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STFU Parents: Mama Drama On Facebook

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If there’s one thing I never tire of, it’s receiving blog submissions that fall into the Mama Drama category. For me, Mama Drama is a refuge from all the poop posts and cervix dilation updates. It is to STFU, Parents what Maury Povich and Judge Judy are to daytime television, and it’s a category that seems to be growing as more parents take to Facebook to air their frustrations or pick fights with their friends and relatives.

I’m not saying that people should engage in public arguments on Facebook, but let’s be honest: watching other people have silly disputes – be it on TV, on the street, or online – is a much-beloved pastime for a certain generation. I’d even go so far as to say that the “Jerry Springer generation” that grew up watching heated arguments play out on TV is probably more inclined to have public disputes on Facebook, and many of the people who fit that description are now young parents. So, it only makes sense that Facebook is now being used as a virtual boxing ring for parents who have some words they’d like to get off their chest, be it with a group, a business or a friend. And watching the drama “unfold” in the form of comments and status updates has never been so amusing.

Here are some examples of what I mean:

1. Breastfeeding Drama
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By saying, “Here goes another FB fight. lol”, Kara demonstrates that she considers being “outspoken” about breastfeeding to be one of her calling cards. And hey, that’s fine. We all have our passions. But reacting combatively to a friend who’s shared an honest story – as opposed to disparaging a faceless parenting site – seems like a quick way to inadvertently persuade your own friends to “UN-FRIEND” you. No one wants a lecture on breastfeeding from their friends, especially when percentages are involved. Jamie is a person, not a number.

2. Antagonistic Drama
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Speaking of antagonism, it’s never a good idea to let your feelings show on Facebook, especially if those feelings are “bitter and angry” and you’re mommyjacking a friend’s status update to complain about how she never came to see you in the hospital. If she didn’t come see you then, she probably won’t be coming by anytime soon to see you now!

3. Family Drama
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Marion is Judith’s mother, also known as “the person who Judith duped into taking care of her baby while she’s off ‘parting and getting fucking drunk.'” This is the stuff Mama Drama legends are made of. It’s why daytime television rakes in so much money. It’s sad, it’s foolish and it’s grossly entertaining because you just can’t help but watch a good train wreck.

4. Petty Drama
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If you’re counting, this is the second time someone who’s acting antagonistic has said “just sayin.” Just sayin’ is basically a euphemism for “I’m just saying you’re kind of an asshole,” so if you want to “just say” something, chances are it’s not worth publishing on Facebook. Keep your “just sayin”s to yourself!

5. Facebook Drama

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Priorities, ladies. If your world has come to a screeching halt because you can’t post photos to Facebook for a whopping week, you might need to detox. Also, if a person reporting a picture of your nude child (however cute his butt may be) results in shouting the word “BITCH,” you might want to take a look at anger management classes. I’m not sure if there are classes specific to Facebook yet, but there should be.

 

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