If You’re Sad And Alone On Valentine’s Day, Stop Blaming Your Dysfunctional Parents
In my early twenties, I was single for many a Valentine’s Day, so I know what I’m talking about. I did all of the cliché single Valentine’s Day things—I pretended like the holiday didn’t exist, I volunteered to work because I could always make cash off of stupid lovesick couples that were willing to wait two hours for a reservation, and I went out with girlfriends on platonic Valentine’s dates to prove that we really didn’t care about our single status.
How very Sex and the City of me.
If you’re single on Valentine’s Day this year, I know it can be frustrating. Maybe you are one of the few people that it doesn’t bother, or maybe you are one of the many singles that just hopes for February 15 already.
It may comfort you to know that according to a recent Journal of Marriage and Family study, your single status is probably all your parents’ fault:
A higher quality of parent-teen relationships leads to a higher quality of romantic relationships for those grown children years later, possibly boosting the chances of finding true love.
In a sense, the study findings are kind of like, duh. I think most people grasp the fact that the quality of your relationship with your parents can also affect the quality of your romantic relationships. So, the study makes sense, but I wouldn’t call it the be-all end-all for finding a Valentine.
I had many childhood issues growing up, and I currently have a rocky relationship with my dad. Yes, I have many, many daddy issues, but I’ve taken the time to work through them (and still am working). I feel really fortunate in finding my husband because I hit the jackpot in that he is not a crazy, imbalanced, younger version of my dad. I’ve dated plenty of guys like that—I just didn’t end up marrying them.
If you want to wallow in your Valentine’s Day self-pity, then you can use this study as fodder to blame your dysfunctional parents for screwing up your love life. Or maybe, those of us with less-than-perfect parent relationships can grow up and figure out how to find true love on our own terms.
(photo: Getty Images)