STFU Parents: Five Examples Of Questionable Parenting On Facebook
Most social media users will admit to having posted at least a few status updates that shouldn’t have been published. When you’re in the habit of relaying your day-to-day life to friends and followers, the chances of saying something kinda dumb online increase considerably. But what amuses me are the submissions I receive that I put into a folder titled “Questionable Parenting.” These are updates written by people who see nothing wrong with typing exactly what’s on their mind, even if what they write paints them as, well, questionable parents. That’s not to say that I’m judging whether they should be responsible for children so much as I’m judging their decision to post certain pieces of information on Facebook.
Maybe I’m just conservative with what I choose to share on social networking sites, but one thing I always think about when I type an update is, “How does this make me sound?” If the answers are ever “stupid,” “pathetic,” “egotistical,” or “like I need anger management classes,” then I typically refrain from hitting publish. But some people, much to my entertainment, don’t seem to screen themselves or their updates at all. It’s the “fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants” method of using Facebook, and it’s probably the most common way people engage with the site. Let me show you some examples so you can see if you agree. Here are five updates I wouldn’t have written as a parent on Facebook:
1. Add My Kid As A Friend
Facebook may present itself as one big popularity contest, but it irks me when parents encourage their kids to see it that way, too. This mom not only tagged her son (of unknown age) in her update begging for her friends to “friend” him, but she also makes demands on her friends in the process. It just seems like a bad idea all-around. Collecting friends for your kids – whether in real life, online or even as part of a silly game – is kind of the equivalent of getting your kid a job, except more embarrassing and without financial benefits. Let ’em do it themselves.
2. Faux Negligence
Some things should never be said aloud even if we’ve all “been there and done that” before. Sure, the two times I’ve accidentally locked my keys in the car there weren’t any live children inside, but still, it’s easy to imagine how such a thing might happen. I have no doubt that Lacie figured out a way to get back into her car before too much time had passed (ever hear of 911, a locksmith, etc.?), but posting this update on Facebook smacks of questionable parenting simply because it makes her look terrible. Even her friend seems to be saying, “And you’re mommyjacking my update with this information because…?? Get off Facebook and focus on your kids!”
3. Anger Issues
Everyone in this thread may be joking, but since when is it funny to post about putting another mom in a chokehold? There’s a time and a place for “violent” humor, and it’s not on Facebook. These ladies scare me a little.
4. Pay Me To Do Stuff
Nothing irritates me more than parents who whine about needing to get “sponsored” to do stuff with their kids. It’s not funny, it’s not cute, and it kind of makes me want to refrain from buying their kids another birthday present. The parents who crack jokes about “sponsorships” are usually the same ones who ask their friends to contribute to their child’s college fund, and a lot of the time I get the impression that they’re bummed when no one concedes. Just think of all the places Lisa and her kids could go!
5. Steal Stuff Mom Needs
It’s one thing to post an update on Facebook about your kid stealing (as many innocent kids are inclined do), but it’s another to admit that you told him to steal something mom needs. If you’re going to do that, at least use proper grammar to make it clear that ur you’re joking. Also, is this kid’s name really Noek? Talk about questionable parenting. I’m hoping that’s a typo.