Dear ‘Deranged’ Sorority Girl, I Would Love To Hire You
Today I read that you officially resigned from your post at Delta Gamma after an e-mail lambasting your fellow sorority sisters for “FUCKING UP” on the sorority job went viral last week. I’m not sure what your scholastic plans are at the University of Maryland, or if perhaps you have that trusty college summer internship already lined up. I’m hoping that the publicity from last week has derailed your summer plans and that Delta Gamma’s loss is my gain. I would love to offer you a paid internship at Mommyish.
While I don’t condone some of your word choices — particularly the homophobic slur, mockery of special needs, and threats of violence — I think that with some sensitivity training, you could be a valuable addition to the Mommyish team. I like your enthusiasm as well as your ability to take charge of utter incompetence as you see it.
If properly focused, your dedicated rage could be a huge help with our coverage of issues like rape culture, tabloids being douchey, as well as the occasional asshat mommy actress. I feel that your creative vocabulary and articulate takedown of perceived injustices would give you a wonderful skill set for blogging, which I would love to harness and foster on our platform.
Other outlets have called you and your email “deranged” and “insane” for your fierce dedication. But I see the ambition and promise of an enterprising young lady who devotes 150 percent to her team, and therefore expects the same in return à la Sheryl Sandberg, Marissa Mayer, and many other women with clout.
I look forward to hearing from you. Though please refrain from “cunt punting” me.
Editor in Chief