Sofia Vergara Reportedly ‘Depriving’ Her Son Of A Father By Ending Relationship
The beautiful Modern Family star, Sofia Vergara, has always been vocal about her years as a young single mother. In fact, she earned my everlasting adoration when she spoke out about all the things that were great about young motherhood, offering a positive example of what’s often seen as a disastrous mistake. Vergara’s 19-year-old son, Manolo, is currently attending Boston University. And from the glimpses that we’ve gotten of him in the media, he seems to be a bright, well-rounded young man.
That’s why it is so disappointing to see that the New York Daily News reported on the actress’s break-up from boyfriend Nick Loeb by saying that Vergara “deprived” her son of a father figure. As the wonderful Laura Donovan said for The Jane Dough, “Though I don’t doubt Manolo grew close to Loeb over the two-year period in which Vergara and her former flame dated, it’s unfair to the high profile celebrity and her offspring to claim that the young man has lost a father figure thanks to his mom’s broken relationship.”
Let me say, I know a thing or two about “depriving” your child of a father. And I know that it is a completely false and unfair sentiment. Before my daughter’s first birthday, I had already chosen to end my relationship with her dad. The fact is that we were not meant to be partners. We were not married when we got pregnant and I think that there was a good reason that never discussed getting married for the sake of our daughter. It wasn’t the right choice for us.
But that decision not to stay together as a couple had absolutely nothing to do with our decisions when it comes to parenting our daughter. My ex is as involved with his little girl as he chooses to be. He has never had a request for visitation denied. Whether it’s on Christmas or in the middle of the day when I’ve already paid for her daycare, he is as much of a father as he wants to be. If he decides not to be too involved, then he would be the one denying his daughter. It wouldn’t be my fault because I chose to end our relationship.
Mothers who make a decision about their personal lives are not depriving their children of fathers. Those men have every right to continue to be a part of their children’s lives. And vice versa, I might add. If a single dad is dating and his relationship doesn’t work out, he is not depriving his children of a mother either.
The entire concept is insulting to both the children and the adults involved in this situation.
Some would say that situations like this are the reason that single parents shouldn’t date. Plenty of bystanders judge single moms for getting back into the dating pool, because they might be setting their children up to get attached to a person who won’t be around a couple years from now. I can even understand and sympathize with a small portion of this conversation, because I know that as a single mom, I was nervous about protecting my daughter from future heartache.
But first of all, Sofia Vergara’s son is 19 years old. He was 17 when his mother started dating her boyfriend. He wasn’t a young child wouldn’t be able to understand grown-up relationships. He would obviously be able to distinguish the complexities of the situation, and to continue on with a friendship with Nick Loeb should he choose to.
Second of all, if you missed out on every relationship because you wanted to protect your child, you could actually be holding your family back from an amazing new addition. When I started dating my now-husband, I was hesitant for fear of my daughter’s emotions. I waited months before I introduced my boyfriend and my little girl. But I am so happy that I was open to a new relationship, because now my daughter has an amazing step-father who loves her with every fiber of his being.
Single parents are always going to protect their children. They’re always going to have a balancing act when it comes to personal relationships and their kids. But their choices should not earn judgment for “depriving” their children of additional parent-figures. A hard-working mom like Sofia Vergara has proven that you can be all the parent your child needs on your own, and I highly doubt that her son feels like he has been deprived of anything.