STFU Parents: Moms Who Leak Too Much Information About Their Incontinence On Facebook
We already know that some mothers reveal way too much about their bodies on social media, but by far the most common (and visually revealing) physical gripe is about incontinence. You guys know what I’m talkin’ about. The “oops!” pee that occurs during pregnancy and — for some women — every day after labor until you die? It’s a typical byproduct of being a mom (and/or geriatric person), and something that women understandably discuss over Cobb salads or after one of those trampoline classes at the gym. But what about on Facebook? Is joking about having to pee constantly, or actually peeing while sneezing, something the greater public can and should handle? Does incontinence (or the feeling of incontinence) fall into the “TMI” category, or are the status updates just amusing and relatable anecdotes?
After all, everyone has felt the sensation of having to pee REALLY BADLY or has accidentally peed themselves laughing, right? Maybe this is one of those topics that’s more funny than it is gross. OR, maybe it’s something women should keep off Facebook along with their mucus plugs, cervix dilations, and hard-ass uteruses. Whatever your opinion, one thing is for sure: A single incontinence update will lead to at least one incontinence comment, most likely from a woman who’s “been there and done that” and thinks she has a leg up (so to speak) on the subject. Let’s check out some unfortunate examples:
1. Airing Dirty Soiled Laundry
Jennifer is keeping it real. She’s not sure why she’s sharing her pee problem with Facebook, but hey, maybe someone will have a laugh at her expense. Someone like Amy, who’s already wet her pants twice today.
2. Peeing Yourself ≠Water Breaking
That’s right, Sara, JUST YOU WAIT. Every time you smile at your baby, you will pee. Every time you blink, you will soil yourself. And if you start keeping a “pee jar” like a “swear jar,” you’ll have enough cash by the end of each week to purchase a new box of adult diapers. Hope you’re feeling well! Lol.
3. “Letters To My Unborn Son”
Nicole is a Facebook letter drafter, which might mean that each day another “fun” letter gets posted about not getting any sleep, feeling nauseous, or having acid reflux. But I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she just posted a “Dear Blake” letter this one time, because I’m feeling charitable and 50 people “Liked” her status update. Also, because people like Ginger always come along to laugh with at you and make things worse, and who wants to deal with that every day?
4. Bladder Dancing
Bladder dancing is NOTHING compared to colon kick-stomping! And in the world of Competitive Motion In Utero, it doesn’t get much worse than a hostile and ticklish baby ribbing (or so I’ve heard). That said, bladder dancing is the only movement that results in wearing Depends like your Great Aunt Barb who chews with her mouth open.
5. My “Side Affects” Are Better Than Yours
Okay, so it’s “side effects” and not “affects,” but I still think Alisa handled this exchange pretty well considering Nikki’s comment. The only thing worse than hearing a friend say, “You’ll be peeing in your pants until you’re dead!” is hearing a friend say, “Haha, what a bummer for you! My underwear is dry as the desert…SUCKER.” At least Alisa is still laughing, pee pants and all. Sometimes the only thing left to do is wet yourself with a smile — though I’m not sure I’d recommend telling anyone about it.
