Childrearing

Splitsville: How Did You Introduce Your Kids To Your New Significant Other?

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Welcome to Splitsville. This weekly column will focus on parenting after a divorce, break-up or one-night stand that didn’t end like a Katherine Heigl movie.

My husband and I started dating almost immediately after my daughter’s first birthday. In fact, one of the reasons I agreed to go out with him was because I was impressed that he remembered when her birthday was, after I had mentioned it in the briefest of conversations a couple weeks before. His thoughtfulness changed my, “I’m never going to date anyone ever again, I’m just going to be a single mom,” to “Maybe I could go on a date once a month when my daughter visits her dad.” I know, I was a crazy lady back then.

Anyways, it still took months for me to agree to introduce him to my daughter. Meeting my little one was a huge step. It confirmed the fact that we were planning on staying in a committed relationship for the foreseeable future. Really, it meant that we were planning on getting married in the future. I didn’t want my daughter to meet and lose another man in her life.

So for me, the day that my future-husband met my daughter was a huge, enormous moment in my life. It’s a day that I won’t forget, because that anticipation and stress still lingers in the back of my head.

This week for Splitsville, in honor of romance and new relationships, I asked some friends and readers how they introduced their little ones to their future step-parents. Was it a much-anticipated event? Or did it happen naturally over the course the relationship? Did you wait months or get it over on the first date? My own story is mixed in there somewhere.

Feel free to share your lover-meets-loved-one story in the comments. We would love to hear how you approached this all-important meeting.[ITPGallery]

3 Comments

  1. Andrea

    February 14, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    Lindsey, you made the right call. What’s the rush?

  2. Patricia

    February 15, 2012 at 8:26 am

    I have a tradition of going with my kid to a lovely bookstore that has a great outside area and serves great food and juices, it’s our monthly saturday tradition: a look at the books, pick one, have coffee and cake (for me), orange juice and a snack for him, then just hang out. So I invited my boyfriend to come along. At first my son was shy, but after the first hour he got comfortable.

  3. Cristina

    April 3, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    I’m actually the step-parent who was introduced… 🙂

    When we first started dating, my (now) husband made it very clear that he had not ever introduced any previous girlfriend to his daughter (who was 8 years old at the time) and had decided that it would take at least 3-6 months into the relationship before making that decision.

    I was 100% okay with this!! Actually, it made me respect him so much more and really helped push me to fall in love with him faster. After two months of dating, he broached the subject and asked if I would like to meet his daughter. We made a plan to meet at a local museum and spend a few hours together so that we were all on neutral grounds. Was I nervous? EXTREMELY!!!! She had NEVER been introduced to any previous girlfriend after 8 years???????? Talk about pressure!!!! But, it all turned out very well and we had such a great time that she even asked if I could stick around for a bit longer beyond the museum, which I, of course, did not refuse.

    My husband and I have been together for six years (married for 4) and couldn’t be happier!!

    Thanks for your post!

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