Starbucks Officially Made The Worst Mother’s Day Gift Of All Time
There are a lot of bad Mother’s Day gifts out there, but I think Starbucks has outdone them all with this special Mother’s Day Gift Card, which I am pretty sure is officially the worst Mother’s Day gift of all time, because it is a $50 Starbucks card that costs $200. For that extra $150 you get the physical card itself and an ugly box to throw away after you open it, because nobody keeps their Starbucks card in a box.
Now, there is nothing wrong with Starbucks or Starbucks cards as gifts. I would probably love a nice, fat Starbucks gift card for a Mother’s Day present. But this one is not only ugly like a doily, the financial irresponsibility of it makes it a gift that says, “I cannot be trusted to do even the simplest task without your oversight.”
If I learned that my husband or child had spent $200 on a $50 Starbucks card, I would finally know what Jack’s mom felt like when he sold their cow for magic beans. This is what I imagine Lord Grantham gives the Dowager Countess for Mother’s Day on Downton Abbey, because Lord Grantham has managed to lose three fortunes in five seasons of the show, and that’s not including the time he tried to invest with “a nice Italian fellow named Ponzi.”
According to the Starbucks website, the special limited-edition Mother’s Day Starbucks card is made of metal and ceramic. It is still in stock, which is good because if anyone bought this I would cry for his or her mother.
“For Mother’s Day, give her beautiful flowers—the ones etched into this elegant and exclusive Starbucks Card.”
No! Do not do that. Send her actual flowers. Send her a macaroni necklace. Send her a dick pic. Seriously, a dick pic is a better Mother’s Day gift than a $50 Starbucks card in a $150 box.