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STFU Parents: Breastfeeding On Facebook

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Breastfeeding is a controversial topic, not just in real life but also on my blog. Here and there I’ll post a submission on the subject, but most of the time I stay away from it out of fear. Specifically, fear from lactivists who think I’m anti-breastfeeding.

You see, like many people I think that breastfeeding is a natural and healthy way to feed a baby. There’s no question in my mind that it’s an affordable (dirt cheap!) and tender (pun intended!) way for moms and babies to bond. But, also like many people, there are a few subjects that make me a little uncomfortable, such as public breastfeeding without a cover-up, in-depth discussions about bras filled with cabbage leaves, and extended breastfeeding. So today I thought I’d post a few submissions that I think are a bit “TMI” for Facebook to see what you guys think. Because while I don’t want to give breastfeeding a bad name, I still believe that some things are better left unsaid.

Here are some of the most common types of breastfeeding submissions I receive:

1. The Breastfeeding-In-The-Bathroom ArgumentSTFU Parents  Breastfeeding On Facebook 11 jpg
According to the person who submitted this, Debbie was still pregnant when she wrote this rather angry update, and to that I say, “Debbie, girlfriend, chill out!” There are effective and graceful ways to handle this type of situation IF it comes up, and it doesn’t involve the words “crap on your table” or telling anyone to do something with the male anatomy.

This goes hand-in-hand with the popular “chain status update” about breastfeeding in restrooms. While I do believe in advocating for breastfeeding rights, I’m just not convinced that this is the best way to go about it:

STFU Parents  Breastfeeding On Facebook 2 jpg

But hey, who am I to judge? Power to the people!

2. Breast Milk Has Many Uses

STFU Parents  Breastfeeding On Facebook 31 jpg

I get it – breast milk is amazing! It’s Liquid Gold! But do Amanda’s friends really want to picture her wiping eye make-up off her face or “curing” her husband’s ear infection with it? Survey says no.

3. Breast Milk Can Be Gross

STFU Parents  Breastfeeding On Facebook 41 jpg
AAHHH! Make it stop!!! The only strawberry milk shake I want to know about it is the kind that comes from an ice cream parlor. Anything else makes me queasy. SO QUEASY.

4. Lactating Is (not) Funny

STFU Parents  Breastfeeding On Facebook 5 milk cleavage jpg

Nursing bras, leaking boobs, wet t-shirts…they’re all a part of breastfeeding, and if you’re a new mom they can inspire some pretty funny moments. But those moments don’t need to be written about on Facebook, even if the UPS guy is involved.

5. Breastfeeding Can Hurt
STFU Parents  Breastfeeding On Facebook 4 sharp baby teeth png

This might be the most common type of breastfeeding submission I receive. Status updates about cracked and bloody nipples, baby teeth and sore breasts regularly find their way to my inbox, and based on this example it’s easy to see why. But when you start saying things like, “I’m surprised I still have nipples,” you really might want to reconsider your Facebook use.

Just a thought!

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