I also enjoy submissions written by dads because men seemingly "discover" things about parenthood that they never expected more often than moms do. I get the impression that mothers anticipate the diaper rashes, constipation, placenta cookbooks as baby shower gifts, and even the occasional baby boner. Since men don't appear to share the same level of anticipation, their updates tend to read as pure comedy.
I hope all the dads out there have a great Father's Day!
1. "Berry" Delicious
The original status update cracks me up, because J. is so clearly flummoxed by the prospect of blending up berry-flavored yogurt and "chunks" of his wife's placenta after she delivers their baby, but it's really his comment that makes this a Gold Star candidate. Goat entrails and pond scum might even be preferable to a chunky placenta 'n berry smoothie, if you ask me. This is one subject some men can't understand -- and for good reason.
I love it when parents take a funny picture of their baby and turn it into something creative. My favorite example of this is a blog post called "Katherine as Gollum," but Chris scores "dad points" for his sweetly dorky representation of fatherhood via the ever-popular Star Wars quote. (Although, this submission came to me before the new trilogy was announced, so he might need to revamp the numerical episode sequel.)
I don't make a point of saying, "Even poop updates can be funny if they're written the right way!" because it seems counterintuitive, but this is an excellent example of what I mean when I doo do say it. When your kid wins "Most Poop" in school (and there's a chart to prove it, complete with a smiley face), you'd be hard-pressed (so to speak) not to share. Talk about a humblebrag of stinky proportions. I tip my hat to you and your bowel-riffic son, Evan.
Technically Margaret gets a Gold Star, too, but we'll just focus on Josh since it's Father's Day. What greater gift is there than realizing your son is officially tall enough to stand eye-to-junk? He may not be able to ride a roller coaster yet, but he's tall enough to make showering a slightly harrowing experience for ol' Dad.
Okay, so Denis isn't a dad yet. Who cares?! This status update is hilarious, not only for his caption but because the way the picture is taken, it's almost as though the gold clubs are "posing" for their close-up. This is the anti-dad version of posting stylized pictures of a human baby and Denis's way of saying, "Come at me, bro. These clubs are like CHILDREN to me." Let's hope he raises them right and one day they get into a good school so that all hard work pays off. Happy "Father's" Day, Denis.