similar experience last year going to Walgreens from the hospital after we found out I had miscarried. It wasn’t the parking space, but a woman with her children cut in front of us at the counter as we were dropping off my prescription. When my SO said “Excuse me” she said “I have children–do you? If not, you can wait.” Some people are so wrapped up in creating their own ‘importance’ that they fail at being a member of the human race.

  6. Lynn

    January 11, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    These people are disgusting and should be ashamed. I have a handicapped father and had a difficult pregnancy with hospital bedrest. I never behaved this way or felt entitled. I have actually blocked non-handicapped people in while calling traffic cops to ticket them when they took handicapped spaces. The level of disrespect and entitlement is so sad.

  7. Andrea

    January 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    Ok, the woman that posted about Paris reminds me of something. I have traveled quite a bit when I was younger and only moved to the US when I was 15 years old. My children were born here and the only time we traveled abroad was when my oldest was 18 months old and we went to Brazil where my father was on a job assignment.

    Well, let me tell you. I got the ROYAL treatment at the Rio airport. I went ahead of the line, they carried my bags, I breezed through customs and immigration (this was pre- 9/11, but still), and everyone was as awesome as they could be. I had never experienced anything like it. And NO one else that was waiting gave me any crap about getting preferential treatment.

    I think the problem is that here mombies have a crappy attitude. If maybe they were a little more humble and not expect preferential treatment just because they dropped a kid, they would get it more often.

    It is (based on observation) VERY much the truth that moms are treated much better abroad than here in the US. But I think it also has to do with the fact that women abroad don’t act like self entitled witches.

    • redweasel

      January 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

      I completely agree. A decent attitude and a little bit of humility go a long way with me. If they march around with a snotty attitude, they shouldn’t be so surprised when no one wants to help them out!

  8. pregnantlady

    January 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    I’m pregnant & have a toddler and not only does pregnant parking rule but so do handicap stalls. And it’s only annoying to find they’re in use when the changing table is located in there you have a kid with a leaking or crappy diaper. But I forgot—according to most readers of this article/writer I shouldnt be taking my kid out of the house before she’s potty trained anyway. I’m such an entitled POS parent!!!

    • Haha

      January 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

      Yup.

    • Sarah

      January 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

      Pretty sure no one’s saying you’re an entitled POS parent for taking your not-yet-potty-trained kid out of the house… just that if the stall you would like to use is occupied, you have to wait your turn just like everyone else. Or that if the pregnancy parking is occupied, you have to park somewhere else just like everyone else. If that really seems unreasonable, that’s a bit of a personal problem of yours.

    • cordelia

      January 11, 2012 at 4:34 pm

      My mom tells us that when she started having children, there were no handicap stalls or changing tables at all. She would go into a regular stalls and lay a clean diaper over her chest to keep herself clean, then prop my oldest sister up against the bathroom wall with her chest, so her hands would be free to clean my sister and change the diaper. It took three diapers for each change — one to remove from the baby, one to put on the baby, and a third to keep my mom clean. And they were cloth diapers that my mom would have to go home and wash. It kind of puts things in perspective when you’re waiting to use the handicap stall.

    • Shannon

      January 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm

      Wow. No one is saying don’t take your kid out of the house pre-potty training. They’re saying that you should have to wait your turn just like everyone else and how do you know the person using the stall doesn’t have a disability. There are, in fact, invisible disability. Hell, I knew someone who had to use the handicap stall because she’d have a panic attack if she went in the smaller ones. You are not special. So, like I said, wait your turn.

    • tijde

      January 11, 2012 at 10:34 pm

      There’s absolutely nothing wrong with using and appreciating a courtesy when it’s extended to you. I love the Saniwipes at the door, and cup holders and bag rack on the carts at my favorite grocery store. They’re a marketing tool, and a smart one–it’s my favorite store for a reason! The problems only occur when you expect those same bonuses everywhere you go, and demand it when they don’t. If you don’t do that, congrats! You’re not an entitled jerk. But I forgot–I haven’t had a kid, so I should just keep my selfish alcoholic mouth shut and go shop at Wet Seal or something.*

      *For facetious purposes only. May be hazardous for small children. Use only as directed.

    • pseudocryptic

      January 13, 2012 at 3:27 am

      You know what’s annoying? Having to stand in increasing pain/fatigue (from the actual standing) and discomfort (from the having to wait to use the loo) while someone who isn’t disabled* uses the disabled loo. Having to worry about whether this will be the first time I discover I actually can’t hold it.

      *I always remind myself that I can’t tell if someone’s disabled by looking at them, and by the way NOR CAN YOU, but you are by your own implied admission not disabled. You know full well that you aren’t disabled, you have no idea whether the person using the loo before you is or not, so stop complaining and enjoy your pregnancy. And fwiw, I have a kid myself.

    • Brandi

      January 13, 2012 at 10:05 pm

      Um, if you think that your poopy diaper reigns supreme over a disabled person’s right to that stall, then yes. Otherwise, quit being dramatic.

  9. Toast

    January 11, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    You chose to get pregnant, most of the time. And if it’s an accident there is always abortion. Pregnancy is ALWAYS a choice, disability is not. Get over yourselves entitled bitches.

    • Erin W

      January 11, 2012 at 6:57 pm

      Some pregnant women have an overinflated sense of entitlement, yes, but there is no call for your attitude. I hope you don’t throw “there’s always abortion,” around too regularly. My guess is it doesn’t go over well.

      P.S. I’m not a mom, just a polite human being.

    • JMB

      January 12, 2012 at 7:53 pm

      Hostility. Yeah, you are taking the high road there, Toast.

      Having kids is not a lifestyle choice. Every species on the planet has kids. Even though we learned how to prevent it, it’s still a natural thing.
      Making people ashamed or shunned for having kids is not how we should treat each other.
      Just because you don’t have kids doesn’t make you entitled to talk down to those who do.
      Some of these kids you detest so much are going to be the ones caring for your sorry ass when you’re old.

    • tijde

      January 12, 2012 at 9:04 pm

      I agree with Erin here; Toast’s comment was unreasonably hostile. I’m not a parent either, and I’d never tell a woman “there’s always abortion.”
      No one should be shamed for their reproductive decisions, and the children themselves certainly aren’t at fault. That said, raising kids is absolutely a lifestyle choice for the women featured above. No one has a personal biological imperative to reproduce. Claiming to have no choice in the matter because “it’s natural” is a slap in the face to every disabled person and everyone who cannot physically procreate.

    • Toast

      January 12, 2012 at 9:13 pm

      I don’t think pointing out that abortion is an option is hostile. I’ve never told anybody to get an abortion. I have had conversations where women say “Well accidents happen.” in regards to why they *had* to have a kid, and I’ve said “There’s always a options.” Abortion, and adoption. Or just using birth control in the first place (which I know fails, hence where the other two come in.) Just because some people are uncomfortable with it doesn’t mean I’m being rude by pointing out a simple fact. If you’re against a woman being in control of her body then I really don’t want to be talking to you anyway.
      That’s my point though. Pregnancy is always a choice you make, being disabled is not.
      If noone should be ashamed of their reproductive decisions why is it that women who have abortions are made to feel ashamed? I’m not saying nobody can have kids, I’m saying STFU and stop whining about how you need special treatment because of it.
      JMB I’m curious, just because another species does something you think it’s ok for humans to do it? You know some species eat their own young right?

    • tijde

      January 12, 2012 at 11:42 pm

      Toast, it wasn’t just mentioning abortion that made your first post seem hostile to me. It was the way you mentioned it (excluding the other options you mentioned later, terse tone), where you mentioned it (a site called Mommyish), and name calling that made your comment seem like intentional flamebait.

      That said, I think we have quite similar viewpoints, but decidedly different ideas of tact. Yes, abortion’s an option; a woman should have the right to choose it. But it’s by no means a simple one. Bringing it up casually assumes a lot about whomever you’re speaking to, and I consider that tactless. In much the same way, I wouldn’t mention suicide as a solution to a terminally ill person, even though it is, in fact, an option, and one I’d personally consider. I’m comparing the two because both entail the right to control one’s own body, and both are complex, controversial, and highly personal subjects. And yeah, abortion *is* a reproductive decision, so I don’t think anyone should be shamed for it.

      Finally, on your main point we’re in violent agreement: Having children is a choice. Disability is not. The two cannot be equated.

    • Sophia

      January 14, 2012 at 2:26 am

      Disability is a choice. You could always kill yourself. Now, see how stupid your comment sounds.

    • WMDKitty

      January 14, 2012 at 3:04 am

      @Sophia — Yeah, back in the 1920’s, there was this other guy who thought the disabled should just be killed… what was his name again?

  10. Marisa

    January 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    My father and I went to IKEA not long ago to look at bookshelves for my new apartment. It was a mob scene and the only parking spots available were the ones reserved for “people with children” as the sign read. My dad proceeded to pull into the spot. Taken back, since my father isn’t the type of person who regularly does such a thing, I assumed he missed the sign and pointed it out to him. He turned and around and said “it’s say ‘people with children’ and your my child. I dare someone to challenge me.” While I was a bit ashamed to say the least, he made a good point, like this article does. Poorly worded signs or regulations will lead to situations like this. While I think out of politeness a seat should be offered to a heavily pregnant woman on a crowded bus, it’s not mandatory. I think people are afraid to be a little honest and tell moms the world does not revolve around your offspring. PS – please save the judgement for my dad’s decision. I gave him plenty of it myself.

  11. Micha

    January 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Wow, pregnantlady, you sure took this to an extreme. No one said you couldn’t use the handicapped stall or the pregnant parking. Does it still piss you off when it is a handicapped person in the stall you have to *gasp* wait for? Get over yourself. For the record, I have a toddler and I do have to wait sometimes to use the diaper changing table when it is in a stall. You know what i do? i *deal* with it. If you are looking for everyone to jump out of your way because you have a baby, you have a long wait coming.

  12. Lilypie

    January 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    US law actually states that pregnancy is a temporary disability. I know for a fact that California residents get TDI after giving birth.

    http://www.naalc.org/migrant/english/pdf/mgusawpr_en.pdf

    Kind of makes the whole bathroom stall issue seem small.

  13. missminute

    January 11, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    It seems to me that pregnancy is about as disabling as obesity, and even that is less of a choice than having a baby.

  14. Lauren K

    January 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    God, I just love this whole article. I for one do NOT think women should get special privileges because they are having or have had a baby. It is very much a choice, there are options, whether you believe in them or not, there are options out there and you CHOSE to have that child. I mean I do think one should always open doors for pregnant women, women with strollers and always help them bring strollers down the stairs ’cause that stuff is a bitch, basically just be a decent human being but special privileges is a big fat NO.
    Also, Stephanie has me flabbergasted. My mouth literally dropped when I saw her response to Leo’s comment. And I love how she can’t even take into consideration what her friends say and just flounces back with a child’s retort of “Well, I guess I’ll just never go anywhere with my daughter.” You really helped with your maturity there!
    My question is if being a mother(parent) is such a rewarding, beautiful thing to do, then why would you need special privileges? Shouldn’t being a mother or father be enough of a privilege?

  15. dina

    January 11, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    As a pregnant woman, I’m more amazed by what I am still able to do, rather than any limitations I’m experiencing as my body changes. Talk to me in two months, and I’m sure I’ll be ready to be over with the whole state of affairs, but for now I’m grateful for the ability to keep on keepin’ on just as I always have. Maybe pregnancy is a disability for some, but for me it’s a testament to my strength as a woman.

    • STFU Parents

      January 11, 2012 at 6:15 pm

      Awesome! You go girl 🙂 (And I mean that.)

    • snarkygigi

      January 11, 2012 at 7:28 pm

      I love you Dina!

      As someone who suffers from a disability, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the days when I’m feeling well enough that I don’t need a special parking place or bathroom stall. In fact, I wish I could just chuck all the stuff all together and be… well, healthy. I, like you, get more excited about the stuff I can do and the days I feel great than the days I don’t.

      I once took a 90 minute spinning class where the instructor was a personal friend. Every 10 minutes or so, she’d shout out to me, “how you feelin’ babe?” I was unable to shout back (my carido isn’t the best LOL) but I would give her the thumbs up. If I needed to slow down, she’d let me know it was okay to rest and push when I felt ready. She encouraged me throughout the entire class and when we were done, she came over and told me how proud she was of me. That’s a day I want to remember and celebrate… not the day I spent all day in bed. 🙂

    • LawGeekNYC

      April 5, 2013 at 8:53 pm

      I think only someone who has never been disabled would see accommodation as a perk, and being disabled as status to vie for. I have a metal rod in my spine, and I *celebrate* the fact that I can park far away and walk!

    • Sausages

      January 11, 2012 at 7:35 pm

      Thank you Dina!!! I feel exactly the same way! I am pregnant with my third (crazy, I know!!!) and I was bawled out by my MIL’s friend for picking up some luggage. She asked me if I had forgotten I was pregnant – I told her I was pregnant, not disabled. ARGH!

    • Steph

      January 14, 2012 at 2:02 am

      Amen!!

  16. Lucille Bluth

    January 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    With 70% of the USA being overweight or obese, how would we be able to tell pregnant women from women who are just fat? Someone was saying that they went to Brazil and was treated like a queen because she was pregnant, but here in the USA, if someone has a big belly, its most likely because she is fat.

  17. Minka

    January 11, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    I NEVER use the handicapped bathroom stall, not because I’m being nice, but because I read a study once that said the handicapped stall has twice as many germs as other stalls (stalls nearest the door have less germs lol). But I’ll be damned if I don’t park in the expectant mother parking space at the store and snicker too! Tell me, if you’re soooooooo pregnant that you need to park closer to the store, then how are you going to walk all around the store with your cart smh

    • aliceblue

      January 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm

      In my area it is parent with child parking ( recently changed from “elderly, injured and pregnant parking – no idea why) There is no age limit indicated. I still remember seeing a van pull in & a 7 or 8 year-old slide open the side door and hop out. Plus, it doesn’t even make sense to be closer to the store because you have small kids. You should be next to the “cart corrals” (or whatever they call them in your region) so 1. you have more room to decant the kids (the spots for kids are closer, not bigger) and 2. you can take kid right from the car/van to the cart. Once the kid’s in the cart, does it matter if you go 1 or 8 spaces to the store?

    • eileenmaeray

      January 11, 2012 at 10:24 pm

      I really think that’s a jerk move. I was in the hospital 5 times in the last two months of my pregnancy, ended up being sick for two years, had to have four surgeries in one year…and if I had to drag my miserable ass to the store and had to walk all that extra way because you think it’s funny to be kind of a jerk, well…I probably would have sobbed because yeah, I was in that much pain. Still had to go buy things though and it was fucking hard, so every step I could be spared was really wonderful. You should consider the fact that while most pregnant women do not need these spaces, some of them do. badly. If she’s a single mom in a town without family nearby, she’s going to have to do her own shopping no matter how hard it is. etc…there are a million reasons.

    • Nancy

      January 12, 2012 at 7:52 am

      @eileenmaeray That’s terrible 🙁 But did you try to apply for a disability placard? If you were that sick you probably could’ve got one, and then parked in the disability parking.

  18. Pix

    January 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    I am not pregnant and do not have children, but I think some of this stuff is a common courtesy issue.

    Like the handicap stall. Don’t use it if you don’t have to. If you are disabled, carrying large luggage, have a child with you, there is reason to use it. For the rest of us, the reason ‘I just like it better’ is frankly, for me, not polite at all. If I walk into a restroom and there are four empty, “clean,” TP stocked stalls, then I have four choices of a stall I can use with reasonable comfort. But someone who then rolls in in a wheelchair (or with a stroller) has one. One stall. Why do you really need to be taking up the ONLY stall they can comfortable use?

    If there is a full bathroom or a line I am all for using that stall. It’s silly to leave it empty if it is your only choice. But otherwise, why use it when you can use others?

    I don’t think people should flip out about it, but if I was in a wheelchair, I think I’d run into the problem enough that it would get frustrating.

    BE CONSIDERATE. IT’S NOT THAT HARD.

    • Pix

      January 11, 2012 at 4:54 pm

      I find ignoring the expectant mothers parking spots to be pretty self-centered as well. And it shocks me that a woman who has been pregnant and hauled around an infant and toddler (woman in the last post) would take that spot if there were other choices.

      Again, NO other spots, I could see it. But otherwise why can’t you just be nice and leave the spot open for someone hauling around a stroller, child, and diaper bag when all you have to carry is your purse.

      Why do people find it so difficult to be a little courteous?

    • WMDKitty

      January 11, 2012 at 6:55 pm

      Having luggage or a child still doesn’t mean you get to use the handicap stall. Even if you need the space. Even if you’re Jabba the Hutt. It’s labelled with the wheelchair symbol for a reason.

      /in a wheelchair

    • Erin W

      January 11, 2012 at 7:08 pm

      I respect your position, WMDKitty, but I don’t agree with it. I never use the handicap stall anymore (unless it’s the only one open at the moment), but I did all the time when I was a student. I was carrying a backpack and a computer bag with me everywhere. Add a winter coat–and I’m not a small girl to begin with–and I have to squeeze into one of those regular stalls that’s 3 feet wide? That gets my claustrophobia a-ragin’.

      Anyway, it’s not like I’m camping out in there. We all have to wait sometimes. I think you are capable of allowing me to use your stall for 3 minutes. I do NOT park in handicap spaces (even if I’m “just running in”) and I’m happy to hold a door for you if you need it. But I’m not going to subject myself to 3 minutes in a torture chamber on a matter of principle.

    • WMDKitty

      January 11, 2012 at 7:38 pm

      @Erin W. — The regular stalls need to be larger. Not by much, another foot in width.

      But there’s only one catch: larger stalls == fewer toilets == longer lines.

      I sympathise with the “I have a ton of crap” position, I really do, being a student generally means lugging around a shit-ton of stuff. I’m currently doing it myself. But somehow every other student I’ve seen in the loo has managed to use a regular toilet stall, even while wrangling a book-bag, computer case, AND a giant purse. All at once.

      (No, our regular stalls aren’t any more roomy than those elsewhere.)

    • Pix

      January 11, 2012 at 8:23 pm

      @WMDKitty

      I understand what you’re saying. However, your statement is clearly not the blanket truth since some of the large stalls have the bathroom’s only changing table in them.

      The handicap symbol on the door means ‘handicapped accessible,’ not ‘people in wheelchairs only.’ It is not the same as a parking space, which is legally reserved.

      I see it as a matter of courtesy. And if I saw someone with luggage (I’m not talking a bookbag they can hang on the door) or a stroller using it when no one in a wheelchair is around, I personally would not see that as discourteous since their only other option would be to leave their belongings out in the public area where anyone could take them while the person sits vulnerably with their pants around their ankles.

      If I saw someone in a wheelchair, I’d expect that person to be given the stall before anyone else. However, I would not find it unreasonable if someone who cannot fit in another stall uses it.

  19. Shannon

    January 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    I got a passive-agrresive, through the bathroom stall door talking to by a woman. She went on and on about how inconsiderate it was for normal people to use the handicap stall. So I finished up my business, grabbed my crutches and crutched my way out of the stall. I see this woman and a 6 year old girl standing there (when all the other stalls were open), and i was like “normal people can’t use this,” and I stood there until she dragged the girl into one of the regular sized stall. She got to eat crow and I got a good giggle for my day.

    for the record, try to avoid being on crutches between November and the end of January if you can. It sucks beyond imagining.

    • WMDKitty

      January 11, 2012 at 6:53 pm

      HAHAHA, well played!

    • DD

      January 11, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      Brilliant. And why would she just assume you were a person who didn’t need the stall if she could not see you? Did she peek through the door slit or something? I commend your shaming of her. Maybe her child learned something from you that she should have learned from her own mother.

    • eileenmaeray

      January 11, 2012 at 10:17 pm

      good for you. As I say in my story above, where I pretend to be someone named hootiehoo for funzies, I’ve lost an organ and actually am handicapped although it is not readily apparent. For reasons I will not go into, I needed the handicapped stall for most of the 8 months I was having all my surgeries, and I got crap from a few people who though I was just a jerk. It was delightful. I would have liked to pull up my shirt for them.

    • aliceblue

      January 11, 2012 at 10:25 pm

      I’m puzzled. When I was 6 I was in first grade went to the bathroom without help as I expect most people did. Perhaps if precious wipe her own ass this woman wouldn’t have needed a stall for two?

    • tijde

      January 12, 2012 at 12:52 am

      Alice, it’s because SUMMUN MIGHT STEEEEL MAH BABY!

    • pseudocryptic

      January 13, 2012 at 3:17 am

      Oh man, I think I love you…

  20. Lauren

    January 11, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    I grew up in England where, at least when I was a kid, pregnancy and small children did not give you entitlement to anything. No mother and baby parking spaces. My mom didn’t even have a car, but we went everywhere on the bus or train to see other cities. She usually carried us or took a fold up stroller and never complained. I never had a potty, she would just hold me over the toilet, and when we went out places she didn’t expect to use the handicapped stall. If the stall was too small she just left the door open while she helped me pee and then I stood in the stall while she closed the door and went. Easy done! I feel north American mothers are WAY too entitled sometimes. A baby is a gift, not a disability!

    • Avodah

      January 11, 2012 at 5:24 pm

      I agree! If it is such a terrible burden on your and your life, maybe reconsidering having more kids (or having them in the first place)?

  21. CandySplitz

    January 11, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    *pfft* EVERYONE in Europe (Paris) pushes ahead in queues, preggers or not. The concept of waiting politely in line is a foreign concept there, just an observation from my travels anyway.
    I can see where there is an issue where you have multiple squogs on leashes and a stroller to haul around, hence using the bigger cubicle. However I think this is more of an attitude in our society (I’m from Australia, the US is very similar) that pregnant women as not catered as much as in Europe. Why not have a large cubicle for disabilities and another with a change table?
    Unfortunately its all about the bottom dollar, some reasonable solutions cost coin.

    • b3v

      January 11, 2012 at 7:11 pm

      Exactly! we have those “big one with the change table” in most places I’ve been to in Canada (5 provinces), and I have yet to see people argue over the disabled’s.

    • Stevo

      January 12, 2012 at 5:04 am

      Im from England and waiting in line is something we do extremely well thank you! Yes I am bored…

    • Martine

      January 18, 2012 at 7:37 am

      That’s total bullshit. Have you even been to Paris? People are very good at queueing, and get very snippy with people who try to cut.

  22. Reality

    January 11, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    WMDKitty has some serious problems. She harassed a woman who miscarried and kept saying that “that’s what you get for trying to have BABBIES.” There was another time when a single mom of a 2 year old was saying that she had to give her cat to a shelter because she could just not afford to keep it anymore. WMDKitty started saying that the woman’s 2 year old should be put down instead of the cat and that she would “find out everything about her and make her life hell” for giving the cat away and she deserved to die for “choosing YUR PRESHUS CROTCHLET over an innocent animal.” I can give a million more examples. And the people who haven’t banned her yet (like the STFU blog) only are forcing themselves to feel bad for her because she is an obese recluse in a wheelchair.

    • Miss Norris

      January 11, 2012 at 6:32 pm

      What the hell does that have to do with this post?! And just BTW, calling another person “an obese recluse in a wheelchair” isn’t particularly classy either.

    • WMDKitty

      January 11, 2012 at 6:52 pm

      At least I don’t internet-stalk people and tell lies about them.

      Also, what does it say about YOU that you’re posting lies about me? (BTW, that IS slander, and I COULD sue you. If I were anywhere near as “mean” as you make me out to be, I would not warn you of the possibility, and I WOULD be slapping you with a lawsuit.)

      Huh. And I’m the “pathetic” one?

      Get a fucking hobby, kthxbai.

    • MR DERP

      January 11, 2012 at 7:32 pm

      I don’t think you can sue people for being mean over the internet or making fun of you for being a fat cripple LOL

    • WMDKitty

      January 11, 2012 at 7:40 pm

      For being mean? Maybe not.

      But for demonstrably LYING, yes.

    • Miss Norris

      January 11, 2012 at 7:42 pm

      @WMDKitty — I feel the need to mention that I literally cried and felt sick to my stomach when reading “Reality”-s post, since while I don’t always agree with your comments I definitely don’t believe you’ve ever said anything like that. S/he is definitely the one who is pathetic. Not to mention sickening and creepy.

    • Miss Norris

      January 11, 2012 at 7:45 pm

      And MR DERP, go fuck yourself you inconsiderate jerkface.

    • LaurenK

      January 11, 2012 at 7:47 pm

      Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, this confused me too. How is this related to this post?? I also agree with @Miss Norris. Insulting someone who YOU say is rude is really like calling the kettle black.

    • WMDKitty

      January 11, 2012 at 7:57 pm

      Thanks, Miss Norris.

      At this point I’m more baffled than insulted.

      I just don’t get why people are so damn mean.

      I’m nowhere near perfect on that front, myself, and I’m stubborn (which doesn’t help). I get upset sometimes. Other people get upset sometimes at things I’ve said. Okay, fine, it happens.

      But holy fuck, to go following someone around the ‘tubes and be all “this person is a super-meanie-head and blah blah blah”? What a waste of energy!

      I’m sure my “fan(s)” have better things to be doing with their time and energy than, well, this. As for me, I don’t think I’ll waste any more energy on it — not worth the time. Heh, the second the “mean-kitty” shit started on the other thread, I just stopped responding. There was a time not too long ago I’d have gone off on a rampage over that kind of thing. (Look, Ma! I’m growing up!)

      I just don’t have a fuck to give about that particular POB. If they wanna be all RAWR ATTACK, I don’t care. The only lives they’re gonna ruin are their own, because bitterness and hatred only bring you more bitterness and hatred. I refuse to participate anymore.

    • Miss Norris

      January 11, 2012 at 8:14 pm

      @WMDKitty — I agree with you 100%. I couldn’t believe that other thread either, but this one was just so crazy-train that I had to comment on it.

      Sure, you can be a bit crude sometimes, but I’ve never seen a comment by you that has made me want to stalk you with this crazy shit (and I’ve read every single post on the STFU, Parents-blog so I’ve seen your comments A LOT). I’m in fact usually quite amused by your vocabulary 🙂

      It’s great if you don’t care about the haters, but I’m sending you internet-hugs anyway just to be sure.

    • Kit

      January 11, 2012 at 8:20 pm

      Its funny how you pretend that all of those stories about you are made up, when MULTIPLE PEOPLE have called you out MULTIPLE TIMES on different blogs! The sad thing is I actually really like STFU Parents and have been reading B’s blog for about 6 months now. I noticed that in the comments section, WMDKitty will usually make some ridiculously nutty or rude remark, and no one calls her out because they either feel bad for her or she is on their so much that she is a “regular.” One of the most memorable being when she flipped out on everyone because she kept saying that people have NO RIGHT to comment on their pregnant friends Facebook status giving them suggestions. Another time a girl said “a guy coming on your face doesn’t always mean hes abusive” and WMDKitty flipped out and said “that demeans EVERY ABUSED PERSON, shut the FUCK up.”

    • eileenmaeray

      January 11, 2012 at 10:13 pm

      I’m not going to go into whether I think WMDkitty is ‘mean’ or not. My point is, in this case, she hadn’t said jack shit that was rude or inappropriate and ole’ Craig up there just starts the shitty name calling for no reason. I have gotten inordinately sick of all the shitty attitudes in the comment section of STFU, Parents. It’s bringing the whole thing down. So, why don’t we just not do this crap to begin with. And if someone does, I’m going to tell them what an ass I find them to be. Craig, you’re an ass…see above where I elaborate and stop creating these shit storms, thanks so much.

    • Miss Norris

      January 12, 2012 at 12:17 pm

      Yo, Kit. Did you even read Reality’s comment? The examples you’re giving, which if I recall it right have a grain of truth in them but are terribly out of context, are not halfway as bad as the bullshit Reality is claiming WMDKitty has said. You’re grasping at straws here, honey. Besides, what you said about the STFUP commenters is quite untrue. If someone makes a mean-spirited comment at STFUP, they will be called out, both by other commenters and by B herself. This goes for WMDKitty as well as everyone else, and I’ll be happy to redirect you to a thread where B and WMDKitty have a lenghty discussion over a comment that B found inappropriate. So how about you shove it, STFU and learn the difference between “their” and “there”.

    • Mel

      January 13, 2012 at 9:19 pm

      Lol.. If you want to be petty and start pointing out misspelled words, police your OWN spelling first, Miss Norris. I believe the word you were looking for was “lengthy,” not “lenghty.”

    • Lauren

      January 14, 2012 at 9:47 am

      yeah and Chuck Norris jokes were cool 6 years ago. but I guess people who never get off the internet and go outside wouldn’t know that. let me guess, you guys sit on your asses all day and then complain about how “society” is causing you to be overweight? LMAO. read WMDKitty’s comments on the ageism article about how its wrong for anyone to have “babbies” because everyone should be adopting instead.

    • Miss Norris

      January 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm

      Mel: Point well taken. I was angry and didn’t spell check. My bad. The their/there thing was not the main point of my comment, but I will own it.

      Lauren: 1. What the hell is a “Chuck Norris joke”?
      2. You do not know anything about my internet habit or how much time I spend outdoors.
      3. Nor do you know anything about how much I “sit on my ass”
      4. I am not overweight, and even if I was I wouldn’t blame it on “society”.
      5.PMGO
      6. I have read WMDKitty’s comments on the ageism article multiple times. I consider them to be a bit exaggerated, but I also see the point she’s trying to make. Those comments are not anywhere near as bad as the ones Reality claims she has made.
      7. So what was your point again?

  23. foximaiden91

    January 11, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    I sat here for 30 seconds trying to “like” Léo’s comment…

    • Kristina

      May 19, 2012 at 7:46 pm

      I’m totally with you on that one.

  24. WMDKitty

    January 11, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    I’ve said this before, I’ll repeat it again.

    PREGNANCY AND MOTHERHOOD ARE NOT DISABILITIES. THERE ARE THINGS YOU JUST AREN’T ENTITLED TO, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO:

    *Special parking spaces with extra room.
    *The handicap bathroom stall.
    *Preferred seating of ANY kind in ANY venue
    *Cutting in line. For ANYTHING.

    Now, get outta my parking space, and keep your nasty biohazardous carpet-creepers outta the only damn stall I can actually use.

    Thank you! ^_^

    • Craig

      January 11, 2012 at 7:30 pm

      i saw your pic wtf is wrong with your face lmao lardo

    • WMDKitty

      January 11, 2012 at 7:46 pm

      I may be overweight, but weight can be lost.

      Unfortunately for you, Craig, stupid is forever.

    • Miss Norris

      January 11, 2012 at 8:19 pm

      Oh Yay, another super classy person who thinks he’s a big shot for bullying someone over the internet. Craig, you’re a douche.

    • Pix

      January 11, 2012 at 8:50 pm

      I second Miss Norris. A douche indeed.

    • eileenmaeray

      January 11, 2012 at 10:04 pm

      Yo Craig, WTF is wrong with you?? What a completely rude thing to say for absolutely no reason. What do you do? Go around pointing out everyone else’s every flaw so no one has time to notice that you’re a total loser? Newsflash: it’s too obvious to miss.

    • Non-mom

      January 12, 2012 at 9:56 am

      I love you WMDKitty – on here and on STFU, Parents comments!

      STFU, Craig.

    • JMB

      January 12, 2012 at 7:43 pm

      I disagree with the preferred seating one.

      Even those with healthy pregnancies get sore backs from standing too long. We’re carrying a great amount of weight in front by that point.

      The bus driver used to ask people in the ‘priority seating’ area to get up for me when I was 8 or 9 months pregnant. I wasn’t thinking myself to be royalty, but a civil society recognizes when someone is having a harder time. The attitude of “you chose it, so you can stand all the way home” or “why should I give my seat to you” smacks of someone who wasn’t taught empathy.
      In keeping with the arguments here, “you chose the priority seat, so if the bus driver makes you get up for someone who needs it, tough noogies for you.”

      Now that I’m no longer pregnant, I no longer expect it.

      That’s one thing I don’t like about STFU Parents. The comments go beyond eye-rolling at the extremes to hostility towards anyone with a kid.

    • Lizzy

      January 12, 2012 at 8:27 pm

      That’s the sad thing, JMB. People like WMDKitty are not only tolerated, but ENCOURAGED to make death threats against children and their parents on STFU Parents. Most of the parents featured on STFU Parents are ridiculous and stupid, but when you read the comments section, half the time WMDKitty makes some insane and nasty comment and you know everyone there is thinking, “oh God, she’s doing it again, lets just not reply and ignore the crazy.” Its ironic how some of the commenters complain about submissions where the Mombies friends are agreeing with her, yet the STFU commenters do the same thing with WMDKitty. And her stuff on STFU Parents isn’t even the worst – she has been called out multiple times about telling a woman who miscarried that it was her fault for procreating.

    • WMDKitty

      January 12, 2012 at 8:37 pm

      I’m assuming you have better things to do with your time and energy than continually rabbit on about teh “mean kitty” and how “cruel” and “evil” I am.

      I may have issues, but you, my dear, have a full subscription.

    • Lauren

      January 12, 2012 at 8:52 pm

      The one STFUParents comment section I remember reading was where WMDKitty started randomly screaming about how her ex-boyfriend used to pee on her in the shower. LOL.

    • WMDKitty

      January 12, 2012 at 9:01 pm

      @Lauren — Yeah, because abuse is SO funny, LOL. I sincerely hope you never have to experience it firsthand.

    • Miss Norris

      January 13, 2012 at 9:19 am

      JMB, your comment was very reasonable, so I’m not directing this at you.

      But YOU, Lizzy: NO ONE is encouraging death threats at STFUP. On the contrary, all threats of violence in the comment section is frowned upon, so I don’t know what page you’ve been frequenting but you’re wrong. And far from all the commenters agree with WMDKitty. (And your statement is totally illogical. First you say that no one replies to WMDKitty’s comments and then you say all commenters agree with her.) And I have certainly not seen WMDKitty make any death threats anyway.

      And Lauren, what the fuck is wrong with you? How the hell can you think that’s funny? Do you have a pee fetish and expect everyone to share it? Good grief.

    • Canaduck

      January 13, 2012 at 8:39 pm

      Jesus Craig is an asshole.

  25. DD

    January 11, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    Here in Kansas City I have never seen an expectant mothers’ parking spot. Does that mean we are selfish bastards or totally egalitarian?

  26. susan

    January 11, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    Who are these people who think that pregnancy gives you these special rights? I was recently pregnant and, thankfully, had a very easy pregnancy. Every time I saw one of those pregnant women parking spaces, I parked somewhere else and thought “let’s leave that for the pregnant mom having a rough pregnancy who is trying to take her other kids to the grocery store. I don’t need it”.

    • Hibbie

      January 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

      You’ve got a great attitude, Susan. Reading about your kindness is a nice antidote after reading the submissions in this column!

    • hootiehoo

      January 11, 2012 at 10:01 pm

      Exactly. I did the same for the first super easy 7 months of my pregnancy. Because I didn’t NEED to park close. I could walk, I could work waiting tables, I could carry and do everything I’d done before. I didn’t know what the fuss was about. That said, I do think those spaces are needed….I got heinously, horribly ill during the last couple months of my pregnancy….it ended up being 2.5 years of lying inert in pain on my couch between stays in the hospital, and it cost me an organ that I dearly miss. And those last two months were so painful that I literally couldn’t be bothered to stand up for 5 minutes to shower. There are women really going through things like that, they do sometimes have no choice but to go purchase things, and it takes a while to get classified as disabled for a handicapped parking spot….not to mention it’s one more thing to do when you’re in intense pain, one more doctor’s visit, one more dmv trip, etc. So, it’s kind of nice to see places that have them. I appreciated it when I suddenly actually needed it. The real problem is self-righteous pregnant assholes who don’t know the difference between a need and a desire for close parking.

    • Annie

      January 11, 2012 at 11:21 pm

      I’m pregnant right now, and I have the same attitude. I keep thinking, maybe when I’m further along I’ll use it…. but “further along” keeps on coming and I have yet to feel the need for it!

    • tijde

      January 12, 2012 at 12:47 am

      You bring up a good point, hootiehoo. While I wouldn’t begrudge you that courtesy spot–and I’m glad you had it when you needed it–this part of your post, minus the pregnancy, could apply to a lot of people:

      “I literally couldn’t be bothered to stand up for 5 minutes to shower. There are women really going through things like that, they do sometimes have no choice but to go purchase things, and it takes a while to get classified as disabled for a handicapped parking spot….not to mention it’s one more thing to do when you’re in intense pain, one more doctor’s visit, one more dmv trip, etc.”

      So many injured, ill, or newly-disabled people live like this for much longer than a few months. I myself went through it for five years. So where do we draw the line? Do those people deserve any less than someone in a very similar situation, just because they aren’t pregnant?

      You certainly seem to have the right attitude about this, so I hope you understand that I’m not picking on you. Like I said, I take no issue with you using the space–you were exactly the kind of person it was intended for. I’m just questioning why others don’t get the same courtesies from those who provide them. The answer boils down to money. Stork Parking is provided as a marketing gimmick, to appeal to a specific demographic–families, with family-sized budgets. And you know what? I’m fine with that, as long as people realize what’s really going on, and don’t start expecting to be treated that way everywhere. Just another angle to consider.

  27. notorious

    January 11, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    I hate that lady ranting about the metro center. If I had to take a baby on the bus *alone* (sob! Im alone you guys. Did you get that? I was by myself)
    I certainly would NOT bring a stroller, that is a terrible idea that creates more work than it’s worth. Put that baby in a carrier and throw a few diapers and wipes in your purse. An Ergo is real easy to get a baby in and out of once you’ve practiced a bit. That lady needs to get over herself.

    • RC

      January 12, 2012 at 10:35 am

      IKR!? As soon as she tries to defend her callous and entitled comments with “but I’m allll aloooooone!” I thought “yeah, what a shocker! Who wouldn’t some o’ that high-maintenance drama?” ::eye roll::

    • Adolia

      June 3, 2012 at 12:14 pm

      Sorry for the lateness, but thanks. I’m not going to have children anytime soon, but I’ve seen enough of the unnecessarily large strollers that cause more problems than they’re worth when used in public and I know I don’t want one for bus rides and crowded places. Apart from a smaller stroller that you could fold up, I didn’t know how else to transport a baby without taking the disabled seat- so thanks for mentioning a carrier. It’s a great idea.

  28. Paula

    January 11, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    That email you got is just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve had a jerk of a mother yell at me for using the disabled stall – and I’m disabled. She said with my canes, I could fit into the normal stall but she with her stroller couldn’t. I’m glad my stomach was upset – from my massive number of required medications for my lifelong chronic pain disorder – and she had to wait a while for the stall.

    • Nancy

      January 12, 2012 at 8:07 am

      :O That is unbelievable!!

    • STFU Parents

      January 12, 2012 at 11:15 am

      That’s awful. What a terrible thing to say.

    • Ishihara Yumi

      February 10, 2014 at 1:15 am

      Wow what a disgusting human being.

  29. Brooke

    January 11, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    The France thing may be true… France is having a major population drop and they are doing all the can to encourage procreation, including offering free personal trainers post-partum. Women of the US, if you want this treatment, you will have to convince about 70% of the rest of the childbearing women to stay on the Pill.

  30. weaverssong

    January 11, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    Not all disabilities are visable. I can’t get off the toilet with out the bars in the handicapped stall. I’ve been accosted by these entitled mommies and when informed that I am disabled, that I need the bars, I’ve been told “then get someone to help you off or stay home.” No – but I will continue using the handicapped stalls and I will start taking my own sweet time about it.
    Being pregnant and/or being a parent is not a disability and I am sick of the attitudes shown by so many parents. Get over yourselves already!

  31. Patricia

    January 12, 2012 at 5:20 am

    As far as I’m concerned, if you’re not disabled and you use the handicapped facilities, you’re plain rude and that’s enough to annoy.

    As for special treatment for having a kid, give me a break. There’s courtesy and manners – i.e when I didn’t have a kid, I always offered my seat to a woman carrying a child/stroller/heavily pregnant. But I got – and still get – furious when entitled mothers seemed to believe that having a child suddenly made them royalty.

    So yeah, it sucks when I’m out with my son and I have to pee and oh dear lord those stalls are tiny. But hey, I signed up for it and let’s be honest, it is not the end of the world. Takes you what, 30 seconds to pee? So whatever. I have no complaints about how people behave when I’m out with my son, I take him everywhere and people are always nothing but courteous and accomodating. Seriously entitled mommies, STFU.

    • nobabyzone

      January 12, 2012 at 4:19 pm

      I disagree that its rude to use a handicapped stall, especially when there is not a lot of people around, I see nothing wrong with it. They are also usually the stalls that are fully stocked as well as clean. So I have no quandaries using them.

      It would only be rude if someone who actually needed them came in. Like riding the subway or the bus, there are seats that can be folded up for wheel chairs and are to be given up if a disabled person came on board, but you are not going to not sit there if no one else is using it.

    • Kelly

      January 12, 2012 at 6:26 pm

      I disagree with this. I don’t have an actual disability, however I do have severe claustrophobia, and when I have to use a regular stall, I end up in a full blown panic attack. I will let anyone handicapped use the stall first, but I refuse to use a different one just because I’m not actually disabled.

    • Leigha

      January 21, 2012 at 9:41 pm

      I was taught as a child that you shouldn’t use the handicapped stall unless it’s the only one open. If every other stall is occupied, there’s no real reason for you to wait when there is, in fact, a stall open. What happens if a handicapped person comes in? They have to wait, sure. But uh…they’d still have to wait even if they weren’t, because all the stalls would be full. So what difference does it make?

      In some places (like certain restaurants), there are precisely two stalls, one of which is handicapped. The odds of the handicapped one being the only unoccupied, working, clean, toilet paper-having stall are generally pretty high.

      Also, I would not be at all surprised if the stalls in some places were too small for a lot of people to use comfortably. I’m a rather petite person and I’ve had times when it was tough for me to open the door (inward, of course) and get out. Anyone who was at all on the bigger side would have had to practically stand on the toilet first. That seems like a valid reason to use the handicapped stall to me

    • Zoe Stevens

      January 29, 2013 at 4:11 pm

      I disagree. The handicapped stall is a bathroom like all the others, and it’s there to accommodate people with disabilities but not exclusively people with disabilities. Unless the person’s disability makes them incapable of holding their bladder, they are as equipped as the rest of us to wait in line for their turn. The larger stall is just there so that when it IS their turn, they have enough room to move about. That’s why you get ticketed for parking in a handicap stop (if you are not handicapped), but not for using the handicap stall. Of course, it is the polite thing to do to offer your turn to a handicapped person in line when the handicapped stall becomes available.

  32. 1st-Time Mommy

    January 12, 2012 at 8:13 am

    I’m a mom. And, shortly after my son was born, I began treatment for tumors and a chronic pain disorder (even had to be on a cane for awhile). So, “disability” double-whammy.

    But you know what? When I had to take my baby somewhere with me, I planned ahead and didn’t expect special treatment. I also basically never used a stroller because they’re huge and clunky and get in the way of everything, and I felt like it was rude to be taking up so much space around other people.

    I even :gasp: managed to use the regular stall! Amazing!

    Entitled mommies piss me right off.

    • Rachel

      January 20, 2012 at 6:51 pm

      I wish all parents were like you.

  33. goddess

    January 12, 2012 at 8:52 am

    Handicapped bathroom stalls are not solely reserved for handicapped people (or any else), rather a business is required to have an ADA compliant restroom facility for handicapped people to use.

    • RCIAG

      January 12, 2012 at 10:11 pm

      Exactly.

      It’s not like it’s illegal for a non-handicapped person to use a handicapped stall. That stall is there because it’s required by law.

      Once again, it’s that “you must appear outwardly & obviously handicapped or you’re not allowed to park there or use that stall” thing that gets me.

      How does anyone know that the person using that stall doesn’t have a colostomy bag & they need the space & time to empty or change it? Maybe they’re changing their adult diaper, maybe they’re changing their pad or tampon (seriously ever try to do that in some stalls, it’s almost impossible in some of the teenier ones).

      You don’t know why they went in there or why they stayed as long as they did. They may or may not have a legit reason & you won’t ever know because you aren’t in there wit them & if you are you’ve got other issues.

      So next time someone who appears not to have an outward & obvious handicap comes out of a handicapped stall, get out of the way, let them pass & then go in & move on.

  34. Justme

    January 12, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Okay. I totally get the “disabled” comments and I agree that pregnancy is not a disability. In fact….if we could get over the mentality of “I’m pregnant so I’m going to sit on my butt for nine months and eat Cheetos” then maybe our country might be a little healthier.

    But that’s neither here nor there.

    What about the places that have “Family Restrooms?” Up until I had a child I never utilized one of those but now that when I am in public and I have to change the diaper of a spazoid one year old AND use the restroom myself….those things are golden. How do we feel about “non” families using those bathrooms? I must admit that I was that annoyed mama one day when I was waiting for that bathroom to open up so I could take care of myself and my baby at the same time. When the door finally opened, a single man that worked for the location I was at came out. I was that mother holding the baby that glared at him. BUT….I didn’t rant about it on Facebook.

    • weaverssong

      January 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

      Bathrooms are bathrooms and if there was an issue with the men’s room making it unusable you, as a woman, would not necessarily know that . Honestly I’ve seen daddies bring their daughters into the woman’s room – so I am not going to get too upset over someone using the family one – especially since the “family” usually double as the handicapped bathroom in my area.
      Honestly – I don’t think that unless we know the person well enough to know what the issue is that we should be judging why they are in a particular stall/bathroom. The whole issue would be solved if places would make larger more accessible bathrooms to begin with. I think A lot of the comments here boil down to the idea that everyone should be treated the same. Not special privileges for some, while the rest are treated as second class.
      This post covers much more than just bathroom access as it starts with someone wanting ADA coverage for pregnancy and people with kids ( stroller vs wheelchair seating) not getting “perks” that disabled folks need.
      The entitlement that is shown on the facebook posts is overwhelming, really, and what started as trying to give parents a bit of extra help – parking spots and access to extra big stalls – is now being viewed as some sort of “right” to better treatment. If this trend of entitlement continues – I can see more problems in the future and a society that is much less tolerant of any need…..and for me that is the real danger in all of this, but then, I’ll admit to being a worrywort.

    • Laura

      January 12, 2012 at 4:55 pm

      If a child is too young to use the restroom by themselves, then the dad should take her to the men’s restroom. Grown men do not belong in a women’s restroom. Same with women who bring their 10,12 yr old boys in the women’s bathroom with them. By that age they should be able to go into a restroom by themselves. Yes, its different if the boys are disabled, but sometimes its just helicopter parents who can’t leave their child’s side for one second.

    • pm

      January 12, 2012 at 10:25 pm

      He worked there? Well, I don’t know what kind of establishment it was, but as a server, I get REALLY annoyed when a mommy and her offspring won’t offer to let me cut in line (my restaurant has one bathroom). I work an eight hour shift with no breaks, and when I have to pee, I have to wait until I have the chance (meaning no food to be run, no tables who need their order taken, etc.) This can sometimes take an hour or more. And then I don’t have time to stand in line behind customers, especially a mother and child who are going to spend 10 minutes in there. And if I did take the time to stand in line, you can bet I’d get complaints that it took an extra five minutes for precious childs’ pancake to come out. So maybe that was his thinking? This pretty much works with any customer service position. Or possibly he had some sort of intestinal problem (like, an actual disease?) and couldn’t wait? This is the problem STFU parents discusses… parents who’d rather glare and think they’re special than accept that there might be unseen reasons for someone to “make your life harder.”

    • mustelid

      January 13, 2012 at 9:25 am

      “Family restrooms” (aka unisex restrooms) are sometimes utilized by transgender people to avoid the often fraught situation of using a public restroom. People who are using the “wrong” bathroom as decided by other people are at a very real risk for violence. Using a unisex bathroom can mitigate that risk.

      I’m not saying that was the case in this guy’s case, but the next time you want to get irritated that a single person is in the family bathroom, consider that they might just be worried about whether they are “passing” that day and they don’t want to get the shit beat out of them.

      (Google Chrissy Lee Polis for a recent example.)

    • Justme

      January 13, 2012 at 11:43 am

      It was at a large location with several bathrooms available. Not just stalls….but different bathrooms located around the location. Personally I don’t use the family restrooms when I’m alone because I know that when you have your children with you it is easier to use one big room than a tight stall.

    • Leigha

      January 21, 2012 at 9:32 pm

      Laura–To be honest, I would FAR rather a father with a young daughter used the women’s restroom than the men’s. Men’s restrooms have urinals, and I don’t particularly fancy the idea of my (hypothetical) 3 year old daughter walking past grown men using urinals to get to a stall when, really, what could possibly happen from a man going into the women’s restroom? No one is ever visibly naked or exposed outside of the stalls (or at least, they definitely shouldn’t be), so the man will not see anything he shouldn’t. A girl in the men’s restroom very well might.

  35. Ash

    January 12, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Holy shit snacks!! Stephanie’s friends are kinda AWESOME. Gold stars for those people!!

    • Doo.be.doo

      January 12, 2012 at 8:40 pm

      Yep, I think Stephanie was not pleased when, instead of the fawning and yeasaying she expected, her friends actually gave her a nice cold dose of reality. She’s probably un-friended them all now. Sigh.

    • RCIAG

      January 12, 2012 at 10:04 pm

      I KNOW RIGHT?!?!

      When I came here to read this I totally wasn’t expecting any of the commenters to the Facebook posts to actually call the posters on their shit. YET THEY DID & IT WAS ALL KINDS OF AWESOME!!

      It happens so seldom in STFULand, it was a refreshing change.

  36. Tiff

    January 12, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Just a quick observance on pregnant women getting disability status. I worry about the implications this could have for regular disabled people. If all those entiltemommies out there are granted the same status as disabled, methinks there will be no parking stalls, bathroom stalls, or anything left for actually disabled people to use. I am imaging people in wheelchairs waiting in lines behind 10 mommies to use the handicapped bathroom stalls and little old ladies in walkers having to walk across parking lots because of all the mommy vans parked in the handicapped parking stalls.

    • TheSquirrel

      January 15, 2012 at 8:27 pm

      I know, right? Come on, ladies, woman up and quit yer bitchin!

    • LawGeekNYC

      April 5, 2013 at 9:01 pm

      I hadn’t thought of that. It’s a very good point.

  37. Laura

    January 12, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    What I hate most is those people who wait for a handicap stall because they bring their shopping cart into the bathrooms with them! I always find that gross! If you have to go so bad that you can’t wait, please leave your cart with customer service to watch over. You do not need to be bringing that into a stall with you, and contaminate it with your germs! People are going to be using that cart after you.

    • Canaduck

      January 13, 2012 at 8:28 pm

      Holy crap, people do that??

  38. Kelly

    January 12, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    Here’s the thing… I have 5 kids, and at some point during each pregnancy (usually the last 4-6 weeks), I thought about how nice it would be if I could park in handicapped spaces. I thought about how rude it is for a man to park in the expectant mothers spot at the hospital, where the parking lot is overflowing with cars and it’s incredibly hard to find a parking spot that isn’t a mile from the door…. however I didn’t complain openly, just grumbled a bit then went on my way. Now, I don’t actually think that pregnant women should get handicapped parking or be covered as temporarily disabled. Most jobs will accommodate a pregnant associate. The large company that I worked for provided me with chairs when they weren’t allowed, bottles of water or other drinks when they weren’t allowed, and snacks when those weren’t allowed. They also tried to keep me in an area close to a bathroom. I didn’t ask for any of these things, other than the water. Now, I do feel that pregnant women who are put on doctor ordered bed rest because of a problem with pregnancy (such as pre-eclampsia or something similar) should be allowed to have a temporary parking pass, since those women aren’t supposed to be walking around or they risk their health and the health of their babies. Though the pregnancy was wanted and asked for, the complications were not. I think that should be on a case by case basis, and those allowed to walk around for up to 4 hours a day (like my friend), don’t necessarily need a pass. I don’t know how much sense that makes, lol!

  39. Karen

    January 12, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    I have MS. I don’t “look” disabled, and some days are worse than others. I use the large stall on bad days because I need the bars to get up and down. When I get a mom attempting to tell me off, I let them know exactly what MS is. That usually shuts them up. Just because you don’t think someone is disabled doesn’t mean they aren’t.

    • Mistie

      January 14, 2012 at 7:26 pm

      Thank you Karen! My mom has nerve damage from a virus, which first manifests itself like MS. I’ve had people be rude to her when she needed to use the handicapped stall because she doesn’t look ill, but there are times when she can’t stand up without help. Those days, she needs the handicapped stall.

      As a mom, I’ve used plenty of the small bathroom stalls with my kid. It’s not as easy as the larger stalls (and sometimes the handicapped stalls are the only ones with changing tables) but it’s not going to kill me or my kid to wait five minutes. Also, if it’s that big of a deal, there are usually more than one bathroom.

  40. JHab

    January 13, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Slow, emphatic, 80’s-movie-style applause to Stephanie’s friends. Bravo, amigos. Bravo.

    • Canaduck

      January 13, 2012 at 8:27 pm

      I know, that was amazing. What a dope!

    • TheSquirrel

      January 15, 2012 at 8:26 pm

      Stephanie’s lucky to have them.

  41. Sharky

    January 13, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Wow, hot topic!

    I get why parents with kids young enough that they can’t do their own seat-belts & women who are extremely and uncomfortably pregnant would prefer a parking spot closest to the store. Totally. It’s fine with me and I would never park in a spot labeled “stork parking” (ick, seriously) or Mom parking. And obviously, only a monster would begrudge a disabled person their handicapped parking spot.

    Here’s what I don’t get: every time I go to Target, or the grocery store, or really anywhere with a large parking lot, although there are plenty of visible parking spots toward the back of the lot, people clog up the driving lanes by idling until someone in a closer spot pulls out. Yes, sure, some of them may be injured or ill, and there’s no way to tell who those people are, and I don’t bother to try. But surely, most of these people are just plain LAZY. No wonder 75% of Americans are overweight or obese. You’d be doing your kid a much bigger favor by teaching him or her that walking twenty extra yards isn’t going to kill anyone — just watch out for the maniac drivers.

    • cjane

      January 16, 2012 at 12:38 pm

      That bugs the heck out of me too. Personally, I’d rather quickly choose a parking space further away instead of circling the parking lot several times and/or block passage by idling while waiting for someone pulling out of a closer spot.

  42. Steph

    January 14, 2012 at 2:10 am

    I had a shitty pregnancy and got basically laid off for being on bed rest. It sucked, but I lived. I wish I could have done something about it, but I live in a “right to work state” so they could technically do whatever they wanted and I was very sick so I didn’t care at that point. However, even sick, I never parked close to the entrance of any building because I didn’t want door dings. “Stork parking” (bleh) didn’t exist then and even if it had I wouldn’t have used it because I find it ridiculous. Exercise is good for you, pregnant or not, that extra 100 feet may be all the exercise you get all day if you have a shitty pregnancy, take the walk! I also never used a stroller. Hate the damn things, they’re a pain. I used a sling or carried my babies. I have been in restrooms by myself with my babies and I’ve held them on my lap while I went pee. You do what you gotta do, it’s ridiculous to expect the world to stop functioning when you walk in to a room because your pregnant or have a baby in tow. We are huge hockey fans, my son has played since he was 5 and my daughter was a newborn. They’ve both been to a gillion hockey games, youth games, CHL games, Tier III games, and NHL games. We’ve never taken a stupid stroller to a rink, never. Good thing that lady wasn’t on my friend’s list. We took a 4 and 5 year old to a game tonight actually, we didn’t expect or ask for anything special. Give me a damn break. I actually have a “disability” and am on oxygen and I still park and walk so I don’t get door dings and because it’s the only real exercise my doctor will allow right now so my ass is spreading and it pisses me off. I do dislike that most changing tables are in handicap stalls, not because I had to wait to change diapers, but because I always tried to rush to get out in case a truly handicapped person needed the stall. I guess it’s the difference between being a human being and a self entitled asshat. /shrug

  43. Amanda

    January 14, 2012 at 2:16 am

    How can anyone ( Stephanie ) be so cold hearted and cruel to equate provisions for handicapped people as “perks?” That is all kinds of mentally ill on her part.

    Having a bathroom stall or reserved seats for people who need them due to physical disabilities certainly is not a perk. It is a necessity.

    She just better pray that Karma does not bestow a handicap on her someday so she will be forced understand what it is like to function with a disability. Maybe only then will she realize there are people in the world who need a little help out of necessity and not privilege.

    Sad she has kids who will be subjected to this kind of selfish thinking.

    • cjane

      January 16, 2012 at 12:34 pm

      Yeah, that perk thing got me too. Really poor word choice.

    • Canaduck

      January 21, 2012 at 3:16 pm

      I agree with every single thing you said except for:

      “That is all kinds of mentally ill on her part.”

      That’s stigmatizing and uncalled for.

  44. YouAreAllFatAmericanTrailerTrash

    January 14, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    Wow what a stupid discussion you fat lard twinkie hogging asses are all having. Although- better for you guys to sit here and bitch than to procreate. God forbid. Do the world a favor and never have kids. Just complain on this blog and the world will be safe. Dont bother replying as I wont be back, my brain cells leak reading your comments about this stupid pathetic debate. Your mothers should have all swallowed you when you were semen.

    • self help

      January 19, 2012 at 5:39 pm

      And no, you don’t sound like white trash at all.

    • Miss Norris's Mom

      January 20, 2012 at 11:09 pm

      I remember being a semen, actually. I’m perty smart. and I remember exactly when my daughter was conceived. it was the most romantic conjugal visit ever…

  45. Anon

    January 15, 2012 at 3:52 am

    Having babies IS a lifestyle choice for humans. Nobody HAS to have a baby. The only people who say people don’t have a choice about getting pregnant and/or carrying the pregnancy to term in the US are people who don’t use their birth control correctly. If pregnancy is just a “natural” thing then it should require no special treatment and pregnant women should be treated just like everyone else.

  46. luca

    January 15, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    I agree and disagree with the notion of pregnancy as a disability. Even if life was grand for the first 2/3rds that end part can be hell. Hips are spreading, balance is off etc. That is a disability same as when I choose to go biking and fell and broke my leg. So in that sense a woman has very right to claim special status for that period just as I could with my broken leg.
    People who use the handicap stall just because do suck. the changing table is often in there, also you’ll gripe if we leave the stroller in the aisle outside etc. If you are claustrophobic that’s a disability, no problem there. If you are like the person at BWW and just use it because it’s there, that’s being a jerk.
    On the legal side, women are already protected by the FMLA so if someone is being a douche cause you are ‘with child’ report them. No need to get the ADA into the mix

  47. Miss Noris

    January 15, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    I JUST SHARTED

  48. Samantha

    January 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Ok I think stephanie is a perfect example for what I’m about to talk about me and my daughter go alone to ECHL hockey games regularly as we hold 2 season tickets one for me and one for her. She dose not require her own seat but I buy the one next to me because I do not expect to be treated any diffrent thAn anyone else. You see we have a baby bag and Katie needs room too because she won’t sit on my lap the entire time and if it’s a big game then I at least have a reserved second seat.

    As for the woman who thought it was funny to park in the family parking zone. I get it ok is was a childish action. I have leaving my kid in the car when I have to run in quickly anywhere and have waited fifteen minuets for a gas spot so I can run in pay for gas and come out so I can see my car the whole time and only leave the car running when it’s close to -15/-20 out. It worries me to do it yes but I don’t expect to be treated special just because I can procreate too.

    Having and keeping a baby is a choice.. Face it there is always adoption or abortion and it is still legal. It also comes with great responceabity. For the mothers and fathers. I admit my child was unexpected and I was young and stupid when I got pregnate but I have had time to pull my head out of my butt I have taken the steps to be able to enjoy my sex life and not have to worry about having another misguided trip in the world of unexpected parenthood. I am a good parent to my child and I do it all by myself. Her father sends hold support because I asked him to when she was two because I needed help but now that I’m on my feet I plan on sending some back or put it into savings we are working out the details.

    All in all if u give pregnate women rights they will just abuse them. Pregnate women and women with children are not treated badly here in America. Yes I wish we had the system in france where they have longer maternity leave because its better for both mom and baby tk be together longer in a less stressful enviorment better bonding and less post partium ect. but that’s it.
    I think if we pass rights for women with children/pregnate we will see more teen pregnancies and more welfare moms.
    Thanks

  49. WMDKitty

    January 17, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    I hope you all rot in hell, motherfuckers. Suck my clit! I have a yeast infection, it will be especially…bread like. AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

    • WMDKitty

      January 17, 2012 at 6:10 pm

      That wasn’t me.

    • Kitty

      January 17, 2012 at 6:50 pm

      Don’t me mad, Stephanie. Just admit you’re wrong and move it along.

    • WMDPussy

      January 17, 2012 at 7:27 pm

      Hemorrhoids (HEM-uh-roids), also called piles, are swollen and inflamed veins in your anus and lower rectum. Hemorrhoids may result from straining during bowel movements or from the increased pressure on these veins during pregnancy, among other causes. Hemorrhoids may be located inside the rectum (internal hemorrhoids), or they may develop under the skin around the anus (external hemorrhoids).

  50. Sky

    January 17, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    I rarely comment on these kinds of things, but I really have to speak up when it comes to disability.

    My Dad is permanently disabled, with a long shaft of metal in his neck the only thing keeping him from being in a wheelchair. He also has a slipped disk in his back, damaged knees from his accident that will randomly give way, a poorly set broken arm that causes him pain, a metal plate in his other arm from another broken bone… hell, he’s basically Iron Man.

    The thing is, my Dad suffers from this daily, and because of it all, he gets sick very easily, is unable to work, suffers from a lot of pain, and can just barely maintain a good quality of life.

    You know what these mothers did? They had sex and got pregnant.

    The fact that people even attempt to compare these two situations does not only disgust me, it makes me /angry/. It’s not just my Dad, either – one of my best friends suffers from MS. A close family friend has Parkinson’s. They will deal with this every single day for their rest of their lives, and may even die because of their disabilities.

    Again, what do these women ‘suffer’ from? Making the choice to have sex. Or even making the active choice to get pregnant.

    If I ever see some entitled cow trying to pull this anywhere near me, you can rest assured she will be deafened by the sound of my wrath.

  51. WMDKitty

    January 17, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    ILL SEE YOU ALL IN HELL

    • WMDKitty

      January 17, 2012 at 8:46 pm

      Stop. Just STOP.

      It isn’t funny, clever, or cool to go around impersonating other people, and I WILL track your ass down and pursue legal action if this continues.

    • WMDKitty

      January 17, 2012 at 8:47 pm

      Not. Funny.

      If this continues I WILL pursue legal action against both the individual posting these comments while impersonating me AND against Mommyish for not stopping this horrid form of harassment.

    • SiulaGrande

      January 17, 2012 at 8:54 pm

      Kitty, someone’s doing this on the latest STFU post. I gave B. the heads-up, but you should probably get in touch with her so she knows for sure it’s not you.

    • bob bobington

      January 18, 2012 at 9:01 am

      hahahahahaha

    • What a Moron

      January 18, 2012 at 10:43 am

      I guess WMDKitty supports SOPA since she thinks you should be able to “sue” entire websites for having “mean people” in their comments section…just think of a world where every website with a comments section could be shut down because one person cant handle some idiot trolls…maybe if you got off the internet and went outside once in a while, this wouldn’t be such a big deal…seriously WHO FUCKING CARES. lmao go call a lawyer, I bet you will try to sue him after you tell him your “case” and he laughs his ass off.

    • Miss Norris

      January 19, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      Can’t believe you’re barking at WMDKitty and not the troll. How very classy of you.

  52. Miss Norris

    January 18, 2012 at 7:14 am

    **big friggin eyeroll** Way to block the wrong person, Mommyish. You should’ve blocked the troll, not the REAL WMDKitty.

    • HAHA

      January 18, 2012 at 10:39 am

      LMAO THATS HILARIOUS SERVES WMDKITTY RIGHT

    • Kit

      January 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm

      watch out, I heard WMDKitty is planning on suing the internet for being mean! even though she was the one who told a woman that miscarried that she deserved it…

    • Miss Norris

      January 19, 2012 at 4:53 pm

      Hello again, Kit, my favourite person in the whole world. Say what you will about WMDKitty, but she’s tons better than you, you childish little blabbermouth.

  53. barg

    January 18, 2012 at 9:00 am

    wow. just wow.

  54. lisa

    January 18, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    Those stalls are **disability-accessible**, not **disability-exclusive**. It’s only rude to use them if you’re taking them away from an actual disabled person. Otherwise, they’re fair game.

    • Rachel

      January 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm

      fair game for who? If a disability stall is not exclusive for those who are disabled, then who gets to decide who they ARE for? Yourself?

      What if you chose to get knocked up and because of that you give yourself permission to use the disability stall, but then an ACTUAL disabled person comes along and has to wait while you finish your business. And because they can’t drive, they may need to catch public transport to their next destination, meaning that they need to use the restroom right away so they don’t miss their bus. Also, disabled people would probably take longer than the average person to use the restroom, so why would you even take the chance of inconveniencing their lives even more?

      In other words, leave the stall free for them. Leave your stroller outside the stall or go find a parents/family restroom. Disabled people have more inconveniences in their lives than you could imagine. If you are using the disabled stall and a disabled person comes along while you are in there – you ARE taking away from a disabled person.

      Doesn’t seem very fair to me.

    • Leigha7

      October 15, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      I was taught that unless it’s the only stall available, you don’t use the handicapped stall. However, I don’t think it’s a terrible horrible awful thing if you do use it. I couldn’t even begin to count how many times in my life I’ve had to stand in line waiting for a stall. If no one but disabled people ever used the handicapped stall (even when there was a line), it would kind of be unfair, since most disabled people would essentially never have to wait for a stall ever yet everyone else would have to do so fairly often (and for slightly longer).

      And how do you know they can’t drive? Many handicapped people can, even ones who can’t use their/don’t have legs. And even if they can’t, they may very well be with friends or family. It’s ridiculous to assume they’re any more likely to be in a hurry and need to catch the bus than a non-disabled person. What if a non-disabled person is poor and can’t afford a car so they have to take the bus everywhere? Do they get to use the handicapped stall if it’s the only one open so they can avoid missing the bus?

      Yes, disabilities suck. Yes, people with physical disabilities need and deserve accommodation. However, they do not have a right to be exempt from things like waiting in line. THAT’S special treatment, and I’ve always been under the impression that most disabled people don’t want to be treated differently any more than necessary.

    • babycarrot

      August 11, 2013 at 1:35 pm

      I don’t have kids and I’m not disabled, but I use the handicapped stalls all the time. They’re bigger and cleaner. It takes me about 15 seconds to pull my pants down, pee, and pull my pants back up. I seriously doubt I’m inconveniencing anyone.

  55. Wilwy

    January 26, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    There are no laws in Paris that allows pregnant women to cut a line. However, it’s a courtesy, to let them go before you, and not doing so is bad manners. But no laws. I think the only thing we have is special seats in buses. But it’s “pregnant women, disabled people and eldery”. Not just pregnant women.

  56. Tori

    February 8, 2012 at 7:39 am

    It looks like this woman can carry her child and her things by herself without a stroller, why can’t Stephanie?

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/01/21/article-0-0DA7621F00000578-672_472x423.jpg

    P.S. I also doubt she’s going somewhere as fun as a hockey game so Steph and mothers like you, STFU about your “problems”.

  57. Maber

    April 17, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    The story about the handicapped stall cracked me up!
    1) Bathroom stalls are not sacrisant, everybody wants the big stall and when the others are full they will get used regardless.
    2) The sign says handicapped, not “toddler stall” lol!

  58. lawyer

    June 18, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    Actually this article is incorrect. Pregnancy arguably was already covered as a disability under the ADA and courts found it met the definition. But since there was confusion, Congress specifically passed the Pregnancy Discrimination Act to make clear employers could not discriminate against you for being pregnant.

  59. Xantippi

    September 12, 2012 at 2:53 am

    People just don’t understand invisible disabilities. I have a brain tumor, it has caused complication requiring over 30 surgeries. There have been times my illness “shows” (e.g. I was in a wheelchair, on arm crutches, or had lost me hair,) and times I looked “normal”. It was INSANE how differently I was treated! I was just as sick, in just as much pain, but if I didn’t have an obvious disability, I was treated like dirt. I got screamed at for using the larger stall. I was mocked for “being bulimic” when I threw up (in the bathroom…). These women have no idea. A child is not a disability!

  60. Audrey

    December 16, 2012 at 10:48 pm

    You people make me sick. There is a reason why there is changing tables in handicapped stalls. what about parents with newborns? Should they put their newborns on the floor and change them there? Your parents must have done that to you because your filthy, fucking disgusting people. And its quite clear that a great number of you have either no children or pregnant women in your family, or at least not for a while. You people are sick really, you deserve the karma that comes for your bitterness.

    • babycarrot

      August 11, 2013 at 1:32 pm

      I always thought the reason changing tables are in handicapped stalls is because a handicapped person might need to change his or her baby’s diaper, and the ones outside of the stall are too high up to be reached by a person in a wheelchair.

    • Fluffy_1

      September 1, 2014 at 3:27 pm

      The floor is not disgusting; it probably gets cleaned more than your floor does, cuz you’re too busy playing Angry Birds and bitching on Facebook to get off your fat arse and mop it.

  61. Audrey

    December 16, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    put fucking bars on the sides of the smaller stalls as well, problem solved. Someone will not steal a walker, but think of cities where if you leave a stroller outside a stall your shit will get stolen, holy shit use your fucking heads.

  62. jales

    January 25, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    to the writer: you are a fucking retard! There are reasons while pregnancy is treated as a disability. If people were not told to get up and give us priority to sit in a bus for example they would not and sudden stops could cause us to fall injuring a HELPLESS FRAGILE life. Fucking retard. Also I would like to argue that having a small child is very much like being disabled and we do deserve special treatment. Do you know how often I have gone onto buses with an infant in my arm and NO one gave me a seat. Really, really often cause it’s not told to people no one thinks about it and if I fall the outcome is just not the same as if there was no baby on my arm. People should give us special treatment in certain cases. And it is very much a disability to have an infant on your arm, and many mothers do not have the luxury of óptions’ like a babysitter or whatever other bullshit you come up with. People need to be more sensitive. You see someone having a hard time, whether because of a child they are taking care of or because of a missing limb stop being a jackass and give them a seat or a bathroom stall or a helping hand or simply shut the fuck up!

    • Ciara Aisling O'Hagan

      May 6, 2013 at 4:42 am

      Wow you’ll be a great mother with casual use of the word retard to a stranger on the internet. It isn’t a disability to have a baby on your arm. A disability is having no arms at all.

    • Fluffy_1

      September 1, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      You had sex that took. Hate to break it to you, but that doesn’t make you special. Mammals have been doing that for billions of years.

  63. jales

    January 26, 2013 at 3:39 am

    I just want to make a comment and say that I have had a baby in Jamaica and in the Netherlands and the experience was much easier in Jamaica. There are no signs saying to give women with babies special treatment in either country. But in Jamaica 9 times out of ten if I had a baby in my arm I would get a seat on the bus. This almost never happened to me in the Netherlands. The problem in the Netherlands is that they are people like the writer of this article. They are extremely DISCONNECTED from the realities of life with children. Maybe the writer has kids but from this article I can be sure that he or she is not the one raising those kids. He or she is completely disconnected. In Jamaica people are more connected. People actually understand what life with a baby is like and so they are nicer without needing to be told to be so.

  64. jales

    January 26, 2013 at 3:50 am

    Also having an infant on your arm is a disability. You can not function as well as without an infant on your arm. You lose the mobility of one of your arms, your balance is off and the child can move at any moment throwing your balance more off. Children are also heavy and you can’t just put down an infant.. they cant walk or crawl, some cant even hold up their heads and will quickly hurt themselves on the floor. It causes exhaustion holding a baby for very long and you simply do not function as you would if your hands were free. If having a broken arm (which is also temporary) is a disability; having a child on your arm while traveling is a disability. And the argument with choice as far as kids are concerned is just dumb. We take chances and end up pregnant, just as a solider takes a chance by joining the army. Is it then his fault if he loses a leg while in battle and therefore he should never get special treatment?

  65. caro0905

    March 25, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    at my old job maternity leave was 100% paid. when i had to take time off for my CANCER it was at 80%. poor mommies.

  66. Snerrk

    July 24, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    My mother used to park in expectant mother places and if anyone ever asked her about it she would say “I am an expectant mother; I expect my children to be good citizens of the world.”

  67. Rebecca Erickson

    August 26, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    Just want to speak up here… I am pregnant, and I do not think I am disabled. I expect no special treatment. I don’t need my own bathroom stall or my own parking space or to be allowed to cut in line. My legs work just fine. Being considered “disabled” would really offend me and every other mother I know. The fact that my uterus is currently in-use does not make me disabled, and anyone who insists that is the case will bear the brunt of my neo-feminist rampage.

    So you found some rude people on facebook. Good job! But please don’t act as if ALL or even MANY mothers/expectant mothers are like that. Some of the comments on this article are making very general statements about “women” or “mothers” when you are really talking about one professor at U Dayton and 5 anecdotes from facebook. Lets keep that in mind and avoid rude generalizations.

    I, of all people, can understand a visceral reaction to rude people. But please understand that you are talking about six moms out of billions. Those rude ladies are the exception and not the rule.

  68. Ri

    September 4, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    I think we need more understanding towards pregnancy/motherhood from our employers (re job security, needing breaks to pump, etc.), but, even with my being pregnant now, I do not equate pregnancy with disability. That’s ridiculous. Though I did not purposely become pregnant, this is not a life-long problem or even a life-long inconvenience. I won’t hate on any pg women who uses a large stall, the same way I won’t assume a supposedly-healthy looking person isn’t disabled. But I don’t assume that is a right, or even think it needs to be, for pg ladies. Life changes when you get pregnant and after the baby(ies) are born, and your life needs to adjust to that. The world doesn’t necessarily have to (over)adjust to you.

  69. BubbleyToes

    September 13, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    I’m not pregnant, but I am disabled. You can’t see it outright, but I have severe orthopedic issues with one of my legs and I have had 6 surgeries for it. Because of this, and the constant pain I have almost every day, I have a handicapped parking tag, and I use it! Sometimes, on a bad day, I even use the little motorized carts at the grocery store. You should SEE the looks I get, because I can walk properly and if I’m wearing pants that hide my scar, you would never ever know. So, comparing a pregnancy to what I deal with (and so many more that have it WAY worse than I do) IS just rude.

  70. Emily Clocke

    February 15, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    For #2 – Leo absolutely deserved a Gold Star. Why didn’t he get one? EDIT: Anne deserves one too

  71. beth

    June 11, 2014 at 11:11 am

    I think both Kristin and the mom who yelled at her are jerks. She was just as entitled as the woman she was calling out for being entitled!

    The handicapped stall is not a bathroom Plaza Hotel for special people who like their space. It’s for HANDICAPPED PEOPLE. If there is a regular stall open, use the regular stall. You never know when someone who ACTUALLY NEEDS IT is going to walk in. Get over yourself, be thankful for your health and able body, and “squeeze” in the normal stall.

  72. Fluffy_1

    September 1, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    All these pregnicapped women need to get a life and get the fuck over themselves. They chose to get pregnant.

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  74. CFandHappy

    November 9, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    Stephanie needs to F-OFF!!! I love how all her friends jumped on her and pwned her with their comments. Yes Stephanie, stay home with your sprog if that’s the attitude you have. Honestly… moaning that she doesn’t get as many ‘perks’ as a disabled person? Pretty sure they are not ‘perks’ bitch, but just adaptations to help them live as close to a normal life as possible!!! What a self-absorbed bitch!

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